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Nintendo Switch Weekly eShop Sale (Full List)

2020.10.23 00:40 DealsPoster Nintendo Switch Weekly eShop Sale (Full List)

List of Nintendo Switch games that went on sale in the last week on eShop:

You can order the list by Metacritic, Price, Discount...etc..

Title Price % Off End Date Metacritic
#KILLALLZOMBIES $11.99 40% 11/5 -
88 Heroes - 98 Heroes Edition $5.99 80% 11/1 65
1979 Revolution: Black Friday $3.59 70% 11/4 77
AER Memories of Old $4.99 75% 11/11 73
Aery - Little Bird Adventure $3.98 43% 11/11 -
AFL Evolution 2 $42.49 15% 10/27 -
Agent A: A puzzle in disguise $$1.99 90% 11/13 79
Alder's Blood $9.99 50% 11/6 74
Alien: Isolation $$19.99 43% 11/3 83
Alien Cruise $3.60 68% 11/1 -
A Magical High School Girl $1.99 87% 10/26 -
Anima: Gate of Memories - Arcane Edition $10.49 65% 11/1 -
Anima: Gate of Memories - The Nameless Chronicles $6.99 65% 11/1 -
Anima: Gate of Memories $6.99 65% 11/1 61
ANIMUS: Harbinger $3.99 50% 11/9 69
ANIMUS $3.99 50% 11/9 -
Anthill $3.99 60% 11/1 65
Archaica: The Path Of Light $4.94 67% 11/2 -
Assassin's Creed III: Remastered $19.99 50% 11/1 60
Assassin’s Creed: The Rebel Collection $19.99 50% 11/1 80
Atomic Heist $1.99 75% 10/27 -
Awe $1.99 60% 11/1 -
A Winter's Daydream $2.99 50% 11/5 -
Bargain Hunter $8.74 30% 11/1 -
Battle Princess Madelyn Royal Edition $3.74 75% 11/9 -
Battle Princess Madelyn $4.99 75% 11/9 65
Beat Cop $3.49 77% 10/31 70
Bibi & Tina at the horse farm $20.99 30% 11/5 -
Bibi & Tina – Adventures with Horses $20.99 30% 11/5 -
Bibi Blocksberg – Big Broom Race 3 $20.99 30% 11/5 -
Birds and Blocks $1.99 60% 11/10 -
Blacksad: Under the Skin $19.99 60% 10/28 60
Blair Witch $14.99 50% 11/5 59
Bleed 2 $3.74 75% 11/4 79
Bleed $2.99 75% 11/4 75
Bloodroots $$1.99 90% 11/2 75
Blood Waves $4.99 50% 11/5 -
Breathing Fear $$1.99 60% 11/2 -
Bridge Strike $$2.09 70% 11/10 -
BringIt to MOM $1.99 90% 11/1 -
Bubble Cats Rescue $1.59 60% 11/9 -
Bulb Boy $2.24 75% 11/5 75
Bullet Battle: Evolution $7.49 50% 11/9 -
Bunny Adventure $1.80 70% 11/5 -
Cake Laboratory $1.99 33% 11/11 -
Call of Juarez: Gunslinger $11.99 40% 11/3 72
Captain StarONE $4.99 50% 10/30 -
Card Game Bundle Vol. 1 $3.59 85% 11/4 -
Car Driving School Simulator $$8.99 36% 11/6 -
Caretaker $4.79 40% 10/31 -
Cars 3: Driven to Win $9.99 75% 11/2 59
Chaos on Deponia $4.99 75% 11/11 -
Child of Light Ultimate Edition $4.99 75% 11/1 84
Children of Morta $12.99 41% 10/31 80
Circle of Sumo $4.99 50% 10/26 53
City Driving Simulator $$5.99 50% 11/6 -
Clouds & Sheep 2 $2.49 75% 10/29 -
Clumsy Rush $2.99 40% 8 hours -
Color Zen Kids $3.19 20% 11/9 -
Conduct TOGETHER! $$1.99 90% 11/13 80
Conga Master Party! $1.99 80% 11/1 71
Cooking Tycoons - 3 in 1 Bundle $6.49 50% 11/9 -
Crawl $4.99 67% 11/4 82
Creepy Brawlers $1.99 60% 11/5 -
Crown Trick $17.99 10% 8 hours 79
Crypt of the NecroDancer: Nintendo Switch Edition $3.99 80% 11/11 86
Cube Creator X $9.99 50% 11/11 -
Curious Cases $3.99 20% 10/31 -
Curious Expedition $10.04 33% 11/1 68
Cyber Protocol $1.99 80% 8 hours 71
Cycle 28 $2.09 70% 10/29 69
Dark Burial $1.99 50% 10/27 -
Darksiders Genesis $26.79 33% 11/5 74
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition $14.99 50% 11/5 77
Darksiders Warmastered Edition $14.99 50% 11/5 77
Dead Dungeon $1.99 60% 10/27 64
Dead Synchronicity: Tomorrow Comes Today $3.89 74% 11/1 72
Death Road to Canada $7.49 50% 11/4 79
Death Squared $2.99 80% 11/6 78
Debtor $$1.99 33% 11/2 -
Decay of Logos $9.99 50% 11/1 58
Demon's Crystals $4.94 67% 11/1 -
DEMON'S TILT $11.99 40% 11/1 -
Deployment $0.99 90% 10/25 -
Deponia Doomsday $4.99 75% 11/11 -
Deponia $3.99 90% 11/11 64
Detective Driver: Miami Files $4.79 60% 11/6 -
Doggie Ninja The Burning Strikers $5.00 38% 11/6 -
Doggie Ninja The Golden Mission $2.00 75% 11/6 -
Don't Die, Mr Robot! $2.24 75% 11/4 72
Don't Starve: Nintendo Switch Edition $4.99 75% 11/2 78
DragonFangZ - The Rose & Dungeon of Time $12.49 50% 11/6 66
DreamGallery $2.99 50% 11/6 -
Drift Legends $4.99 50% 11/11 -
Drowning $1.49 50% 11/5 -
eCrossminton $7.94 47% 11/1 -
Edna & Harvey: Harvey's New Eyes $6.99 65% 11/11 -
Edna & Harvey: The Breakout – Anniversary Edition $6.99 65% 11/11 66
Eight-Minute Empire: Complete Edition $7.49 50% 10/27 -
Elden: Path of the Forgotten $10.39 35% 11/5 63
Escape First $3.99 20% 10/31 -
Event Horizon: Space Defense $$2.09 70% 11/2 -
Fantasy Tower Defense $2.49 50% 32 hours -
Farabel $1.99 80% 10/26 -
fault - milestone one $8.99 40% 10/26 -
Felix The Reaper $2.49 90% 11/11 67
Fight Crab $16.99 15% 17 hours 70
FLIP OVER FROG $0.99 87% 11/10 -
Flipping Death $3.99 80% 11/1 83
Freaky Awesome $3.89 70% 11/1 -
FunBox Party $$1.99 20% 11/3 -
Galaxy Champions TV $1.29 82% 11/2 65
Gas Station: Highway Services $$5.99 50% 11/6 -
Gem Smashers $6.99 30% 11/5 -
GIGA WRECKER ALT. $12.49 50% 11/1 67
Ginger: Beyond the Crystal $4.99 75% 11/1 -
Glass Masquerade 2: Illusions $5.99 50% 11/4 -
Glass Masquerade $2.99 75% 11/4 -
Goodbye Deponia $4.99 75% 11/11 77
Goonya Fighter $0.99 96% 11/10 74
Gothic Murder: Adventure That Changes Destiny $9.59 20% 10/29 -
Grand Prix Rock 'N Racing $2.99 70% 11/8 -
Grimshade $18.74 25% 11/4 -
Gunman Clive HD Collection $1.99 50% 11/5 -
Hacky Zack $2.49 75% 11/4 -
Heart&Slash $4.94 67% 11/1 63
Hello Kitty Kruisers With Sanrio Friends $20.96 30% 11/1 51
Hexa Maze $13.99 30% 11/5 -
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?! $4.49 70% 11/1 70
Holy Potatoes! We're In Space?! $4.49 70% 11/1 -
Holy Potatoes! What The Hell?! $10.50 30% 11/1 -
Hypnospace Outlaw $14.99 25% 11/5 84
I, Zombie $1.99 60% 11/6 64
Indie Darling Bundle Vol 2 $5.24 85% 11/4 -
Indie Puzzle Bundle Vol 1 $5.99 85% 11/4 -
INK $2.24 75% 11/4 68
Invisible, Inc. Nintendo Switch Edition $14.99 25% 11/2 -
Isoland 2 - Ashes of Time $2.50 31% 11/1 -
Istanbul: Digital Edition $9.99 50% 10/27 -
It's Spring Again $0.99 50% 11/5 -
Jenny LeClue - Detectivu $$2.99 88% 11/9 -
Jeopardy! $7.99 60% 11/1 -
Jurassic Pinball $2.00 33% 11/8 -
Just Dance 2020 $19.99 50% 11/1 74
Kakurasu World $0.99 67% 11/5 -
Kawaii Deathu Desu $3.49 30% 11/12 -
Kingdom: New Lands $2.99 80% 11/3 74
Layers of Fear: Legacy $3.99 80% 11/5 80
LEGO CITY Undercover $8.99 70% 11/2 78
LEGO DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition $22.49 70% 11/2 -
LEGO DC Super-Villains $17.99 70% 11/2 75
LEGO Harry Potter Collection $12.49 75% 11/2 73
LEGO Jurassic World $11.99 70% 11/2 71
LEGO Marvel Super Heroes 2 $8.99 70% 11/2 76
LEGO NINJAGO Movie Video Game $12.49 75% 11/2 66
LEGO The Incredibles $17.99 70% 11/2 65
LEGO Worlds $8.99 70% 11/2 59
Leopoldo Manquiseil $1.99 50% 11/1 -
Little Triangle $6.75 55% 11/1 74
Lonely Mountains: Downhill $14.99 25% 11/5 84
Lost Artifacts: Time Machine $3.99 60% 11/5 -
Lovecraft´s Untold Stories $6.89 54% 11/1 -
Lydia $$2.00 50% 11/7 73
Mad Carnage $0.29 94% 10/26 46
Marblelous Animals $1.99 60% 11/1 -
Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle $14.99 75% 11/1 85
Mark of the Ninja: Remastered $4.99 75% 11/2 89
MazezaM - Puzzle Game $4.12 25% 11/1 -
Mecho Tales $0.09 91% 11/11 43
Mecho Wars: Desert Ashes $0.65 93% 11/11 -
Mech Rage $$1.99 80% 11/2 -
Mechstermination Force $2.39 80% 11/5 79
Mega Man 11 $14.99 50% 10/30 80
Mega Man Legacy Collection 2 $9.99 50% 10/30 77
Mega Man Legacy Collection $10.04 33% 10/30 83
Mega Man X Legacy Collection 2 $9.99 50% 10/30 60
Mega Man X Legacy Collection $9.99 50% 10/30 84
Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection $22.49 25% 10/30 83
MONOPOLY $9.99 75% 11/1 53
Monster Dynamite $13.99 30% 11/5 -
Monster Energy Supercross - The Official Videogame 3 $19.99 60% 11/5 67
Monster Loves You $1.99 80% 11/5 -
Moonlighter $8.49 66% 10/31 83
Mortal Kombat 11 $19.99 60% 11/2 78
MotoGP20 $19.99 50% 11/5 -
Moto Rush GT $0.99 93% 11/9 74
Mushroom Quest $0.29 90% 10/26 -
My Girlfriend is a Mermaid!? $2.49 90% 10/26 -
My Universe - My Baby $20.99 30% 10/28 -
Neon City Riders $13.99 30% 11/3 61
Nerdook Bundle Vol. 1 $4.49 85% 11/4 -
Neverout $1.99 73% 11/3 62
Nightmare Boy $1.99 80% 11/1 61
Ninja Shodown $2.99 80% 11/1 61
Nirvana Pilot Yume $2.99 40% 8 hours -
NORTH $1.49 50% 11/5 66
Null Drifter $2.49 50% 11/12 -
Nullum $1.39 30% 11/10 -
Observer $8.99 70% 11/5 75
Offroad Racing - Buggy X ATV X Moto $9.99 50% 10/28 -
Omega Strike $3.74 75% 11/4 -
OMG Police - Car Chase TV Simulator $1.99 60% 8 hours -
One Person Story $2.00 33% 10/27 66
Oniken: Unstoppable Edition & Odallus: The Dark Call Bundle $4.99 75% 11/4 -
OTTTD: Over The Top Tower Defense $0.99 88% 11/1 55
Panda Hero $7.49 50% 11/5 -
Paranautical Activity $2.39 70% 11/4 -
Parking Madness $1.80 70% 11/5 -
Party Crashers $$1.99 87% 11/12 -
Party Golf $$1.99 87% 11/12 74
Party Planet $2.99 85% 11/1 46
Pato Box $4.49 70% 11/3 74
Perfect Traffic Simulator $1.99 80% 8 hours -
Pet Shop Snacks $0.49 90% 11/9 -
Pipe Push Paradise $2.74 75% 11/4 -
Pixel Action Heroes $3.99 20% 11/9 69
Plague Road $0.99 93% 11/11 -
PLOID SAGA $2.39 80% 11/6 -
Polandball: Can Into Space $2.24 25% 10/28 -
Poopdie - Chapter One $3.35 33% 11/5 -
Project Starship $2.49 50% 11/12 -
Purrs In Heaven $2.44 65% 11/5 -
Queen's Quest 3: The End of Dawn $1.49 90% 11/9 -
Quest for the Golden Duck $1.99 80% 11/2 -
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition $7.49 75% 10/29 62
Rain City $4.45 41% 11/1 -
Rayman Legends Definitive Edition $9.99 75% 11/1 84
Red's Kingdom $2.99 70% 11/1 66
Red Death $2.49 50% 11/12 -
Rest in Pieces $1.99 75% 11/7 67
Restless Hero $3.49 50% 10/29 -
Rhythm of the Gods $2.24 75% 10/26 -
RICO $9.99 50% 11/1 70
Rift Keeper $4.99 50% 11/5 -
RISK Global Domination $9.99 50% 11/1 -
RIVE: Ultimate Edition $1.99 87% 11/5 82
Riverbond $7.49 70% 11/2 60
Robox $1.99 80% 11/5 -
Rock 'N Racing Off Road DX $2.99 70% 11/8 -
Rogue Bit $2.49 50% 11/2 -
Rollin' Eggz $1.99 33% 11/11 -
Rooms: The Adventure of Anne & George $5.90 61% 11/1 -
Rune Factory 4 Special $29.99 25% 10/29 81
Scribblenauts Mega Pack $9.99 75% 11/2 76
Scribblenauts Showdown $9.99 75% 11/2 47
Sea Salt $9.89 34% 11/2 -
Shift Happens $2.99 80% 11/11 -
Shikhondo - Soul Eater $4.19 70% 11/4 53
Shovel Knight: Specter of Torment $6.99 30% 11/1 84
Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove $27.99 30% 11/1 91
Sigi - A Fart for Melusina $2.49 50% 11/5 52
Silence $3.99 90% 11/11 75
Skelly Selest & Straimium Immortaly Double Pack $5.99 70% 11/4 -
Skull Rogue $$1.99 33% 11/3 -
Sky Racket $3.74 75% 17 hours 72
Sky Ride $0.99 86% 11/10 -
Slots of Poker at Aces Casino $3.99 50% 11/1 -
Solitaire Deluxe Bundle - 3 in 1 $2.99 80% 11/9 -
Soul Searching $$3.99 60% 11/7 66
South Park: The Fractured but Whole - Standard Edition $14.99 75% 11/1 80
South Park: The Stick of Truth $11.99 60% 11/1 82
Spectrum $2.39 80% 11/4 -
Speed 3: Grand Prix $35.99 10% 11/10 -
Speed Dating for Ghosts $2.09 70% 11/1 -
Speedway Racing $$4.99 50% 11/12 -
Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy $14.99 50% 11/5 61
Spirit Roots $1.98 72% 11/2 -
Spooky Ghosts Dot Com $$2.49 50% 11/2 -
Starlink: Battle for Atlas Digital Edition $14.99 75% 11/1 -
Starman $0.99 89% 11/11 -
State of Mind $3.99 90% 11/11 63
SteamWorld Dig 2 $7.99 60% 11/1 88
SteamWorld Dig $2.49 75% 11/1 75
SteamWorld Heist: Ultimate Edition $4.99 75% 11/1 91
SteamWorld Quest: Hand of Gilgamech $12.49 50% 11/1 81
Stellar Interface $1.99 85% 11/1 -
STELLATUM $7.49 50% 11/5 -
Stick It to The Man $2.39 80% 11/1 74
Stones of the Revenant $$4.99 50% 11/6 -
Storm In A Teacup $2.09 30% 11/1 -
STORY OF SEASONS: Friends of Mineral Town $34.99 30% 10/29 77
Streets of Red - Devil's Dare Deluxe $5.99 40% 11/1 79
SubaraCity $2.50 50% 10/30 62
Sunless Sea: Zubmariner Edition $12.99 35% 11/4 73
Super Arcade Soccer $2.09 70% 11/8 -
Super Chariot $1.49 90% 11/4 76
Supermarket Shriek $$17.99 10% 11/6 -
SuperMash $1.99 90% 11/4 51
Super One More Jump $0.98 86% 11/1 81
Super Punch Patrol $4.49 10% 11/5 75
Super Street: Racer $17.49 56% 11/1 66
Swap This! $1.99 60% 11/5 59
Sweet Witches $$1.99 80% 11/2 -
Swordbreaker The Game $$1.99 60% 11/2 -
Swords & Soldiers $1.99 73% 11/5 72
Syberia 2 $1.49 95% 11/4 68
Syberia 3 $9.99 80% 11/4 -
Syberia $4.90 67% 11/4 76
Tactical Mind $$1.99 33% 11/3 54
Tamashii $5.99 50% 11/4 -
Tangle Tower $13.99 30% 10/25 85
The Adventures of Elena Temple: Definitive Edition $1.99 60% 11/11 -
The Aquatic Adventure of the Last Human $3.89 70% 11/4 72
The Bunker $6.49 50% 11/5 60
The Experiment: Escape Room $3.19 20% 10/31 -
The Great Perhaps $4.99 50% 11/2 -
The Last Campfire $11.99 20% 10/26 81
The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame $11.99 70% 11/2 56
The Long Journey Home $5.99 80% 11/11 58
Them Bombs! $9.79 30% 11/8 -
Theme Park Simulator: Roller Coaster & Thrill Rides $7.94 47% 11/1 -
The Mooseman $3.49 50% 11/5 70
The Office Quest $3.59 70% 11/5 -
The Outer Worlds $47.99 20% 10/30 66
The Raven Remastered $14.99 50% 11/5 74
The Tower of Beatrice $2.99 50% 11/5 -
They Breathe $2.67 33% 11/5 -
Three Fourths Home: Extended Edition $2.24 75% 11/4 59
Time Tenshi $10.49 30% 11/1 -
Toki Tori 2+: Nintendo Switch Edition $1.99 87% 11/5 84
Toki Tori $1.99 60% 11/5 82
Toki $2.95 80% 10/28 66
Tower Climb $1.80 70% 11/5 -
Tower Of Time $16.23 35% 11/4 -
Towertale $1.99 80% 11/5 -
Trailblazers $5.99 80% 11/1 62
Treasure Stack $3.99 80% 10/31 52
Trials Rising $5.99 70% 11/1 78
TRIVIAL PURSUIT Live! $9.99 50% 11/1 61
Truck Driving Simulator $$8.99 25% 11/13 -
Twister Road $$0.99 80% 11/8 -
Ubongo $9.09 35% 10/26 -
Ultimate Runner $13.99 30% 11/5 -
Uncanny Valley $2.49 75% 11/4 -
Underhero $10.18 40% 11/4 86
UNO $3.99 60% 11/1 69
Unrailed! $14.99 25% 11/12 69
Up Cliff Drive $1.80 70% 11/5 -
Urban Flow Extended Edition $$6.79 60% 11/13 -
Valfaris & Slain Double Pack $13.99 65% 11/4 -
Valiant Hearts: The Great War $4.99 75% 11/1 77
Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York $11.69 10% 10/29 65
Vertical Drop Heroes HD $2.49 75% 11/4 -
Viviette $6.99 30% 11/5 58
War Theatre $0.65 93% 11/11 -
WeakWood Throne $$2.99 40% 11/13 -
Wheel of Fortune $7.99 60% 11/1 -
Wide Ocean Big Jacket $3.19 60% 11/1 79
Willy Jetman: Astromonkey's Revenge $6.89 54% 11/1 75
Windmill Kings $1.99 80% 11/2 -
WordHerd $1.99 67% 10/25 -
World Soccer Pinball $2.00 33% 11/8 -
World Tree Marché $5.99 50% 10/30 -
Wuppo: Definitive Edition $4.99 67% 10/29 -
Wurroom $0.99 50% 11/5 -
WWE 2K Battlegrounds $29.99 25% 10/29 56
Zarvot $9.99 50% 41 hours 72
Zenith $7.49 50% 11/1 -
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2020.10.19 01:20 ignaposts [Thank You] ¡Que plancha lo atrasada que estoy con mis agradecimientos! (Chilean stuff #5)

Plancha, which means iron... the one used to iron clothes (so many "irons"!), in chilean also means "embarrassing": "It's embarrasing how late I am with my thank you's!"... or something like that. Oh, there was a tongue twister with "plancha", (but not the chilean one): Pancha plancha con cuatro planchas.... Why 4? It makes no sense, should be "pocas" instead.... but saying "few" for ironing with irons is quite a lot. Lol.

I know many here have sent me more than the mentioned cards below, but I'm keeping it simple and going with the ones that come out first for this round. For the glitterbomb ones, that'll be my last update, thus marking my definitive return to the sub (and also definitive chaos on my room again, oh dear... I'm seeing the pandora box eeying me evily)
So, let me try pouring with my weak words my feeble attempts at muttering my gratitude to so many wonderful people.

u/feellikebeingajerk Oh, man.... it seems the overseas Easter chick test failed due to... unexpected world events, lol. But it did bring me such a smile when I opened it.... many many months later (5 maybe?). I adore Samson. Yeah, that's how I named my chick, since he looks kinda hairy. Have it in my desk, supervising my artsy mess. I used the orange pipe cleaners to tie the two pompoms and even the beak! I wanted to test myself how little glue I could use in this project, which I find really fun challenging myself.... specially now. Oh, come on, look at Samson, he's so adorbs. <3 Thank you so much.
u/bellanova2018 I really hope your trip to India was awesome. I'd love going there some day! Al the regional dishes stamps are so fascinating, (and pretty). Thank you so much for also introducing me to such cool food. Now I really, really wanna try Palak Paneer. What does it have? My sis told me it doesn't look apetizing at all, but knowing that it has spinach, now it is in my top 10 ones I wanna try if I ever travel there. Is food too spicy? Thank you so much for such an awesome mail. I also LOVE your handwriting. I wanna try your cool “A”s, haha.
u/KrebsLovesFiesh I opened your card during quarantine and it brightened up my day so much. It had a super cute postcard of a watch shop. It reminded me of this store I liked seing with my mom and sisters in Austria everytime we turned a corner. It had these colorful handmade clocks with such fun and cool shapes. There was one of a kitchenaid . Wow, who would've thought that was this year. Seems like it was sooo long ago. I really hope you've been doing fine.oh, I also really loved the envelope with the year of the rat stamps marks. That is so freakin cool. They're so adorable, it makes you wanna collect them.
u/LifeOfLari Thank you so much for the Lake Kawaguchi postcard. Mt Fuji is so pretty. It reminds me of the Villarrica Volcano. I love watching it throwing smoke with the lake at its feet. I loved your story of asking help to a grandma while lost. It is so cute! Like being a kid back again. I usually get lost everywhere, specially in foreign counties when I'm supposed to be in a group. Lol, I sound so hatable, haha. But when I'm stolling alone, I like to get lost in purpose. I usually end up finding pleasant surprises. Who knows, maybe you find the old couple again one day, I'll keep my fingers crossed ;)
u/TigerLady13 Oh Aunt Bertha. I swear this card got lost after so many drinks, it took ages to arrive!. Even the stamps were backwards, adding more awesomeness to these cards sent by my fave auntie. Shhhh, don't tell that to anyone. My love is the best cash, so sending you lots of it! I also love the fact that you greeted me first in spanish and that was too scholarly for vacations, so it was crossed out and replaced by a proper holiday like “aloha”, lol.
u/oneinamelon I had a big facepalm with this yahoo knock knock joke. Many don't work in Spanish, so we have other types here, so it always feel new and refreshing, lol. And yes, I prefer google too. Is Yahoo still alive? I wonder if people still use it. I think after google I'd rather use DuckDuckGo before yahoo or even Bing. Bleuuughhh, don't like Bing at all. It is so messy and I never get the results I want. Thumbs down. And for some reasone I keep uninstalling it and from time to time it gets re-installed with the updates. Lol, I went on a tangent? Thanks so much for the laugh. I wanna show it to my sisters :)
u/CeceMarie I can't describe how much I love this card. It almost feels prophetic, how our everyday interactions get more and more transfered to the online world. Wow, 15 years ago feels like yesterday, but so many differences were there!s The 2000's feels so close but are actually quite back. What made me tell the card was old was the fax number in the back of the card instead of an email. I wonder if people still uses fax machines. I always felt them wierd, noisy and obsolete... and expenisve. I guess Chile was really poor back in the 90's. I remember my parents waited for more than a year to get a phone number, and they lived in a flat behind my grandparents, so they extended a wire up to their apartment, but it was the same number. I remember in elementary school a friend had a color printer in her house and that was so freakin cool. We never had a fax. What people used to do was to go to someone's house to send them or special shops. And for very imporant or specific things. I remember when my cousin was born the 94 in europe, and my aunt send us a fax. Still faxes felt alien for me. Maybe because I never used them for work. In the 2000's I watched many things on cartoons that seemed normal in households but not here. Like putting people on hold and changing to another call, or group calls, or seeing the ID number. I wonder if it was ever possible or a paid aditional service. Wow, how times change. During quarantine we got rid of our house number. It was painful for my parents, but at the end most of them were spam calls and no one wanted to answer. Oh gosh, I'm writing a novel here, I should give you a proper slow reply.
u/ninajyang I love the pictures you've taken in your trips. This one is an amazing night skyline in Shangai that looks so pretty! I'd love to visit there one day. When I got your postcard I couldn't stop and think, wow, cities next to clear waters look so dreamy! It makes me wonder, what were the sounds there, how are the people like, what are the smells that can be sensed, the temperature. I love remembering the smells of trips, and when I get to sense them again, they transport me to the good memories I've had around the world. I tasted Glühwein for the first time when I met u/5-finger-death-punch. And that's one of the aromas that stuck for that memory, with the feeling of a cold nose sensing the heat of the hot spiced wine. Oh man, I had planned traveling to Aus next month for quite a while and then tour Asia. Who knows if that'll be possible. But who knows if the future holds unexpected good surprises instead? We'll see. Thank you so much for your postcard!
u/5-finger-death-punch My dear friend! I've remembered you so much! For a long time I've felt like writing you a long letter, but then I start overthinking stuff and that oh, this is a carding sub, and that could be overwhelming and yada yada yada. I hope you're doing well as well as your studies. And also that you've kept your same address, I sent you some stuff your way. Did I ever send you the picture of the unrememberable-name-for-me sweet we ate? We couldn't ice skate at the end with my sisters that weekend, but we got to enjoy nice live music at the Prater while flakes started to fall. My historian sister remembers you the most, and in a very fond way. We had so much fun that day. Getting the Albertina postcard with the … Feldhase... Der Haseichverstehenicht? Brought me so many good memories. I wish I could've visited more museums! My fam hates me, I take too much time inside. I love how you also put a bunny in the back. I think I've watched this postcard for 10 minutes straight. Lol, I could make a museum locked-down experience with some of the postcards that I've got, and have no one complain.haha. Thank you so much. Ohhhh, I just realized! This one is stamped in germany with a flockenblume. Wow, I think I'm starting to understand what felt so overwhelming before! Is it like.... sheeps flower? Lol.
u/underscoreophelia Thank you so much for such a pretty and filled with energy and positivity card. I loved it so much! I love your handwriting and notes, and fun letter, it brings me so many good memories and also a Geronimo Stilton vibe, and I LOVE it. I also love how you write Chile... I wanna try writing it too. This was such a nice card to get, filled with so much love and praise. I know I've been away for a while, and that I wasn't very filled with warmth and positivity the last months, but now I feel filled with new energy again, and determined to be the best version of myself... and probably still a bit cray cray. I guess I still love being different and doing wierd random stuff. I really hope you've been doing okay. And hydrated? Lol, in my fam we became addicted to water this quarantine. Our first day out to a restaurant we all asked plain water and I refilled it 3 times and also drank my sis'. I've drank so much water that fizzy drinks taste wierd now and feel like a chore (for example, being in the countryside and no one brought drinkable water ) Thank you so much, and rest assured, I'm dead set on archieving real longlasting happiness now. And I know that can be archived by searching what is really really true and real, getting rid of what's fake and selfish in me and by doing my best for others by walking the extra mile. I have a hunch that I'm capable of loving so much more. There is so much good I could do! The future looks so bright now, whatever happens.
u/yellowseptember (x3) Oh my dear yellowseptember, I felt so spoiled getting your surprise selection of poems, haiku and poo-etry. You wrote them? Wow, I wanna try writing pooetry too. It'll always be a mystery to me how on earth you print your cards. I sometimes forget how much fun it is to write them. The other day I helped my cousin write a rant in verse about quarantine. In Spanish, of course.... I haven't tried in English, except that impromtu haiku battle I once had in the comment section of this sub once. I seriously love your cards, they made me snort, and the postcards are pretty and fun! It is also my first woman in science postcard I recieve, and I love it! I wanted to be a scientist when little, but robotics and mechanics was only for boys back then and that was maddening. I also was the only girl in advanced physics.
u/PotterSarahRN Ohhhh it's a scented valentine's dinasour! That was so unexpected and cool! I can't believe it held its strawberry smell all the way up here and still has it. I love how these cards are so cute and colorful and happy. Since which age kids start celebrating valentine's? When does the “change” happens? The one from gifting friends to actually thinking on flirting and all that. I was familiar with these celebrations because of tv, but it felt so foreign to me, but kinda cool. Though probably I'd be the kid that got the “oh, let's don't leave her out” cards and thingies, because I was such a trouble maker, lol. At least since 4th grade (it it “since” or “from”?? ahhhh someone help me!!), because I had an awesome group of friends till 3rd grade... until puberty hit them and they got so... stange, and since I was in other school, I couldn't keep up with their new interests and dramas. I think puberty hasn't reached me yet in all these decades.lol. By the way, my lil cousin says the card smells nice. I have a dilemma, lol, I freakin love tatoos and I like sticking them into paper and decorating with them, like a hardcore level sticker. But there's also my cousin's daughter that is obsessed with them and she'll get so happy if I paste her a couple. It's funny to see that all these little kids are full of these sticky tatoos, like in summer, since they don't have to take them off for online classes. Makes me feel like I'm already in summer. Ahh, sticky tatoos bring me so many good memories. We got them out of chip bags, mostly, and Chuck n' Cheese prizes and birthday's parties. Because we always got few tickets, so we could only redeem the cheapest things, which were usually tatoos., lol
u/germymany I had to read the “wheelie like you” twice to understand the pun, lol. The croc is so cute! Thank you so much for one of my firsts valentine's cards. It was so fascinating to think kids give each others these type of cards. That's so cute! I actually never celebrated Valentine's at school because that date falls into Summer Vacations, and just between february, when the “recambio de veraneantes” happens, that is, when almost everyone that was on their 2 week vacation, return to their homes and the others that took the other half of the month start theirs. It's chaos, and, since Chile is a loooong huge single panamerican highway pretty much, you can imagine the incredible traffic jams that occurs. So a huge group is stressed out travelling, not caring about it much, and in the many years I dated, I was always far away for that day... and kinda forgot about it? I also almost never had phone signal. How do you used to celebrate it?
u/fashbrownz I got your pretty aquarell card done in February.... very late in the year. Thank you so much. I hope things are doing better there. I still can't send to your country, which is pretty frustrating. We're still in our first wave down here, we managed to flatten the curve and the hospitals never collapsed because the government made the private ones open their doors to help the public system during our critical period, since we're all in this together. We're slowly going back to our normal lives, area by area, and the parameters are very well defined and everyone knows there won't be total “freedom” until a cure is found. But at teh end we're human beings and get tired of feeling uncomfortable, so we'll see. We already were having March panic buying because of the social protests, so it was implemented early on the limit quantity and in some places is still held, because some are still hard to find or the production of them was badly affected. I think I never asked my friends with 7, 9, 10 and 12 siblings how they managed that. This time has taught me to practice patience, which I don't have too much. It's interesting how every country has taken different measures, I sometimes feel like lab rats in a huge global scale experiment. I hope that this make us more humble and we learn from our mistakes and also the others' and copy and improve the best meassures and ideas that have been implemented. I'm dying to send you a reply, can't wait for the post service to open up to more countries.
u/stephanieTay Thank you so much for the xmass postcard with the advent candles. This was my first cold xmass in the northern hemisphere, and was able to smell and see the colors the picture shows, which brings me cozy memories. There was also a washi tape depicting Japanese Christmas cakes. I find it interesting how they also have their own version and traditions of that holiday, like the strawberry cakes.'They look quite yummy! Thank you so much!
u/YESmynameisYES Thank you so much for the Weasley's Wizzard Weezes postcard. Oh boy, I love those twins. I loved whenever they appeared in the books. And I love the quote you put “Oh wow, we're identical!” I couldn't help but smile. I used to be a Potter head, haha. The annoying kind that when the first movie went out I would complain about all the differences. And then I decided I'd never watch a movie again. In my child eyes they felt too dark and... dusty? Though I remember how wowed I was with the first movie trailer. The castle on the outside was cooler than what I imagined (don't get to see castles here at all), but those staircase were a trillion times better and cooler in my imagination, and I actually loved them a lot, I felt so heartbroken in that scene. When I started reading the books, I had just changed to another elementary school, and I had a freckled redheaded classmate, son of a teacher there, that was a troublemaker and had a huge family too, so it was not hard at all to imagine the caotic environment and fun interactions and hardships. The 6th book was so fun with all the Umbridge-related bullying done by the twins. I sometimes had trouble following them, because I read that book in English, and there are soooo many hard and unknown words but at some point I was so mesmerized by the book I kind of pretended I understood it and imagine whatever, lol. I read them all again last year and I was amazed at how different it felt. I could understad so much more after all these years!
u/PoisonousKey Thank you so much for the cute Winnie Pooh postcard. I feel your handlettering is getting better everytime, and it's so pretty! Have you practiced more? I'd love to see how it's evolved by the end of the year! I haven't practiced at all.... I got into a lettering class right before getting locked down and then I got somewhat discouraged after killing 2 brushpens. Well, after all these months locked, I killed many pens, specially my favorite drawing pens. From overuse and daily accidents. It's funny, when my family starts overdoing something, I get discouraged too. They got addicted to buying online, and I culdn't buy anything untill they calmed down. Or after they got obsessed with photography, I could never again take a camera in our family trips, despite how much I like taking pictures. What's the point of having 7 persons taking pictures to everything?? How it can be an archievent to come back with 3000 pictures that are a pain to sort out? Now I wanna try improving my caligraphy again! I just love how you do the “I”'s, I wanna try it now. Funny that in Spanish it's uncommon to capitalize so many “I”s, since it's not an overly used pronoun, haha. Thank you so much.
u/el_azul I LOVE the postcard from the stamp museum you sent me, and love the architecture of the buildings shown, mainly because it's so different from what I've seen in my life (I'd love to travel there some day). I wanna send you a postcard of one of our stamps' illustrators in Chile... as soon as I can send again your way. Unless we do a postcard chain with someone else that is able to send your way... that would be so cool. What you liked the most of that visit? I'd love to visit one some day... sadly stamp culture is dying in Chile.... the gov' puts their friends in charge of these departments, so they're zero interested in snailmail or philately and they're expecting it to die... as the stamp artist told me. She's the youngest by faaaaaar of the colectors that go to the official meetings and releases. Thank you so, so much for going the extra mile and sending me one, I wrote this while listening to Tam Zamani, such a nice peaceful song.... what is it about?
u/theycallmemia I ADORE your space postcard with the saturn pin, I found it such a cool format. I love its colors and everything, thank you so, so much for spoiling me. Do you like pins too? I love them, but I'm still a messy collector, haha. I wanna make something to display them, but I'm a master at procrastinating... I get distracted too fast at practically everything, ouchieeees. It's funny that since this one was not just paper, it went through the packages system and had to cross customs. They put a barcode in the envelope whenever they scan them through the packages system. I might be saying some postal aberration, but my English is too limited, lol. Btw, the doodle you did of yourself is super cute, and made me smile even more.
u/ThriftyRiver “Awww” that was the first thing I said. When I opened your card with a cat in it from Pet Partner's. And “awww” also said my lil cousin who was standing at my back. “Did she made it?” he asked. Oh, haha, other person walked behing me just now and also awwed. I didn't know about the Pet Partner's volunteering program, I think that's so cool! If something alike existed here, it'd give me the drive to fully train my dog and participate. But I'm a lazy loaf that whenever I teach him something, my family think it's cool and over stimulate him and somehow manage to confuse him and then he gets some things mixed up.He's so cute. When we go on our walks he likes running after quails and rabbits, but gets scared of cows. I'd love seeing deers, they must be so cute! Here in the south we have a little type of deer called Pudú, but they're very very shy. Thank you so much for the pancake recipe, I wanna try it out some weekend. Do you like them thick and spongy or thin as crepes? In my house we make them thin, filled with spinach or chicken in a roll and eat them for dinner topped with Bechamel, lol. Chileans don't eat pancakes for breakfast; instead, they like bread with avocado, scrambled eggs, ham, butter or mermelade... or dulce de leche. And coffee. We have tried making pancakes as shown on tv (except that we add dulce de leche... yummy), but we make them small and can't eat more that 2... how could people eat one bigger that the plate?! That's insane! Were you able to? When we've traveled to the US, we've all shared plates with my sisters, and still can't eat them whole. They once sold us a tower of fries at Burger King (actually it was part of the meal thingie), filling a whole tray. It was insane! We barely were able to eat 1/4th of them between 7.
u/MangoMeliss Thank you so much for such the adorable red ridding hood with her doggie. I love it so much. Reminds me of the years I was studying animation. I just love this style. I also loved your adventures in Holland. I'd love to visit there some day! Oh gosh, I just realized, after holding your postcard many times (because I adore it) that those phat kitty stickers are actually these memo paper things! Oh wow, hahaha, I'm laughing so much right now. I'll definetly use a couple to decorate cute things. Thank you so much for the Hello Kitty Valentine's, it makes me think in the little kids at school giving out these. I think that's cute. But do kids only write the to and from? Or they add little messages too? I've never celebrated it, it's fascinating knowing about these things. Also, thank you so much for the adorable washi samps. I'm copying your folding technique for the last bit, they look pretty and it's so practical! Oh, and last but not least (whatever that means, shoot, I need to study more English) I'm in love with the envelope and the Stitch you drew.
u/lonelytwatwaffle My dear waffle, I don't know why your cards took so long to arrive, but I've loved each one of them. I actually felt very touched to get a Christmas card with Mary in it and wishes to have a blessed Christmas. I wasn't expecting it! And it was a lovely holiday, my first ever cold one, away and relaxed, with my family and newborn nephew and not worrying about gifts, meetings, or things that just distract us of what is really important. We also, unexpectedly, met a huge group of spaniards living there and we sang carols in many languages and they stayed till very late and they were so noisy! It was sooo fun. Funny that since my sister came back from her exchange in Spain, she made us listen to villancicos sevillanos all year round, so we knew quite a lot, haha. By the way, I love your jigsaw puzzle ornament, I'll hang it this year. And I also loved the star's mischievous face, it's so adorable. Thank you so much.
u/suzilla10 (x2) Thank you so much for the Fernsehturm postcard. Many years ago I only got to see it from below, I was visiting with a huge group and there was a big parade and the city was chaotic, so the leaders decided to just walk around... a lot! I regret not buying postcards there, they were all so amazing I couldn't decide! So many types and just oh wow. Back then I would send them to myself. So I just spent all my money in cool magnets and yummy food. And still was so hard to pick! Haha. When I opened your surprise adventskalender-karte, all the amazing memories I had in Österreigh came back and brought me such a warm lasting feeling. I don't wanna ever forget those holidays. (Or the laughs I had at the sub the previous days of me searching for stamps like a madwoman while Santiago was getting destroyed by the protests, trying to get before the Germans bought everything). Last month I met the artist who designs the stamps, and she made such a cute one last year, that I obviously never knew its existance. (Well, also my post office, after the germans episodes never got stamps ever again, and she doesn't care at all). I also got to know how caotic is the system and how people who snail mail or collect stamps are seen as pieces of a museum that will eventually die into oblivion if it wasn't for the international groups that put money so stamps get printed. Oh man, I love your card and details so much. The stickers remind me of our many trips to Thalia with my sisters (we don't have anything as awesome as that here) and I would just walk around and dream I was buying everything. I wanna go back to Europe some dayyyy! Thank you so much, I love everything, I get so happy opening your envelope from time to time. I will definetly set up the advent calendar this year. I adored that when I visited in December, all these advent little things and presents, they were so cute and adorable, I NEED to do something like that this year, it brings me memories of my childhood. I used to love Advent. Ohhhh... holidays are looking more and more american here each year, and I just loved the european one so much better... it felt more familiar and authentic. Dude, we're getting malls installing snow machines to make it snow... in summer. Because now that's what xmass is about? Poor overdressed workers. This summer is going to be particularly hot and dry.
u/bananacreampiee Yay! I got your graduation card! Thank you so much! Funny how I would be graduated by now, but the internships were postponed so I technically finished college but need to do that to graduate-graduate... well, I'm not too worried about that, whatever has to happen will happen, I'm glad the worst part is over and the messy thesis is done. Still I can't believe I finally finished my studies... it's been a long and really hard journey! Lol, in my first sememster I visited Italy and met a priest while I was with my hopes impressively down on actually finishing something, so we made an exchange: he was going to pray for me, and if -by miracle at this point in life- I finished, I'd visit him and participate in his volunteering program. And he delivered it seems. For the first time ever I didn't fail any semester, which used to be impossible with my MH. I can't wait to contact him again, but I only remember his first name... and nothing else. And I have a picture with the family that invited us both to dinner (I met him there). I'll have to do some detective work. I still don't know how we managed to have such a deep and long conversation afterwards, he was speaking in Italian and I was in Spanish, and those years I couldn't understand a thing nor let myslef be understood, unless someone spoke Spanish or English.


Pics!
I have quite a lot of replies and exchanges that have remain unsent due to various reasons, so please, I'd be eternally greatful if you fill up my mailing list form. Specially if you've changed your address. C:
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2020.10.12 20:42 jonisantucho Oscar Watch - Post Venice/TIFF/NYFF Edition

Several months ago, right after the last Academy Awards, I posted a long, long, long list of possible contenders that had prospects to fight for the next Oscars. It was a time of hope, of looking forward, and of positivity.
Then, COVID-19 happened.
And now, we find ourselves in a year that may change the movie industry forever, with the lack of safety of theaters in times of a pandemic accelerating the switch of mainstream audiences to streaming and VOD. These are times where some people are beginning to wonder, even after they pushed the eligibility date for two more months, why the Academy doesn’t cancel next year’s Oscars. And in this rocky terrain, we lost many contenders. Fire up the Hunger Games cannons, because these are some casualties of the season (so far).
Launched to 2021: Annette, Benedetta, Deep Water, Dune, In the Heights, King Richard, Last Night in Soho, Memoria, Nightmare Alley, Passing, Red, White and Water, Raya and the Last Dragon, The Last Duel, The Power of the Dog, Tick, Tick… Boom!, West Side Story.
Unknown status / missing in action: After Yang, Blonde, Breaking News in Yuba County, C’mon C’mon, Next Goal Wins, Stillwater, The French Dispatch, The Humans, The Tragedy of Macbeth, The Eyes of Tammy Faye, Those Who Wish Me Dead.
But even if this year isn’t as loaded with clear awards candidates, there are plenty of movies that are already drawing buzz for an Oscar season that started brewing a month ago, with the kickoff of the Venice Film Festival, and will go on for six and a half more months, when the Academy Awards take place on April 25, 2021. It’s gonna be a long, weird and rocky season, which is gonna be great to see in terms of the narratives that are coming up.
-Ammonite (trailer): When people were betting on the likelier contenders of this year, many people pointed in the direction of Francis Lee’s period drama, with previous Best Actress winner Kate Winslet and constant nominee Saoirse Ronan. Going into the premiere at Toronto, people had their eyes set in this queer romance between a paleontologist and a young wife in the coasts of England during the 19th century. But then, some things happened. First, Winslet started her promotion of the movie by talking about her regret for working with Woody Allen and Roman Polanski that sounded unconvincing to the ominous Film Twitter. Then, another queer period drama, Mona Fastvold’s The World to Come, started to take the attention away at Venice. And finally, the movie premiered. The reaction? Cold. Critics came out mixed with the movie, with many of them comparing it negatively to last year’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire, and saying that it’s too dull and alienating. Does that mean that all is lost? Not exactly. While the movie (which, considering the genre, really needs critics' support to get into the Best Picture category) has been dismissed, the acting by Winslet and Ronan has been received positively. Now that so many other contenders have been dropping out of the year, they might get some room to campaign from a (social) distance.
-Another Round (trailer): Speaking of TIFF premieres, a film that had a better time at the Canadian festival was the reunion between director Thomas Vinterberg and star Mads Mikkelsen, who reunited years after making the stirring drama The Hunt (not the one with Betty Gilpin carrying a bad political satire, the one about a Danish teacher wrongly accused of sexual abuse). This time, the material is lighter, being a dramedy about four teachers who decide to test out a theory about how people can live and work a little better if they increase the level of alcohol in their blood. Critics really liked the way the movie dealt with alcoholism, and Toronto audiences made it a runner up for the People’s Choice Award of the festival. In a year without so much exposure from other festivals, this Cannes 2020 selection could make a candidate for the Best International Film category.
-Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (trailer): Surprise, new Borat film! While Sacha Baron Cohen made headlines several times this year because of stunts that people assumed were about a second season of Who is America?, the Internet was shocked when, in early September, it was confirmed that it was actually a very niiiiice return from the journalist character that made him famous, shot during quarantine. In a matter of weeks after the reveal, the sequel got sold to Amazon Prime and got a release date for October 23. Why so soon? Well, apparently the movie, which got him in trouble with Rudy Giuliani and other people, is about Borat taking his daughter on a road trip to give her as a bride to VP Mike Pence. Even if this movie doesn’t manage to achieve the feats of the 2006 movie (which got a Best Adapted Screenplay nomination, let’s remember), it will help Baron Cohen’s image a lot, because it will come a week after his big Oscar play.
-Cherry: While everybody knows them mostly because of their contributions to the MCU, directors Joe and Anthony Russo and actor Tom Holland are trying to branch out together. Now Apple has bought into their efforts, paying more than 40 million dollars to acquire their new crime drama, about the life of former Army medic Nico Walker, who started robbing banks after his days in Iraq left him with PTSD and a pill addiction. Will Holland manage this time to escape from the shadow of “oh, jeez, Mr. Stark” Spider-Man before Chaos Walking or the Uncharted movie come out? That’s a question for another day.
-Da 5 Bloods (trailer): Talk about timing. Merely days after the country was mobilized by the police brutality that continues to divide the United States, Spike Lee premiered his new war drama on Netflix. In a vibrant, disjointed but passionate portrait of four African American veterans who return to Vietnam to search for their fallen leader and some treasure, Lee struck gold yet again with his usual fans, even though the moving of the Oscar ceremony threatened to make it harder to remind Academy voters about this movie. However, with an astounding performance from Delroy Lindo (who is confirmed to be campaigned in the Best Actor category) and a supporting turn from Chadwick Boseman which got reframed with the news of his bravery in life and death, this has what it takes to fight for a spot in the Best Picture lineup.
-Everybody’s Talking About Jamie (trailer): When it became clear that quarantine wasn’t gonna be a breeze, the first movie in consideration wise enough to move a little further ahead in the calendar was this adaptation of the hit West End production about a gay British teenager who dreams of becoming a drag queen and get his family and schoolmates to accept his sexuality. With a release date on February 26, 20th Century Studios (man, it’s weird to not use Fox in that name) hopes to strike gold, with a cast that mixes young unknowns, familiar names (Sharon Horgan, Sarah Lancashire and my boy Ralph Ineson) and the previously nominated legend that is Richard E. Grant (who is playing a former drag queen named Loco Chanelle), now taking advantage of the move of other musicals like Annette, In The Heights and West Side Story. I mean, this has at the very least some Golden Globes nods in the bag.
-French Exit: Before its premiere as the closing film of the NYFF, many pundits were expecting this surreal comedy to be somewhat of a comeback for past Best Actress nominee Michelle Pfeiffer, who here plays a close to penniless widow who moves to Paris with her son (Lucas Hedges) and cat, who also happens to be her reincarnated husband (Tracy Letts). However, the first reactions for the film adaptation of the Patrick deWitt novel were all over the place, with some people feeling cold by the execution of the weirdness and others being won over. Still, everybody had good things to say about Michelle Pfeiffer’s performance, but after the mixed reception to the rest of Azazel Jacobs’ film she really would need a lot of critics support to get anywhere near the Best Actress category. With a release date on February 12, it seems that Sony Pictures Classics is skipping the critics awards, and the distributor has a couple of big competitors above this one.
-Good Joe Bell: Every year, there are movies with big stars that go to festivals full of hope for praises and awards. Some of them work and go on, others don’t and get forgotten about. Mark Wahlberg tried to remind people that he occasionally is a good actor with a true life drama where he plays a father who decides to walk across America to raise awareness about bullying after his son, tormented for being gay, commits suicide. The film by Reinaldo Marcus Green premiered at TIFF, and the reaction was… not great. Some critics defended it, but most saw it as a flawed, baity product starring a man with a history of hate. Still, it got bought by a distributor: Solstice Studios, a new player in the game which just released its first movie, Unhinged (yup, the one about Russell Crowe road raging). While they paid 20 million dollars for Good Joe Bell, it’s clear that this won’t get near the Oscar telecast.
-Hillbilly Elegy: While many movies this year have some level of anticipation, Film Twitter is bracing for this movie in the “is this gonna be the next Green Book?” way. Ron Howard’s adaptation of J.D. Vance’s memoir about his low income life in a poor rural community in Ohio has many fearing about the overuse of tropes involving what’s called white trash porn, but rarely, Netflix has kept silent about this release. Even though it has Oscar bridesmaids Glenn Close (7 nominations) and Amy Adams (6 nominations), the streamer has not even released a photo of the movie, which supposedly will come out in November. And if you want another bad omen, take a look at the lower levels of this list by a familiar voice.
-I’m Thinking of Ending Things (trailer): Speaking of Netflix, did you know that there is a new Charlie Kaufman there, right now? While his adaptation of the dark novel by Iain Reid, seemingly about a woman (Jessie Buckley) who is taken by her boyfriend (Jesse Plemons) to meet his parents (Toni Collette and David Thewlis), got the usual reception of confusion and praise that follows his movies, the release was followed for what befalls most of the Netflix original movies: a couple of days in the Top 10, and then it fell into the void. While Buckley and Plemons deliver great work in this demented, melancholic story, it’s hard to see this movie getting anything else than a Best Adapted Screenplay nomination for Charlie. And that’s a long shot.
-I’m Your Woman: Following the little seen but critically acclaimed Miss Stevens and Fast Color, Julia Hart started 2020 with a Disney+ adaptation of the YA book Stargirl, and now she follows it with a drama for Amazon that will have its world premiere as the opening film of the AFI fest on October 15. In this movie, Rachel Brosnahan hopes to translate her TV success with The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel to the big screen, playing a woman in the ‘70s that has to go on the run with her kid due to her husband’s crimes.
-Judas and the Black Messiah (trailer): Even if this doesn’t end up winning any awards, it has a real shot at being the best trailer of 2020. Formerly titled Jesus Was My Homeboy, this biographical drama by Shaka King tells the tale of two men: Fred Hampton (Kaluuya), an activist and Black Panther leader, and William O’Neal (Stanfield), the FBI agent sent to infiltrate the party and arrest him. While the trailer for this movie promised a release “only in theaters”, we shall see if Warner Bros backs down from that fight.
-Let Them All Talk: While we’re on the subject of Warner Bros, we have to mention what’s happening with HBO Max. While the start of the streaming service hasn’t been good (I mean, there are still people confused about that name) and it lead to some people assume will cause many firings, it has begun to make some buzzed titles on TV, like Close Enough, Raised by Wolves and the remains of the DC Universe failed streaming service. Now, to make a mark in the movie business, the streamer has a new Steven Soderbergh movie, a comedy that stars Meryl Streep as a celebrated author that takes her friends (Candice Bergen, Dianne Wiest) and her nephew (Lucas Hedges) in a cruise to find fun and come to terms with the past, while he flirts with a literary agent (Gemma Chan). While it doesn’t have a date yet, it’s confirmed to release in 2020, and at least we know that it can’t be worse than The Laundromat.
-Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom: While the expectations for the next film adaptation of an August Wilson acclaimed play were already high, the tragic death of Chadwick Boseman made this Netflix release one of the most anticipated movies of the season, considering this is his final movie. While past Supporting Actress winner Viola Davis takes the lead playing blues singer Ma Rainey in this tale of a heated recording session with her bandmates, her agent and her producer in 1927, Chadwick Boseman has a turn as the trumpeter Levee that was already being considered for awards, and now has even more people waiting to see. The thing is that one of the biggest competitions for Boseman this year will be Boseman himself, for his already acclaimed supporting turn on Da 5 Bloods, also released by Netflix. While the streamer will have to decide which of Chadwick’s performances will get the bigger campaign, this film by director George C. Wolfe has a cushy date set for December 18, and Viola is gunning hard for this movie to win.
-Mank (trailer): As you may have noticed by now, Netflix has a lot of plates spinning around this season, and this is the big one. After befriending the service with House of Cards and Mindhunter, David Fincher is going black and white to tackle a script by his late father Jack, about the making of the classic of classics, Citizen Kane. More specifically, the making of the script, with previous Oscar winner Gary Oldman playing the lead role of screenwriter Herman J. Mankiewicz, while accompanied by Amanda Seyfried, Lily Collins, Tuppence Middleton, Charles Dance and Tom Burke. After watching the first trailer of his satire of 1930’s Hollywood (that will release on streaming on December 4), it’s clear that this is gonna be catnip to old Academy voters, and it would be really hard for this to miss the Best Picture line up. Unless it’s a complete cinematic disaster, Mank is bank.
-Minari (trailer): While the last edition of Sundance took place in January, quarantine makes you feel like it took place two years ago. This year, the big winner of the Grand Jury Prize and the Audience Award in the US Dramatic Competition was a dramedy by Lee Isaac Chung, about a Korean family in the ‘80s who suddenly gets moved by their father (Steven Yeun) to Arkansas, to start a farm. Even though the reviews have been great, distributor A24 hasn’t really had a big, Oscar nominated hit for the last couple of years, and the COVID-19 crisis made them delay all their releases. But when we were ready to write this off, a new trailer for the movie came out, confirming that it’s in the game of this awards season. Maybe the pandemic will be of help to A24, considering that one of the reasons they haven’t had success is that they divided their attention into too many releases, and ended up getting not much. This time, they are betting all on Lee who, even if this doesn’t go anywhere, also has a new gig coming up as the director of the live action remake of Your Name.
-News of the World (sneak peek): So much of this year has felt like a game of chicken between a virus and movie studios. While many movies chose to skip this year altogether, Universal remains firm (for now) with its plans to open a wide movie on Christmas Day, with a Western that reunites Paul Greengrass and Tom Hanks in an enticing premise. In this drama based on Paulette Jiles’ novel, Hanks plays a traveling newsreader in the aftermath of the American Civil War, who is tasked with reuniting an orphaned girl with her living relatives. While the first sneak peek of the movie looks promising, the future is still in the air.
-Nomadland (trailer): While the world burns around Hollywood, Searchlight is betting big on Chloe Zhao’s new film. Using the strategy of taking the spotlight while the rest of the contenders is uncertain about how or when to be released, the indie drama began its journey at Venice, with critics raving about the story of a woman (two-time Oscar winner Frances McDormand) who, after losing everything in the Great Recession, embarks on a journey through the American West, living as a van-dwelling modern-day nomad. At the end of the fest, the movie won the coveted Golden Lion. To put that into perspective, the last three winners of the award were past Best Picture nominees The Shape of Water, Roma and Joker, with The Shape of Water (also distributed by Searchlight) also winning the big prize. After drawing critical acclaim following its virtual showing on TIFF and NYFF, Nomadland seems like the first lock in the Best Picture line up. Still, there are obstacles ahead. Will Zhao break the disappointment of the last few years, when deserving candidates for Best Director got blocked by the likes of Adam McKay and Todd Phillips? And will McDormand manage to get near a third Oscar, following a recent win for Three Billboards in Ebbing, Missouri? Time will tell.
-On the Rocks (trailer): While she hasn’t been near the Oscars for a while, Sofia Coppola is still a name that draws attention. This time, she opened the NYFF with a dramedy about a young mother (Rashida Jones) who reunites with her playboy father (Bill Murray, also reuniting with Sofia after Lost in Translation) on an adventure through New York to find out if her husband (Marlon Wayans) is cheating on her. The consensus seems to be that, while light and not near her best work, it’s still a fun and breezy movie, with a very good turn by Murray. While many would assume that this A24 production will disappear into the abyss when it releases on Apple TV+ on October 23, the dropping out of many candidates gives the movie a chance to, at least, fight for some Golden Globes.
-One Night in Miami (sneak peek): Following her recent Oscar and Emmy wins for If Beale Street Could Talk and Watchmen, Regina King is still striking hard, and this time, she’s doing it as a director. For her big screen debut as a filmmaker, she chose to adapt Kemp Powers’ play that dramatizes a real meeting on February 25, 1964, when Muhammad Ali (Eli Goree) followed an iconic win with a hangout session with Malcolm X (Kingsley Ben-Adir), Sam Cooke (Leslie Odom Jr.) and Jim Brown (Aldis Hodge). Opening at Venice, the film received glowing reviews, with many praising King (even though some said that the movie doesn’t fully translate the play to the film medium) and the actors’ performances, especially Ben-Adir and Odom Jr. (who, it should be said, also wrote an original song for the end credits of the movie, which could help his Oscar chances). Amazon Prime is hoping that this is their big contender this year, with plans of a theatrical release on Christmas and a streaming release on January 15. Judging by the praise this got at festival season, it has a chance to go a long way.
-Over the Moon (trailer): In a year with not that many contenders for Best Animated Feature, Netflix is betting on a musical adventure directed by the legendary Glen Keane, a classic Disney animator who recently won an Oscar for Best Animated Short for co-directing Dear Basketball. While our expectations were lowered by the first trailer for the movie, centered around a Chinese girl who builds a rocket ship and blasts off to the Moon in hopes of meeting a legendary Goddess, it’s still safe to assume that it has a shot at being nominated for something. Netflix also hopes that you like its big candidate for Best Original Song, which really, really sounds like a Disney ballad.
-Pieces of a Woman: While this year doesn’t have the amount of surprise contenders that a regular Oscar season usually has, we still have some movies that sneaked through festival season. The first one was the new, somber drama by Hungarian director Kornél Mundruczó, known for the doggy uprising pic White God, and the not-so-well-received sci-fi Jupiter’s Moon. This time, we follow a woman (Vanessa Kirby) whose life is torn apart after a home birth at the hands of a flustered midwife (Molly Parker) ends in tragedy, and then leads to a court battle that also makes her confront her husband (Shia LaBeouf) and her domineering mother (Ellen Burstyn). While the movie had mixed reactions, Kirby had plenty of raves in her direction, particularly concerning her performance during a 25-minute birth sequence that is said to be brutal. That brutality paid off, though, because Kirby ended up winning Best Actress at Venice, and Netflix bought the movie, which also has Martin Scorsese as an executive producer. If the Academy wants to crown a new face in the scene, Kirby is the one who will be targeted, following her acclaimed turn in The Crown and her supporting roles in blockbusters like Mission Impossible: Fallout and Hobbs & Shaw.
-Promising Young Woman (trailer): When theaters started to close because of the pandemic, Universal started the push of their movies going straight to VOD, with titles including Trolls World Tour and Never Rarely Sometimes Always. However, there was a title that was supposed to premiere in April, and then suddenly disappeared from existence. It was the directorial debut of actress Emerald Fennell, who wrote a black comedy with touches of a thriller, centered on a woman in her thirties (Carey Mulligan) whose bright future was derailed by a traumatic event, and who’s now looking for revenge. While the reaction to its premiere at Sundance wasn’t enough to consider a Best Picture run, the twisted performance by Mulligan earned her the best praise since the last time she was nominated for an Oscar, a decade ago for An Education. Now, Focus Features is planning to open the movie at Christmas, and are positioning Carey for a run at Best Actress.
-Rebecca (trailer): When the news came out saying that Ben Wheatley would adapt Daphne du Maurier’s psychological thriller novel for Netflix, many were shocked. Some people considered the chance that this was an awards play by the cult director, who is doing the same work that earned Alfred Hitchcock his only Best Picture win. But seeing the trailer for this new version, with Lily James playing the newly married young woman who finds herself battling the shadow of her husband's (Armie Hammer) dead first wife Rebecca, we have to wonder if there’s a point to the existence of this remake. We will find out if there’s any awards chances for this movie on October 21, when it releases on streaming. Let’s hope that Kristin Scott Thomas has something to play with as Mrs. Danvers.
-Respect (trailer): Every year, there’s one or two actors who announce to the world “I want an Oscar” and campaign like their lives depended on it. Last time, it was Taron Egerton (accompanied by Elton John, who actually ended up winning another Oscar). This year, it is the turn of Jennifer Hudson, who is playing Aretha Franklin in a biopic directed by first timer Liesl Tommy, and who’s hoping that this attempt at awards ends up more like Dreamgirls than like Cats. She has been doing announcement trailers (a year in advance), quarantine tributes, award show tributes, and every possible thing to get the industry to notice that she’s playing Aretha. Hey, Rami Malek and Renee Zellweger did it in the last few years, why can’t she. With a release date of January 15, Hudson wants that gold.
-Soul (trailer): Disney may be the studio that suffered the biggest hit because of the pandemic. Their parks are a loss, most of their big productions had to stop because of quarantine, and theaters in many parts of the world are closed. After the failure of Tenet for Warner Bros. and the experiment of the mouse house of charging people 30 dollars to see Mulan (which didn’t work at all), many wondered if Disney was gonna delay the new production by Pixar, written and directed by Pete Docter, who brought Oscar gold to his home with Up and Inside Out. The movie, which centers on a teacher (Jamie Foxx) who dreams of becoming a jazz musician and, just as he’s about to get his big break, ends up getting into an accident that separates his soul from his body, had a lot of promise, but the speculation of lost money was also a concern. Finally, Disney decided to release the movie on Christmas, but only on Disney Plus, causing another failure for theaters, but assuring that Disney at least can get more subscribers to its streaming service. And the movie? Well, it just premiered at the London Film Festival, and the critics are saying it’s Pixar at its best, with praises going from the look, to the script by co-director Kemp Powers (who also wrote the play of One Night in Miami, so he has many chances for a nod), to the score by Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross and Jon Batiste. That means that it’s already a top contender to win Best Animated Feature, and this may not be the only category in which the movie is gonna get nominated.
-Supernova (trailer): If there’s a theme this year in terms of Oscar contenders, it might be dementia. One of the examples of this is a small road movie directed by Hairy Macqueen, which premiered to good reviews at the San Sebastian festival. This drama centers on a trip taken by Sam (Colin Firth) and Tusker (Stanley Tucci), partners for 20 years, who travel across England reuniting with friends and family, because Tusker was diagnosed with early onset dementia. While usually the big awards role is usually the one of the person who suffers the illnesses, some reviewers are calling Firth’s work as the supporting companion some of the best of his career. With Bleecker Street buying the rights for a US release, this is a little film that could still make some moves.
-Tenet (trailer): For the first five months of quarantine, the big narrative in the world of film was “Christopher Nolan is gonna save cinemas”. But after postponing the release of the mind bending actioner for months on end, creating big demands and expectations to theater owners, and finally releasing as the sacrificial lamb of Hollywood, Warner Bros ended up seeing the opposite effect. Even though Tom Cruise loved to be back at the movies, critics didn’t share enough excitement to make a spy movie that goes backwards worth the possibility of dying of coronavirus. The audiences didn’t show up as much, and those who did attend, mostly complained about the sound mixing and the plot. After all the sacrifice, it’s highly unlikely that Tenet goes beyond technical awards. Let’s start the “Travis Scott for Best Original Song” campaign now, before it’s too late.
-The Boys in the Band (trailer): The Ryan Murphy blank check for Netflix has been interesting to follow. On the one hand, we have his new TV shows, which go from not existing (The Politician), to alternate movie history that doesn’t know how alternate history works (Hollywood), to a challenge of how much TV will you stomach if Sarah Paulson and other middle aged actresses are campy in it (Ratched). And now, we are seeing his producing hand over the movie side, which starts with the new film adaptation of the cult play from 1968, which was already a movie in 1970 and recently jumped to Broadway in 2018. The cast from the recent Broadway production (which includes Jim Parsons, Zachary Quinto, Matt Bomer and Andrew Rannells) stars in Joe Mantello’s movie, telling the story of a group of gay friends in pre-Stonewall New York who reunite for a birthday party and end up revealing a lot of open wounds. While this movie got good reviews from critics, it kinda disappeared without a sound after beginning to stream on Netflix at the end of September. Unless the service wants to campaign for Golden Globes, this film is lost in the algorithm.
-The Devil All the Time (trailer): Another September release on Netflix was the new psychological thriller by Antonio Campos (Simon Killer, Christine) who didn’t manage to continue his streak of intense and terrifying character dramas with his messy adaptation of the dark novel by Donald Ray Pollock. Wasting a cast that includes Tom Holland, Sebastian Stan, Robert Pattinson, Mia Wasikowska, Eliza Scanlen, Bill Skarsgard, Jason Clarke and Riley Keough, this twisted period piece managed to stay for a while in the Top 10, but the reactions from critics were mixed, and audiences were busy asking what was happening with Pattinson’s Southern accent (which with The King makes two years in a row, baby). The many prognosticators who had hopes for an awards play moved on a while ago.
-The Father (trailer): It’s safe to say at this point that Anthony Hopkins is a lock for a Best Actor nomination at the next Oscars. After its premiere in Sundance, every prognosticator pointed in his direction, and for the next few months he swept praise for his harrowing portrayal of an old man grappling with his age as he develops dementia, causing pain to his beleaguered daughter (recent winner Olivia Colman, who also got praised). Sony Pictures Classics will make Florian Zeller’s adaptation of his acclaimed play its big contender of the season, using Hopkins (who this year got a nom for The Two Popes) as a starter to also get Colman, Zeller and the movie nominated.
-The Human Voice (trailer): And speaking of Sony Pictures Classics, it’s almost safe to say that they have another Oscar in the bag this year. That’s because they just bought Pedro Almodóvar’s short film, his English-speaking debut that is an adaptation of the play by Jean Cocteau. In his version (that was acclaimed by critics after premiering in Venice), Tilda Swinton plays the woman waiting at the end of a phone, expecting to hear from his ex-lover who abandoned her. Considering how the competition for Best Live Action Short Film has become somewhat lacking in the last few years (I mean, have you seen Skin), this should be an easy award to win, especially considering how beloved Almodóvar is in the Academy, which nominated him this year for the great Pain and Glory.
-The Life Ahead: While we’re talking about legends, it’s time to talk about Sophia Loren. 16 years after her last leading role in a movie, the Italian icon returns with a drama that was bought by Netflix, who plans to campaign for her as Best Actress and for the movie in the Best International Film category. Directed by Edoardo Ponti (who is also Sophia’s son), this movie centers on a Holocaust survivor who takes in a 12-year-old boy who recently robbed her, in a contemporary adaptation of Romain Gary’s novel The Life Before Us. Netflix has set a date for November 13 to release this movie, and the campaign seems to be about the narrative of seeing Loren winning another Oscar 60 years after she won her first one for Two Women, by Vittorio De Sica.
-The Midnight Sky: Based on the novel Good Morning, Midnight, this collaboration between George Clooney and Netflix is once again making us ask one thing. Are we gonna get the director Clooney of Good Night and Good Luck, or are we gonna get the director Clooney of Leatherheads, The Ides of March, The Monuments Men and Suburbicon? Let’s hope he breaks his streak of blandness with this sci-fi story, which makes us think a little bit of Gravity: A lonely scientist in the Arctic (Clooney) races to stop a group of astronauts led by Felicity Jones from returning to a devastated Earth. With a release set for December, we have to hope that this is more than some Top 10 filler that will evaporate from existence in a week’s time.
-The Prom: In probably the biggest blank check of the Ryan Murphy deal with Netflix, this musical he’ll direct is based on the Tony-nominated show about a group of Broadway losers (Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman, Andrew Rannells and James “boo” Corden) who try to find a viral story to get back in the spotlight, and end up going to a town in Indiana to help a lesbian high school student who has been banned from bringing her girlfriend to the prom. While it’s clear that this December 11 release is gonna sweep the Golden Globes, the emptiness of this year compared to others could clear the way for some Oscar nominations, including Meryl and the obligatory original song added to a preexisting musical for easy clout.
-The Trial of the Chicago 7 (trailer): When it was announced that Paramount was selling Aaron Sorkin’s new movie to Netflix, some people saw it as a studio dumping a failed awards vehicle to be forgotten. However, the excuse that Sorkin wanted to release this movie before the US presidential elections seems to be true, because critics really enjoyed his old school courtroom drama, centered around the trial on counter cultural activists in the late ‘60s. Everybody praised uniformly the huge cast, that includes Sacha Baron Cohen, Eddie Redmayne, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Jeremy Strong, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Frank Langella, William Hurt, Michael Keaton and Mark Rylance, which guarantees a SAG awards nomination (but makes it difficult to decide which actors will actually get nominated for Oscars). With a reaction that brings to mind the days of A Few Good Men and is the best reception he got since his Oscar winning script for The Social Network, the film faces a couple of hurdles. First of all, it got positioned as the frontrunner in the Best Picture race by some people, which instantly puts a target on its back. Then, we have to consider that the movie releases on Netflix this Friday, October 16, which makes it the first big contender this year to face the world, and which in these times of lockdown will probably make the reception to Marriage Story and The Irishman from last year look like a walk in the park. I mean, there are some people who aren’t swayed by Sorkin, and for good reason.
-The United States vs. Billie Holiday: While Paramount was quick to hand The Trial of the Chicago 7 to Netflix, there’s another movie that the studio kept to play in the upcoming awards season. This biographical drama follows the life of another famous musician, Billie Holiday (Andra Day), and we see the journey of her career in jazz as she is targeted by the Federal Department of Narcotics with an undercover sting operation led by Federal Agent Jimmy Fletcher (Trevante Rhodes), with whom she had a tumultuous affair. While the movie counts with a screenplay credit by Pulitzer winner Suzan-Lori Parks, the big question mark is the film’s director, Lee Daniels, who hit it big with Precious and then had results that were disastrous (The Paperboy) or financially successful, but not awards-wise (Lee Daniels’ The Butler). However, Paramount trusts in this movie, and with a release date on February 12, they want to make a splash.
-Wolfwalkers (trailer): While the attempts by Apple TV+ to establish themselves as a player in the TV world go from trainwrecks (See) to forgettable (The Morning Show) to eventually great (see Ted Lasso, everybody, this is not a joke), their plans to make a name in the film business have something to do with this year’s Oscars. While Cherry can come or go, they have a solid contender for the Best Feature Documentary with Boys State, but their big dog this year is the new movie by Cartoon Saloon, an Irish studio responsible for the acclaimed The Secret of Kells, The Song of the Sea, and The Breadwinner, all of which were nominated for Best Animated Feature. This time, Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart direct a story about a young apprentice hunter who journeys with her father to Ireland to help wipe out the last wolf pack. But everything changes when she befriends a free-spirited girl from a mysterious tribe rumored to transform into wolves by night. After getting critically acclaimed following its premiere at TIFF, this is a surefire contender for this year’s Best Animated Feature category, and Apple is gonna parade it before its streaming release on December 11. Also, while you watch that, you could watch a couple of episodes of Ted Lasso, too. It’s a really good show, it’s all I’m saying.
Anyways, that’s all the news from the last few months of festivals. No matter what happens next, this is gonna be a long, long, long race.
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2020.09.25 18:42 BeardyGoodGuy [B/S]+ Our full story

I'll start off saying that I'm not a great writer, but we wanted to share our story after reading other's stories here. Memories are a bit hazy here and there but we 3 agreed on the contents of this story. Hope y'all like our story, enjoy.
My youngest sister was ... and I was ... when we started exploring eachothers bodies, a year after our parents got divorced. Not in an overly sexual way. We'd play games with eachother and the game that set it all off was: Doctor... We had this toy doctor kit and it had everything a doctor needed. The thermometer was used mostly, because when we got a fever our mom used to take our temperature, so it was the only one we knew. The key to how it all started, the thermometer. First we hold it over our clothes onto eachothers butt. After some time I asked my sister why we used it the wrong way, we were, after all, medical experts. We started to insert the thermometer in eachothers butt, like we knew. It only took me one time to wonder why my sister had two holes, so I stuck it in her pussy. She had said that it wasnt how it was done.
I think it took about a year, for our mom to find out what we've been up to. We weren't really punished, we we're just told that it's not a thing kids should do. We stopped using the thermometer. We had seen everything of eachother and we're curious like kids are, so we started inspecting eachother. How it looks, feels and smells and how the skin interacts when touching it. Still kind of innocent at this point.
We kept on exploring eachother upstairs, after dinner, not really moving further than fingering. Our mom must have expected something because she checked in with us often, but that didn't stop us. My sister was always wet when I'd start to touch her, I learned that inserting my fingers and moving them would make my sister whimper. It was always a nice, wet and warm pussy. First couple of times I fingered her I never really knew what I was doing, but she'd make sure her little brother would pleasure her. She told me what felt good and I eventually made her cum everytime I would finger her.
Almost every time I got a mad boner from my sister's gentle touch. At the time I didnt really know what I should do with that feeling, but my sister did instictually. She kept stroking untill I came for the first time I remember, I was just ... years old. I remember that I didnt shoot any cum then, but my cock throbbed so incredibly hard. Because of how much our mom would check on us during playtime, we'd move it around and we'd start fucking around when the other was showering. Our mom never checked in during showertime, I think because I should be sleeping when my sister was in the shower.
My sister had figured out that she could cum from putting her clit under the faucet. She told me later that she wanted to wash her pussy and that she'd try using the faucet, but instead found out that's a great way to cum. She would turn on the shower, get it to her desired temperature and switch over to the faucet and lie on the floor. Now the faucet was 1,2 meters up from the floor. She'd turn the water down to the point the stream would brake before it hit her clit. Having that water fall on her clit made her squirm so hard. I watched her with curiousity and observed how her clit danced under the water stream falling down. It made me hard seeing her get off like that.
My sister told me to try and put my cock under the faucet like she did and see what it does. I did as she'd suggested. It did make my cock hard, but nothing close to orgasm. However, I knew that the part where my foreskin connects to my cocks head meet was very sensitive, so I'd try to use the shower head, turn it to the 5 stream airated option and have it shoot onto that sensitive part. I came after 15 minutes. My sister impressed with the improvisation, she'd sit down on the floor next to me and wanted the showerhead. I denied her the control, saying I'm your little brother let me do it for you, her orgasm was harder than previous one. It turned me on, but that was short lived, because we heard mom downstairs.
We kept going at it at least once or twice a week, depending on how closely we were watched, till we were ... and .... Our parents split the holidays between them. During that years summer holiday we had found a porntape in our dad's VCR, it was called Muchos Grassy Ass or something. A poolside gangbang, with a lot of girls giving handjobs, blowjobs and swallowing a lot of cum. We saw what they did in that porn video and in the coming weeks we'd mimick everything we saw. Our dad never checked in on us, he'd just what we were doing or when dinner was ready. He left us playing upstairs. Little did he know what was up. When we were at our dad's we'd play almost entire days and after having seen that porn... We'd start taking it further.
My sister would start sucking my cock, I'd eat her pussy, we'd kiss with tongue and masterbate eachother like we had seen them do on that tape. No penetration yet. This went on for almost every day for that summer holiday, sometimes we we're playing card games with our dad and his wife. When we got home we'd went back to our old routine, with added extra things we could do. My sister would try to get me to cum by sucking my cock when I would be brushing my teeth. I remember only one time that I came in her mouth like this, most times she'd stop because there were other siblings coming upstairs or mom.
Next year, our parents bickered whom should get the kids this summer. Our parents asked us, I said I was okay with both, my sister on the otherhand said she wanted to go to dad. When she did she looked at me with a expecting look I had seen before. So I sighed and said, sure if sister wanted to go I'd join her. Dad told her we'd go somewhere cool, that's also why she said she wanted to go to dad I learned later that summer.
That summer we went on a trip to Paris and Disneypark. The days before we left, we were having eachother every night. Dad and stepmom never checked in with us. Not even when we screamed or anything. We kept our ears open even though we thought we did nothing wrong. Ever since I had cum when I came since I was almost 11 my sis would swallow all of it, everytime. I made sure I eat her out just as often or more. The days at our dad's just sent this in hypermode since we were never checked. At home, our mom kept closer watch.
So the night before we would go to Paris for the summer holiday I came a ton in my sisters eager mouth. She always said she liked how it tasted and that it was only fair because I was her little brother. After I came for a 3rd time I was sore and said it was enough. I still wanted to cum more but my cockhead was too sensitive. She sucked it so well all the time. So i decided it was her turn. I ate her out, finger fucked her, she was so wet and her smell drove me crazy. We went to bed at 6, right after dinner claiming we needed to rest for the long journey(4 hours, lol). We did all the above till 11 something... I was going crazy because of my sisters pussy. Totally sex drunk my sis and I didn't hear my dad come upstairs. He opened the door and I crawled from under the blanket. Thinking this was it.
My sister claimed she had lost her earring and I was helping her find it. My sister, most clever girl knew how to lie and convincingly too. My dad said, we'll turn the bed over tomorrow and we'll find it, I'm sure. We said okay and went to 'sleep'. Our dad snores very loud. So we kept going till I busted a 5th time, a very small bit of cum, my sister sort of disappointed, but still licking as much as she could. I got her off I don't know how many times. The room smelled musky. My stepmom said the same. We claimed it was hot and we sweated alot. No questions asked. Beds both very wet with our sweat, hehe.
We were woken up at 5 am. We slept in the car. My sister kept fondling my parts with her feet. I was annoyed, I wanted to sleep. Dad said to stop annoying eachother, my sister stopped only to scowl at me with a pouty face. I got to sleep the rest of the journey. Finally we arrived in Paris. Dad had 2 rooms booked, 1 for him and stepmom and 1 for my sister and me. They said it was 2 seperate beds, but it was a single doublebed. We hid our excitement well. Dad was angry, but said he didnt care, it was what it was. We got the only key to that room. We shared the bathroom with the room of our dad, so we locked it and hid the key, saying the key wasnt there. My dad ever practical said to come to our door in the morning and you can come in through our side. Great thinking dad. We think that he was done with hotel services, dont know what else was fucked up. We walk through Paris, we eat, at 8pm we were in the hotel and dad said he was tired, we saw him grab our stepmom's butt. So we didn't complain much. We started fake fighting a little so dad said go to your room. We gave him an out on us and by doing so we create our own space. We argued that wasn't fair we wanted to stay up with them. He said no. We angrily got to our rooms. Or so dad thought. We undressed real fast, closed the curtains. Air-conditioning on full cuz it was going to be hot. We got busy like animals.
Licking and sucking and fingers and all of it. She was doing her very best, doing new things with her tongue and fingers. I asked where she got that from and said from another tape she found of my dad. I disappointedly asked why she hid it from me, I'd want to learn new things too. She looked at me all mischievous and stopped, my heart stopped thinking I'd not get any anymore. Bit she leaned back, started rubbing, pulling and pinching her nipples and clit. While looking at me all intense like. She show me how wet she was and told me to come get it, little brother, it's yours. My dick sprung up. I got so hard from that.
I crawled to her and smelled her tight slit, the smell is indescribable. I start to lick her while shes widespread sitting with her hands behind her leaning back. She'd moan my name and guide me to what she wanted me to do. Yes little brother lick my clit, put your fingers in me, you know the spot to hit. So I tried to do the same with my tongue as she did earlier to me. I was so in trance with her body, smell and taste that I started low moaning while sucking on her clit. That was a success, my big sister came like she'd never. The amount of pussy juice drooling down her pussy, amazing! I licked it all up, I love her taste.
She took my head and pulled me up for a kiss, with tongue. I'm not sure what this is and I just try to hug her tongue with mine. We stay kissing like that for a while. She pulls away from me and pushes me back so I'm on my knees and my hands behind me leaning back just like my sister a little while ago. My dick poked up with some pre-cum on the tip and a string of pre-cum where it had already leaked. She kissed me again and stroked my cock, licked the pre-cum off. Smiled at me and asked me what I wanted most of her to do. I told her I love it when you give me a handjob, finish me in your mouth and show me how much you love to swallow me. She does.
After that we were glistening from sweat even though the airco was on. Maybe it wasnt on or the settings were wrong. Who knows. We're spooning, I started stroking my sisters hair, kiss her neck and glide my hands over her body next to mine. Teasing her nipples, softly squeezing her tits, caress her stomache and cup her pussy with my other hand. I whisper in her ear, I love you. I can feel her heartbeat going faster, she turned her head to try and look me in the eye. She pushes herself into me and moves her hips. Is that true, she asked me. I nod, whisper yes, and nozzle her neck, taking in her sweaty, musky smell. I kept her pussy cupped in my hand and with the other hand i cupped a breast.
My sister pulled my hands of her and I let her go completely. She sits up and puts her hands on my chest and says to relax and lay down. With one hand on my chest and one on my leg she used her mouth on me again. When I was rock hard again she said did you REALLY mean what you said? I hold her hand that's on my chest, nod and said yes. She asked do you trust me? I just nod, my heart racing and drumming in my ears. She straddles me, looks me deep in my eye and asks me if I'm ready.
My cock is real close to her warmth and wetness I can feel it radiate. I nod the smallest nods. She moves back a little, halfway my cockhead she holds there. She looked so sexy then, I wanted my sister so bad! We looked deep in eachothers eyes, our hands intertwine which she hold above my head. Slowly backing up her hips, I feel her slide over my cock. Her pussy so slick and warm. It is the best I've ever felt. I can feel all of her around my cock. She cums for just that and her orgasm feels like her pussy hugging my cock. Our breathing is shaky from pleasure and nerves.
When my sister hilts me, she kisses me deeply. I make smallest thrusts using my hips. She moans the hottest moan. Our hands stay intertwined and she pulls herself forward. I feel her pussy sliding up. I move my hips to stay in, but my sister says no, Ill do it little brother, stay there. I stop my moving, enjoying the sensation, kissing my sister again. I hold her hand and move one on my chest, she lets go and my free hand goes to her hip. She opens her eyes when I'm almost out of her, she looks at me and gives me the sexiest smile. We sync our breath, she nods and I know what she wants to do. She pushes down, my hand on her hip pushes her down too. She speeds up, both hands go to my chest. I play with her tits and clit. She bends over and says to lick her nipples.
My sister pushed down so slow, her pussy envelops my cock and hugs it so tight. My cock is throbbing, we both feel eachother. Again and again, I feel my cock get harder and my balls tighten. My sister must have felt or seen my face, she pushed down hard the last time, making me go balls deep I thrust with my hips to go as far into my sisters tight, warm pussy. She repeatedly whispers yes yes yes. Cum for me little brother she said as she pushed down for the last time, I thrusted to her pushing down. We came together. I came hard and deep and kept hip thrusting into her pussy. My sister wanted to lay like that with my cock in her pussy. She laid on top of me and I felt myself ever so slowly shrink inside her. We kissed and she said she was glad and asked me if I was okay. I nodded. Couldn't talk. That was night 1 in Paris. I dont the time we went to sleep, we woke up with her still having a pussy full of my cum. We got up and she used a little wipe to get most of it. We went to our dad's room, I asked my dad if he had the map with the routes he wanted to walk. I covered my sister so she could go into the shower.
During that week I came so often in her pussy and mouth it's crazy. A week and a half passed by real fast. We walked routes with our dad and stepmom by day, we had dinner and we'd see how late we'd be excused to go to bed. We were quite often already tired at 9 after dinner. But once in bed, we'd not be able to let the other sleep before they had came one way or another. I fucked my sister's pussy so often and came deep everytime. She feels amazing! In hindsight I asked Andrea yesterday, why didn't she bleed the first time we were together. She laughed and said I think I took my own virginity by fucking a big dildo she'd found in the house. Up to this day we don't know whose it was.
The last night, of this insane holiday, we found out that our dad had ordered xxx channel. The next morning he'd get the news that both rooms had the channel and both rooms watched. I was watching tv because I couldn't sleep and stumbled upon it, and watched it. Andrea confirmed this and said she took the remote and stopped me watching. My dad was so proud of his little girl stopping his perverted son. If he had only known. The name of that movie escaped us. But we saw a girl getting fucked in her ass. Andrea, told me she wanted to try that too. Not lying when I say I was scared.
She starts me up and sat doggy like the girl on TV. She said good that dad ordered this channel and that it must be a mistake, I didn't listen. I just wanted my Andrea. I put my dick to her ass and tried to push in. I said it wasn't going. She said push harder. It hurt, I stopped. She said I could try and lick her first like before. So I do. It wasn't planned so I'm not sure if sour is the flavour you should get licking ass, but I'm not a quiter. I wanted to give it to her when she was face down ass up. I lick like my life depended on it. In hindsight it is only good that she went toilet before bed... She squirms and moans softly I shouldn't delay.
While I'm getting ready I keep an eye on the screen. I see the girl push back. And the guy finger her ass. So I copy and tell Andrea to to do like her. Again I set my dick against her ass and push, I feel her push back and I'm in. Andrea yelps and says it hurts, but it also feels good. I ask if I should stop and I move to get out and she takes my arm and says no I want you to have me like that. Without any thought I spit on her ass and she slowly moves so I go in deeper and deeper. It feels weird, but good.
She quivers and says I can try to slide in and out if I want but do it slowly. It takes all my effort to not just go, I wanted to have her like that guy in the movie had that girl. She comes. Asks if I'm close. I says I'm not. She says she wants me to cum. She wants to feel me throb in her. I spit again and slide in and out faster and push her into the bed, she goes prone and yelps hard into the bed. I say sorry, she says no it's fine. I feel her anus contract. I ask if she came and she says yes now you little brother. I give her some more slow balls deep thrusts and I come the hardest in all my life. I retract and caress Andreas back. She's panting so hard. I ask her if she's fine. She nods.
After it all we went for a quiet wash, hoping not to wake our parents. We take the key to the shared bathroom and I go check on my parents. They're not there. Now I know that they were out for drinks, enjoying music downstairs in the restaurant. We wash up fast, she walks a little funny. Maybe that was me. We go to bed, we spoon and fall asleep. We sleep for a couple hours and see our dad and stepmom the next morning at 8am so we can go have a shower.We go back home and have 2 more days of sex filled insanity, never being checked. The holiday ended and we had to go back to mom's house.
A couple of weeks after the Paris trip our stepbrother found us in bed, we said we're fucking. But he didn't think we did because he just saw out faces. A few days after we were playing truth or dare with our stepbrother. So I said truth and he asked me if I have had sex, I said yes and he said liar. I'm not a liar I told him and got quite upset that he called me a virgin. I don't know why I got upset, probably because I was scared to prove it. My stepbrother's turn and he said truth. My sister asked him if he would tell mom and his dad if my sister and me fucked in front of him. He said no. My sisters turn and she said dare. My stepbrother and I said in unison: fuck your brother / fuck me. She said we would do it under blankets. Stepbrother said sure. I got on bed already hard. My sister removed my clothes and I removed hers while protecting our modesty I guess. It was routine for us by that time. I lie down, she moves on her knees over me and guides my cock to her pussy... She lowers herself over my cock and I thrust my pelvis up. He saw out faces while fucking, kissing and our climaxing. He got up, laughed and said we were great actors. Nothing happened after that from him knowing what we did/do.
We keep at it as many times as we can. Interchanging BJ, HJ, sex... Never was scared until I got the memo that women can get pregnant, I wasn't think about all that. I thought she'd be with child for sure. So much cum I shot in her pussy. I almost died. I asked Andrea if she was on BC and it was all good, she was already on the pill at this point for over a year. When I can I still keep her pussy, mouth and rarely her ass filled whenever Andrea wants me to.
Somewhere around Xmas that year there was a girl that fancid me in school so of course I'd say yes to her and have her over at our house. Alexandra is her name. She made Andrea jealous and Andrea was angry with me for sometime. She stopped speaking with me and I didn't get to make love to her for some months. Being pent up like that I jerked it more often than normal. I did get agitated more because of not getting my sister's sweet pussy.
Some time went by, started having fun with my gf Alexandra. She must have wondered why I knew what I knew. She asked me if I had sex before and said yes. She asked if she knew her and I said yes. She asked for a name and I said I couldn't tell her her name. She accepted. We moved slow. She wasn't like my sister at all. Mostly because we didn't see eachother as much as I saw Andrea and I had to use a condom. But we progressed. So after those 2 months I already established sexual relationship with my gf, I was less agitated and Andrea finally started talking with me again. One day mom was shopping, Andrea pulled me upstairs, didn't say anything, till we were in the attic and she asked me how could I do that to her. I said I never loved Alexandra, I do now, but I wasn't going to do anything with Alexandra. Not untill Andrea stopped talking with me and stopped having sex with me. Andrea was crying, I tried to console her and said I could break it off and just blame myself for it and we'll continue together.
Andrea walked away without saying one more word. Slowly she acted normal around me. We got back to talking and stuff. She got a bf, he dumped her later on. Andrea cried, I was the only one she kind of found solace in. With Alexandra it got better and better. Found more time to be with her and she started to be more adventurous like my Andrea was. It was somewhere during summer holiday where I had turned 15 and Andrea 17. Alexandra was over at my place. My mom had found a man to date and she was gone to see him, she entrusted Andrea and I with the house. She left money for food and the cabinets were stocked. My other siblings already had left the house (army, summer job, own home)so I had all the space and time I wanted with my gf. I had planned a week of fucking her silly. Day one: mom left early, gf got here around midday, played games with Andrea and then got upstairs to watch a movie. I put on Dirty Dancing cuz my mom said that was a good film. Indeed it was. Before the begin credits were done we were kissing and she pulled my clothes off and I just pulled down her leggings and panties. Gotta love dresses.
We start getting heavy and I notice the house is too quiet for my liking. My gf licking my cock made me forget that thought fast. Later I learned Andrea had been watching us. Alexandra was allowed to sleep over after we forgot the time while fucking. I think her dad suspected something but her mom said it was fine. Day 2: wake up, stroke my cock, wait for gf to wake up, rail her some fierce. Get food. Play on PlayStation. Go to swimming pool with gf parents and Andrea could come with. Nothing fancy at night much to my dislike.
Day 3: Alexandra's parents drove us home yesterday so... I had to wait for Alexandra. We had breakfast Andrea and I. We talk about playing boardgames later. I ask her for some privacy later when my gf walked in through the backdoor. Alexandra kissed me and talked girly stuff with Andrea. All good. We played several boardgames, Alexandra teasing me under the table. I stretch and yawn, tell Andrea I'm go upstairs and watch a movie, maybe take a nap. Alexandra got the hint. So with Alexandra I had to use condoms which is asked my oldest brother to get. Alexandra isn't on birth controle. Only 2 condoms left, I kind of panicked, just 2?! Oh well it's 2 more, cross that bridge when we get there, maybe I'd buy them myself this time. I start feeling Alexandra up, kiss her neck and whisper in her ear that she is the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. It always took a bit of tender time and effort to get her ready. I rub her feet and back using directions I found in a book I found in my brother's room.
I eat her pussy, she tastes like musk smells I guess, very animalistic. I love it. Find her g-spot and make her a sloppy mess. She gives me a blowjob, I'm enjoying myself, that's when I hear floorboards creak. I turn a bit to see the door slightly ajar. Did I leave it like that? Again it was too quiet, Alexandra sucking me off hard now because I wasn't paying attention. I ignore the door, but see something flash in the gap. That's when I knew it had to be Andrea. That got my heart racing. Was she watching us? Did she want to join? Many months went by so I thought she wouldn't want me anymore.
I make Alexandra stop and have her turned sideways to the door and I sit legs wide open but straight on the bed so if she was looking Andrea would have a clear sight of my cock. I told Alexandra to lie on her stomache sucking me off like that. She always pulls her feet up and opens her legs lying down on her stomache. Now Andrea must be able to see it all I thought. Some time goes by I hold Alexandra's ponytail and guide her up and down. I set the pace. Slow slow fast slow slow slow fast fast. I hear or see nothing so I thought it was just my imagination. We continue for a bit before I cum in her mouth I put on a condom have her bend over the edge of the bed legs as wide apart as she can. It's a tall bed, I can perfectly insert myself standing behind her. Lust takes over and I push myself in deep, thrusting harder and harder. I didn't hear Andrea open the door and come in, neither did my gf.
Andrea was behind me and slowly hugged me from behind, I stop for the smallest second wanting to say something. Andrea holds her hand over my mouth thrusts her hip against mine making me fuck my gf. She whispers in my ear that she couldn't take it anymore. Her second hand moved to my balls and she plays with them while keeping me moving. She whispers: a condom? Why not cum in her? My gf moaning, never looking up or back never knew what happened. Andrea took my hand and made me feel her wet pussy. My thrusting got harder. Alexandra is almost screaming. Andrea tells me to fuck my gf, but to pull out and take the condom off before I come to feed Andra my cum. Andrea wanted my cum in her eager mouth. She got down next to my gf's leg dangling over the edge of the bed. I feel a rush coming, I give 2 more slow deep thrusts and I'm coming. I pull out, pull the condom off, Andrea takes my throbbing cock in her mouth and gives me a wink while she does, she has smiling eyes. Before Alexandra is any the wiser I keep her there and finger her hard, still cumming in my sis's mouth. Greatest moment at that point, pure bliss.
Andrea swallows it all, Alexandra didn't notice anything. Andrea gets behind me, strokes my cock and whispers want me to eat her pussy? I'm rock hard instantly. I want to say yes, but don't know what will happen. In my sex drunk stupor I say yes, eat her pussy sis. I pull Alexandra a little over the edge. Andrea gets down on her knees between Alexandra's legs. Eating her. I take the image in and can't believe this is happening. Alexandra is coming hard, I don't know how much. Andreas legs are open so I go to the floor and lick her juices up. She grabs my hair after a few licks and motions no... I couldn't think straight and the only option I saw was Alexandra's mouth. I walked to the other side of the bed and moved to Alexandra. Her eyes closed climaxing, grab her hair and pull her face up, she opens her eyes, mouth opens and starts sucking my dick. I could see the confusion in her eyes. She stopped sucking only to cum again and turning around seeing Andrea. Im sitting on my knees on the bed, Andrea between Alexandra's legs and Alexandra is lost for words.
Alexandra pushed herself up and tried to speak but I pushed her towards my cock. She didn't object and sucked me hard. I motioned Andrea to come over here. Alexandra watching her move closer. I think my sis got the idea and lay down next to Alexandra. I grab her hair too and pull Alexandra off to have Andrea continue the work. Alexandra got up rubbing her pussy. Still in disbelief. I told her to eat my sister's pussy. She looked at me, at Andrea. I took her hand and put Andreas hair in her hand. I asked Andrea to spread her legs so she could be reached. Alexandra moved my sisters head up and down, like she knew I liked. I kissed my gf. My gf let Andrea go and started to move away. I stop Andrea have her turn on her back and get to my gf. Having seen my dad's tapes I knew what I wanted. Have my gf eat my sister. Andrea stayed still. I whisper to my gf I want her on her hands and knees. I enter her and push her to the edge of the bed and Andrea came closer. My sisters pussy smelled great and was soaking wet. I start eating her pussy and my gf looked away. I said it wasn't fair for my sis she made you cum, you got to return the favour. Thus we both ate my sisters pussy. Almost forgetting I didn't have a condom on I look at my sister, she knows that face. I pull out of Alexandra and she watches as I pour my seed in my Andreas eager mouth, swallowing it al.
Alexandra was uncomfortable after, so we got clean and talked alot. She didn't think this was okay, but she did enjoy it. I told Alexandra we didn't have to do it anymore, but Andrea came in naked and said she wanted to continue. She wanted more. I turned to Alexandra thought she'd be gone now. To just stand there and see her be doubting, what to do? My sister took her hand and pulled Alexandra to her. She whispers something in her ear, and Alexandra smiled. Up to this day they refuse to tell me what was said. But she nodded. Dropped everything she had gathered and crawled to me. My sister shot me a wink and sat on the bed opening her legs wide. Alexandra now on her knees before me said I should eat my sisters pussy if I wanted to. I must have looked like a deer in headlights. I moved to my sister and smelled that amazing pussy. I got to town and when I did Alexandra took my cock in her mouth.
So went by a couple more days. Till my mom got back. The last day was spent doing laundry and all that. Now we talked more about what we liked with us three. Alexandra eats pussy but only because it delights me. I do it all, because I like it all, Andrea wants me as much as possible, she does anything to make her little brother happy. We told Alexandra how it started. She didn't seem bothered anymore at that point. She had loads of questions though. We answered as well as we could. In the end I get to fuck and eat my sister and my gf. We made arrangements. Alexandra isn't a fan of swallowing so my sister does it all. If my Andrea isn't here, Alexandra will. I get to eat, finger and fuck both my girls, but they'll share me equally between eachother if both are present, basically I get used.
Now that has been years ago. Alexandra is now my wife. We don't want kids and don't have any. Maybe later? We still have sex with my sister, we want to daily, but agendas aren't always compatible. Sometimes I just fuck my sis. My wife will call and ask me if I'm cumming in my sister again and that I should save some for her. It's turned into a crazy triangle where we all 3 are super happy. Nobody knows but us 3. Some might expect something but probably not that I'm cumming in my sister that often. My sister never has or had boyfriends, just her little brother, claims she doesn't need another. My sister is still jealous of Alexandra, but I make sure she gets a little more attention sometims. Alexandra's sex drive isn't as high and she's fine with Andrea getting a little more sometimes. Alexandra even edges me to go to her.
Edit1: format
submitted by BeardyGoodGuy to Realinceststories [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 18:38 burninginfinite I am 31 years old, make $117,000, live in Northern VA (DC suburbs) and work as a Management Consultant

Content Warning: Dieting (intermittent fasting)

Section One: Assets and Debt

Section Two: Income

Section Three: Expenses

Day 1 (Sunday)

9:30 am : SO and Dog are still asleep, so I read in bed until SO wakes up. We have sex (Dog is not pleased) and then he gets up to work out while I keep reading. He basically bought a home gym when COVID started and at first he thought it might be a waste of money, but it’s actually proven to be a good purchase.
11:55 am: I’ve been intermittent fasting a bit to balance out my WFH snacking habits. I try not to eat before noon, but I’m starving, so I eat a small snack a few minutes early. Water our balcony plants, refill the bird feeder, then shower and perform my skin ritual. I scale this up or down depending on my plans for the day, but I have time and I was lazy last night, so I do all of it. I just added bakuchiol and I’m excited to see how it works. (Double cleanse with Hanskin Pore Cleansing Oil and CeraVe Facial Cleanser, then: Trader Joe’s Rose Water Toner, Amara Vitamin C Serum, TJ’s Hyaluronic Acid Serum, Handmade Heroes Bakuchiol Booster, TJ’s Eye Cream, Klairs Midnight Blue Calming Cream, and La Roche-Posay Anthelios 60 Ultra Light Sunscreen Fluid.)
1:00 pm: We have a Very Lazy Dog who never wants to take walks, but we drag him out before driving to meet a friend for a 1:30 brunch reservation. When we arrive, they’re behind and seem to have no idea when our patio table will be ready. My friend K brought her dog (yay!) but that means we can’t sit inside, so we have to wait. She’s a little shy and anxious (the dog, not K) but I brought her some treats, which she eats without hesitation.
1:55 pm: Finally seated! K’s pup keeps getting tangled under the table begging for more treats. K and I have drinks (SO doesn’t drink on Sundays so he has a soda) and we split some brussels sprouts as an appetizer. Avocado toast for K, a burger for SO, and avocado eggs benedict and two sweet potato pancakes for me (SO eats the potatoes that come with my benedict). We split the check, but SO takes mine before I have a chance to see it. He and I try to keep things relatively even, but we mostly just trust it’ll wash out in the end. He likes to pay when we go out but I usually buy the groceries. (We’re more disciplined about splitting big purchases.)
4:00 pm: Pit stop on the way home for SO to pick up more vape pods. He’s been planning to quit for a while, but his work has been super stressful lately and he keeps pushing his quit date back. I try not to get too annoyed about this – I know he’s trying and quitting sucks.
7:30 pm: I wake up from an ill-advised nap. We finish last night’s leftover sushi for dinner and watch the first Harry Potter movie. My friend Venmos me $163.71 to pay me back for a group purchase I placed a couple weeks ago and I immediately transfer it to my bank account.
10:00 pm: SO likes to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10 because he gets up so early to work out, but I usually stay up later reading. Tonight, I actually have to catch up on some work that’s due first thing in the morning. Working in bed while SO and Dog snore next to me weirdly helps me focus (because I want to join them!).
3:45 am : That took longer than I thought it would! As I’m shutting down, I randomly remember a few things I need from Amazon. I’ve been trying to shop more responsibly, which means not using Amazon Prime. But a week ago I needed some stuff quickly and they offered me a monthlong free trial, so now I’m on an Amazon kick. I’ll cancel before the trial ends and then I won’t re-up for probably a year or so. I buy some mask brackets to try while working out, broom and mop grips for the utility closet door, some washcloths, and the next size up of a sweater I ordered and liked but was too small (I’ll return the other one this week). It takes a while to fall asleep (shouldn’t have napped earlier!). ($82.62)
Total: $82.62

Day 2 (Monday)

7:45 am : I wake up to the sound of SO ironing his shirt for work. He says he overslept (guess he missed his workout) and rushes out the door. I kiss him goodbye, get dressed, drink a glass of water, and log on to my computer. I check last night’s document one last time and email it to the client.
10:30 am: I take a break from work to pay my credit card bills, which are all due around the same time. ($1,100) I use a modified avalanche method – I make minimum payments rounded up to the next hundred, then I pay proportionally more toward higher interest balances. I know it’s not as cost effective but seeing significant progress toward all my balances is reassuring. I’ll make a second payment at the end of the month on my highest interest cards with however much money I have left over. Scrolling through Facebook, I see that the animal rescue where I got Dog is doing a fundraiser for vet bills for a sweet pup who needed emergency surgery. It makes me sad – I go snuggle Dog for a minute (who is still snoring in bed and is not happy about the forced snuggle time) and then make a donation. ($107.20)
12:30 pm: Made it to noon (and beyond) without eating! I was really hungry around 11:45 but then I got distracted, so here we are at 12:30. I microwave some leftover pork shoulder that I roasted last week and eat it with honey mustard. I have so much admiration for people who actually make meals for lunch. I mostly just cobble together whatever I have.
2:00 pm: While filling out this MD, I realize I can’t remember if I’ve paid the property tax on my car yet. I panic briefly because I can’t find the letter they sent, but then I remember I can look it up on the website and… I have not. Today is turning out to be expensive! ($110.22)
4:45 pm: Our engagement photoshoot is in a month and I’m starting to stress about what to wear. The COVID weight gain is so real (and I haven’t been working out like I used to). I buy an oversized sweater I’ve had my eye on that will hopefully be cute with skinny jeans (if any of them still fit me) and vow to return it if it’s not perfect. ($33.91) Then I walk the dog, who is just now getting out of bed and asking for attention.
6:45 pm: SO gets home! On Mondays I take a late workout class, so I get to see him before I leave. I toast an everything bagel and eat it with cream cheese while we chat about our days.
8:00 pm: Class! I asked one of the women in my class to make me two masks, which she brings me tonight, so I Venmo her $20.
9:45 pm: Get home from class completely wiped and am grateful to find that SO walked Dog before I got home so I can basically go straight to bed. (Dog never wants to go outside but he has yet to learn to use a litter box, so…) He’s asleep before I finish washing my face and I’m not far behind – out like a light by 10:30.
Total: $1,371.33, but at least most of it was bills.

Day 3 (Tuesday)

7:45 am : After hitting snooze once, I hop in the shower to wake up. Dog watches me do my skin routine from the bed, looking very annoyed that I’m up. SO texts me to walk the dog early because it feels like fall today, so I drag him outside after I’m finished with daily standup. This involves bringing the leash up two flights of stairs to leash him in bed before coaxing him down the stairs and out the door.
10:00 am: Our client has been migrating their document repository to a new system and there is evidently some confusion over who is supporting which migration effort. Everyone is calling all of the projects “System Migration,” so this honestly seemed inevitable. I spend a good chunk of my morning sorting this out so I can tell them confidently that we are not involved with the one they’re asking about. When I’m intermittent fasting, I routinely get hungry at 10am but I drink a glass of water and try to power through.
12:30 pm: Lunch! I heat up the rest of the pork and steam some veggies in the microwave. One of the most annoying things about SO is that he’s always craving delivery of some sort, even if I’ve planned a meal, so fresh produce often goes to waste in our house. I haven’t totally given up yet, but thank god for frozen veggies.
1:00 pm: I feel like this is going to sound like a ridiculous purchase, but here goes: SO’s favorite pen company is dropping a batch of limited release pens at 1pm (noon CT). I set an alarm and am refreshing the website repeatedly by 12:59 because SO has been coveting these pens for ages and last time they sold out in about 10 minutes. I have to start over when someone buys the pen I picked as I am checking out, but I manage to snag two– one as an anniversary gift for SO and one as a Christmas gift for my dad (anyone who knows me will tell you I really do start my Christmas shopping early – gifts and acts of service are my two big love languages). A few minutes later, the pens are all gone. ($403.86)
2:00 pm: We trained Dog not to rush the door when he hears the doorbell by giving him treats and now he RUNS to the treats whenever the doorbell rings, which it just did. I toss him a couple treats before retrieving the packages at our door. The sweater I ordered on Sunday is among them and although it fits better, I realize it’s too sheer, so I pack it up with the rest of my returns.
5:15 pm: I resolved to start Chloe Ting’s 2 week shred program today, but the 13 minute HIIT session leaves me totally wiped and feeling very out of shape. (Dog didn’t help – he was VERY in the way every time I got down for anything plank adjacent.) I skip the ab video and leave a little early to drop off my return at the UPS store before class.
8:00 pm: Out for drinks with two friends from class. It’s late to be eating but I also don’t want to drink on an empty stomach, so I order a wrap and take home the half I don’t eat. The fall cider I’m drinking is delicious. I order two crowlers (canned draft beer… well, cider) to take home. ($57.96)
Total: $461.82

Day 4 (Wednesday)

7:30 am: SO wakes up on the wrong side of the bed because he overslept again. I help him get out the door, walk the dog, then get on standup (I’ll shower after). I feel like I didn’t sleep well last night and my Whoop recovery score reflects this – only 31%.
11:00 am: My company closed one of its offices a while back when one of our big contracts ended, and they’re trying to get rid of all the furniture, which has been in storage ever since. I’ve been working at SO’s old kitchen table and a kitchen chair since we moved in May, so I drive the 30 minutes to the office to see what they have. It’s also really nice to see a bunch of my coworkers in person who I haven’t seen since COVID started or even before that. I wind up with an office chair, a mat to go under it, a whiteboard, and some assorted office supplies. The smallest desks they had were still too big for my home office (which is also our guest bedroom). Guess I still need to buy a desk after all. It’s 1:30 by the time I leave, so I stop by Panera for lunch on my way home: you-pick-two with half a chicken salad sandwich and a small broccoli cheddar mac and cheese. I also buy a lemon cookie for me and two chocolate chippers for SO (his favorite). $17.23
5:30 pm: SO texts that he’ll be home a little early! Dog will be thrilled (and me too, of course). I waffle about doing Chloe Ting Day 2 because I am extremely sore from class Monday and Tuesday, but I do the HIIT video and SO arrives home just in time to save me from doing the abs videos.
7:00 pm: I bake some chicken thighs brushed with TJ’s Honey Pale Ale Mustard and garlic and steam some veggies for dinner. SO doesn’t really like chicken, but he says this is good and has three pieces. Victory! I file this recipe away in my head. (I like to say he’s the pickiest adventurous eater in the world. He doesn’t like pasta/noodles, cheese, or chicken, but he loves the stuff that lots of picky eaters won’t eat: seafood, especially sushi, and all kinds of international cuisine. It’s nice having a partner who is always up for sushi night, but cheese boards and family style sides of mac and cheese are a challenge. I really hope our kids don’t decide to emulate his eating habits.) We walk the dog after dinner.
9:30 pm: Because my recovery last night was so bad, I resolve to go to bed at the same time as SO tonight… but he’s still asleep by the time I finish my evening skincare routine. In bed by 10.
Total: $17.23

Day 5 (Thursday)

7:45 am: I hit the snooze once because our neighbors woke us up around 1:30 blasting music and I didn’t fall back asleep for almost an hour. Still, I feel fairly well rested and my Whoop recovery is 83% (yay!). Do my morning skincare, drink some water, get online for daily standup, and I’m greeted with the news that my return has processed, putting $140.57 back on my card. (I’ll count this as a $25.43 credit for this week since one item I returned was the sweater I bought Sunday – the rest was from earlier purchases.)
10:00 am: It’s a light morning, so between emails, I spend some time bringing my new office furniture upstairs and organizing my desk area, then browse Ikea for a new desk. A new desk would also be motivation to finally unpack the last of the boxes, which all live in my office (the other rooms of the house are pretty much unpacked).
12:00 pm: Lunch! The half wrap from Tuesday night is a little soggy but still good. I eat that and then wander down to the garage to scrounge up the second half of my lunch from our deep freezer. Half of the freezer is my lunch stash – things I love but SO won’t eat. Pierogies sound delicious but I don’t have the patience to cook them right now. Instead I grab a box of TJ’s butter chicken and pop it in the microwave; I’ll mix in last night’s leftover veggies. While I wait for that to heat up, I mix some yogurt with salt and set it in a strainer to make labneh, then grab a resistance band and do some lateral band walks across the living room – my knee has been acting up lately mostly because I have weak, lazy glutes. The smell of food finally gets Dog out of bed, so I eat at my computer and then take him for a walk.
2:30 pm: My 2pm meeting ended very early and I have packages! My Soko Glam order from last week is here with some sheet masks, a new serum, and a pore control mask (my mascne has been horrible since I’ve been wearing a mask to work out lately). The sweater I ordered Monday also arrives. I try it on and like it, but I can’t decide if it’s too baggy. I snap a selfie to send to some friends for second and third opinions about whether I need to size down.
5:00 pm: I enter one of those “win a wedding dress” sweepstakes. I normally never enter these, but since I’ve been wedding planning I’ve been entering them like crazy. I know the chances of winning are so slim, but still. I briefly consider a Chloe Ting workout (I really should) but since I have class soon, I skip it.
8:00 pm: Done with class! I’ve been on a hunt for the best masks to wear while working out (that don’t make me feel like I can’t breathe). The studio owner makes the best ones I’ve found yet. I buy 3 for $40 from him. I pick up Chipotle (SO ordered ahead) and stop for gas on the way home. ($23.50) We eat while watching Space Force (a burrito for him, a burrito bowl for me, half of which becomes my lunch for tomorrow). Steve Carell’s character is just a different version of Michael Scott, but it’s mindlessly entertaining. Dog has to be dragged outside for a walk because it’s raining.
9:30 pm: I shower and do the Acsen pore control mask that arrived today. It’s a little tingly and smells really nice. Finish up my skincare and sleep nice and early again – I’m out by 10:30.
Total: Net $38.07 ($63.50 with a $25.43 credit)

Day 6 (Friday)

7:00 am: I wake up early today. SO is out the door before 7:30 and Friday standups aren’t until 9, so I squeeze in the HIIT video, then join an 8am stretching class my friend teaches on Zoom (this is “paid” for by my staff membership at the studio).
11:45 am: It was a very productive morning and now I’m ravenous. I start scrounging up lunch so I can eat right at noon before another meeting marathon begins at 12:30 which will last until 5. Leftover Chipotle and pita bread with labneh with olive oil and za’atar.
4:45 pm: Finally done (a little bit early)! I have a small bowl of ice cream as a Friday reward and watch a little Netflix. SO said he was going to try to leave an hour early from work today, but my money is on him leaving like 5 minutes early.
5:50 pm: I take Dog for a walk (he has literally been sleeping all day and hasn’t made so much as a peep). SO texts that he’s going to be late because of some last second drama at work. Sigh. Well, I guess now I have no excuse not to do some Chloe Ting. I do an ab video and a lower body video.
7:30 pm: SO gets home and immediately announces he’s going to work out, but sprawls on the bed with Dog for a while before getting a move on. I’m a little annoyed because I was looking forward to having dinner and spending some time with him, but his workouts usually take about 1.5 hours, so that would put dinner at probably close to 10pm (way too late for me, even if I wasn’t intermittent fasting – I don’t know how he eats a full meal and then goes straight to bed). Honestly, lately I feel like we aren’t spending much quality time together (scrolling on our phones next to each other doesn’t count) and every time I suggest an activity, he just wants to watch TV instead. I also get the news about RBG passing away and now I’m just extra sad. I watch a movie in bed and am half asleep by the time SO finishes his workout and comes upstairs.
Total: $0

Day 7 (Saturday)

8:45 am: Alarm goes off. I take 2 classes on Saturday mornings, so I roll out of bed and start getting ready, but SO derails me wanting to talk about last night, and we have it out. I struggle to explain that it’s not that I don’t want him to work out or that I don’t support his goals – it’s just that I would like him to prioritize me and our relationship at least as much as he does his workouts. We end at a bit of an impasse (with me crying, because I cry at everything) and instead of going to class, I take a drive to calm down. Driving up and down the GW Parkway with the windows down always makes me feel better.
11:30 am: I buy SO Starbucks as a peace offering and head home. ($6.05) When I get there, SO apologizes and promises to make more of an effort to do things with me that aren’t just laying on the couch watching TV. He suggests that we go out for a late lunch/early dinner and do a little day drinking, and that we can have a zoo outing tomorrow (plus he’ll work out while I hit the studio for class).
2:00 pm: After our respective workouts, we both shower and then walk the dog together. Then we go to the restaurant across the street, walking to take advantage of the good weather (and so we can both drink). We sit outside and split calamari and a dozen oysters. I have a steak salad with peaches and gorgonzola, and SO orders crab cakes. We each have two drinks and I take dessert to go (SO does not share my sweet tooth!). The check is around $170 (pre-tip); SO pays and we walk home.
7:00 pm: We watch a movie on the couch and keep drinking. I’m excited to crack open the cider I brought home the other day. After the movie, we take Dog out for a quick walk and then head to bed. Before going to sleep, I make a $107 donation in honor of RBG to be split between several Senate campaigns.
Total: $113.05

Weekly Total: $2084.12

Food & Drink: $81.24
Fun & Entertainment: $0
Home & Health: $117.19 (I’m counting masks here)
Clothes & Beauty: $33.91 (Net – $25.43 bought and returned)
Transport: $23.50
Other: $1,828.28

Weekly Reflection

All in all, I feel like I did ok this week. I spent more money this week than I expected – that being said, looking at how much of this week’s spending was in bills and donations, I’m not too upset about it. The pens were an unexpected and big expense, but I was going to have to buy those gifts eventually, so again, not too upset about it. (The cost is probably in line with what I’d normally spend on an anniversary gift for SO. The pen for my dad was a little more expensive than what I’d normally buy for him, but I know it will be a special gift.) Going out has also been an uncommon occurrence lately, but it felt good to be social again, and I would much rather spend money on going out and spending time with people than spend excessively on stuff.
I’m definitely a spender, which (as you can see) has gotten me in trouble in the past. I’ve been doing better lately and I’m also very good about returning things that don’t work out, especially now that COVID has increased my proportion of online shopping vs. in person. This week was also a little unusual because we didn’t buy groceries and SO picked up the bill every time we went out. (For reference, we went grocery shopping on Day 8, which I paid for. That came out to about $200 between Costco and the supermarket and will last us about two weeks – we buy in bulk when it makes sense and freeze what we won’t use immediately. That bill is on the low side because we just restocked the freezer within the last month.)
I guess one thing I’ve thought about a lot while doing this MD has been how SO and I split expenses. I personally think it’s pretty fair – he might spend a little more than I do in the end, but he is also the one who always wants to order delivery, so I don’t feel too badly about that. I realize this week wasn’t a great snapshot for demonstrating an even split, but I’m curious to know how it came off to you all as readers and your thoughts on splitting expenses with an SO without having to split every bill right down the middle and Venmoing each other all the time (there’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but it’s not how we work).
submitted by burninginfinite to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.09.05 22:14 SuperSnowman1010 After 5 years, I find out he doesn’t like my favorite sex positions at all (the pillow...) *UPDATE- I GAVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM*

Well, this escalated quickly. This wasn’t the initial plan, but I’m not going to complain about the progress.
Here is my original post for those of you that are interested: https://www.reddit.com/DeadBedrooms/comments/ibgxyn/after_5_years_i_find_out_he_doesnt_like_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
TL;DR from ORIGINAL post and subsequent comments that I have been able to follow-up on (with a few extra tidbits): I’m 30s HLF married to a 30s LLM. Married 7+ years, together 12.5 years. We were both PIV virgins on our wedding night. Before we got married, we were all over each other (hands and/or mouths for both of us, passionate flirting and kissing) at least once daily whenever we were together (we didn’t live in the same city for most of our dating/engagement life). HOWEVER, our DB has been going on our entire marriage. At our best (extremely rarely) we are intimate 2x/week. And our worst (relatively often) we are intimate 1x/3 months. Over the last few months, we have averaged about 1-2x/month... About 2 weeks ago, I found out that hubby HATES my favorite positions (we only have done about 4-5 positions EVER, and we really only do 2 of them- missionary and girl on top- but for these positions I LOVE having a pillow under the butt of the person who is on bottom— deeper penetration. Yes the little intimacy we have is VERY vanilla, but I’ve been taking whatever intimacy I can get for our entire marriage regardless of how blah it is to me). Why is this a big deal to me? Because we have been using the pillow for 5 years! And he never told me he didn’t like it! This led to post #1. I asked him why he doesn’t like it and he said it is “uncomfortable” -doesn’t hurt him AT ALL, just is uncomfortable. He compromised one time and said if he can adjust it himself and position himself on the pillow, then he would try it. It was fine, but I could tell he still wasn’t a fan based on the faces he was making (he still came though for the record).

TL;DR for THIS post (yes I know this is still long, but just wait until you see the novel below!!!). We have had a shitty few weeks since my original post. I have been super nice, accommodating, and available to my hubby for WHATEVER he has needed or may need over these last few weeks to help us get over these shitty things that have happened. I check-in with him daily about how he is feeling, what I can do to help, etc. I have not been pressuring him about intimacy AT ALL, mostly because he verbally told me that he isn’t in the mood when he is upset, sad, stressed, etc (I’m the opposite of course, but I was really trying to be respectful of his feelings and what he needs). The problem: I have gotten NOTHING from him in return during this time. And I’m not only talking about intimacy- he hasn’t asked how I’m doing/feeling, what he can help me with, etc. and no, there hasn’t been any intimacy either (again, I was trying to be respectful).
Wednesday 9/2 he was being an ass and I just snapped. A really bad snap. I called him out on the fact that he hasn’t ONCE asked how I’ve been doing with all the shitty stuff we have been dealing with, and it is not ok for him to continue treating me like crap (the way he speaks to me), that he cannot keep demanding so much from me and giving me little to nothing in return, and I told him I was done with everything and I gave him an ultimatum. Like THE ULTIMATUM. The ultimatum was: we WILL be doing couples counseling, if you refuse we will have an open marriage, and if you refuse then I will be cheating on you. Or we will be getting a divorce. Those are your 4 options. I am VERY CLOSE to cheating on you and I’ve had opportunities. I’m not saying this to be mean or anything, but you need to understand the seriousness of our situation. He said he would “make a deal” with me that if by next Friday (9/11) our intimacy isn’t GOOD, not just better (he made sure to specify this), then he agrees to do couples counseling with me.
We were intimate Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday since I gave him the ultimatum. Our sex life is not good yet, but it’s a start. And honestly, unless something drastic happens in the next week, which is unlikely based on how the last 3 days have gone... we will be doing couples counseling. We NEED it if we are going to try saving our marriage, so we can BOTH work on our crap individually and as a couple.

If you’re still reading, I appreciate you. And if you choose to reply, regardless of a good/bad/ugly reply, I appreciate you even more. I am still new to this sub but I truly believe that being as descriptive and open as possible with each other is one way we can try to get through our DBs together.
Since my first post, my husband had a really shitty week at work (a lot of projects, presentations, etc. that he had procrastinated about). Monday evening of his shitty week, his car stopped working on the freeway (yikes)- thankfully he was able to pull partway onto an off ramp before it completely died. Car is going to cost over $4,000.00 to fix and it’s 12 years old. We aren’t doing that, so we need to get a new car. But we can’t look for a new car because of his shitty week at work. So he takes my car and I walk to work (I live about 1 mile from work, so this is TOTALLY FINE with me- and between hubby and my employer, if the weather is crap, then I’m able to get a ride home- I’ve been lucky in the mornings so far with no bad weather, but my employer has offered to pick me up in the morning whenever I need a ride- yes I am EXTREMELY lucky to have such an amazing employer 🥰).
We get to relax at the end of his crap week. We were intimate 2 days in a row- PIV Friday night and oral Saturday morning/afternoon. We both came both days. While this sounds great, we fought both times, he kept edging me both times (not on purpose, he doesn’t know what edging is so I’ve been trying to explain it to him) and the second time I had to “force” myself on him for like 20-30 minutes before he said “ok we can go to bed”... he was hard nearly the entire time I was doing this, but he would have rather been at his computer reading about news and sports, or playing games (no I didn’t ask him if this was why, because this is what he does in his free time... and what he did immediately when we were done with oral on Saturday). I was literally on my knees BEGGING him to let me suck his dick and he was still resisting... even though he was hard... I hate that I was forceful, and I told him (during the coming ultimatum talk) that it felt pretty rape-y to me and I did not like it AT ALL. Yes I know he is my husband, but rape can still occur in marriage. It just seemed like a really sticky and gross situation to be in, at least that’s how I felt before/after. I do not know how he felt about the forceful oral yet- I will be talking to him about it over the next week or so and will report back to you all 👍
So we had a decent weekend, but towards the end, our older dog started acting a little funny (her health baseline was not good but she was stable- she was essentially on doggy palliative care/hospice care until she showed us ANY signs of pain). We don’t have kids (yet..) and we treat our dogs like they are our children. They are the loves of our lives and they are important members of our family. Well, when hubby got home from work on Monday afternoon (so exactly 1 week after the car drama started), our pup kept falling when she walked, needed help getting up when she fell, couldn’t walk straight, her eyes were wonky, and she was leaning to one side. Hubby didn’t let me know how much she had declined in the few hours that had passed from when I left for work on Monday afternoon and when he got home from work Monday afternoon. Since we had started talking about our intimacy issues over the weekend, and I didn’t know our pup had a huge decline, I had tried something new and sent him some sexy pictures for when he got home from work and I was still at work. He never responded. I was hurt but thought “whatever, he didn’t like them, he never responds to sexy texts anyway so it is what it is.” He then called me at the end of my shift really upset about the pup because she was not doing well. We thought, and the vet later confirmed, that she definitely had some kind of neurological event. He apologized for not responding to the pictures and acknowledged that I was trying something different and spontaneous but that he was too upset about our dog to do anything about them. I told him that was ok and that I understood, but did ask him gently (without being mad or nasty or anything) if he liked the pictures. He said yes. (PHEW 😅)
The pup was better on Tuesday, and the rest of the week, but still not her normal self. Still always our happy girl, but still not her normal playfulness and other mannerisms. She wasn’t giving us ANY indication of pain, but it couldn’t have been comfortable for her to be falling and being unable to get up independently. So we took her to the vet and we ended up putting her down on Sunday 😭😭😭 we were both distraught, but my husband hasn’t been handling it well at all. I have done my fair share of crying and being upset, but I also like to look at the situation that we gave her a great last few years of life (we adopted her as a senior dog a years ago) and that she is not longer in any discomfort and (possible/probable) pain. He understands this, but has still been in a funk and has been super mopey these last 2 weeks (so pre- and post- putting her down).
So needless to say, we have had a rough few weeks since my initial post, and as I said before, I have been very patient, understanding, not pressuring him or asking him to be intimate AT ALL. ZERO initiating or being suggestive or eluding to something or anything. I have been masturbating A LOT for me. And I mean A LOT. Essentially every day, sometimes multiple times/day, and almost always for like 1+ hours per session. Usually while he is home, but not always (and timing is not to be mean or throw it in his face or anything, I just tell him I’m going to relax and take a shower, and both of those things are true. He doesn’t ask why I was busy for so long, he doesn’t check on me, and I don’t throw it in his face). I was going to continue to do this, for him, to give him the time he needs to grieve and process. I was not going to be initiating ANY intimacy for probably another few weeks at a minimum. During this time, I continued checking-in with him daily about how he is doing, how did he sleep, and if there is anything I can do for him/ ANYTHING to help make him feel better (no innuendos intended- I’m talking like do some laundry so he doesn’t have to, go buy him a treat, play a game, etc. OBVIOUSLY if he wanted anything sexual I would be all over it in about a nanosecond, but that’s not him so I don’t bother getting my hopes up). I have also been working really hard to remind myself to tell him at least once daily that he is handsome/sexy/etc. (something neither of us are good at).
During this time, he has not asked me how I have been doing emotionally, if there is anything he can do for me... nothing. And I lost my job at the end of June due to COVID (I started a new part time job right away- the same week actually) and it was really hard for me to lose that job. And he hasn’t checked-in with me about losing my job either. I have anxiety and depression, am on meds for both, and he really doesn’t EVER check-in with me to see how I am doing regarding ANYTHING. I’ve been in therapy before, but he always refused to go with me, so after 9 months I stopped going.
Our love languages are different. If you can’t guess already, my top is physical touch (if I had to guess my second, it would likely be quality time). His top are words of affirmation and acts of service. I bought us the book and workbook to go through together almost 3 years ago after we had a big talk about our DB. We have done nothing with them and he has still never taken the online quiz. I have asked about both several times over the last 3 years. Since the talk 3 years ago, we have more open communication about our DB, but the DB hasn’t improved much.
In order for him to MAYBE want to be intimate with me, and MAYBE is the key word here, I have to eat right, exercise, lose weight (these 3 to be healthy, not to look a specific way, so I don’t take offense to this because I should be healthier... but he doesn’t do great with these things either and should also be doing them...), keep the house spotless, NEVER have any piles or stuff/ small messes in the house, be polite, acknowledge when he helps around the house, walk the dogs daily, and not raise my voice or yell. Among other things. Meanwhile, all I want from him is regular intimacy. Ideally, daily. If I was being honest, I would like it multiple times/day. I know that this is likely not realistic for us, and daily might not be either... so I would even settle for 4-5x/week. Doesn’t always have to be PIV- I’m good with hands, mouths, come up behind me while I’m cooking and grab my tits, when you walk by me in the house (or in public..) give my ass a nice smack or pinch, hop in the shower with me and help me lather up, reach around me and rub my pussy while I’m doing laundry, come mount me on the couch with a good makeout session with some clothes-on penis/vagina grinding... I’ve told him that quickies are fine and I can get myself off later... just give me SOMETHING other than 1 peck on the lips!!! Give me intimacy, don’t do stupid shit to be in bed, and speak nicely to me (aka don’t be an ass or a sarcastic ass; regular sarcasm is good and appreciated).
And BTW, I am NOT ALLOWED to talk to ANYONE about our personal life, especially our sex life. So I have had to try navigating this mostly on my own (some friends know certain things, my bestie knows mostly everything, but he is very unhappy about this).
My yelling: he does stupid shit to me when we are being intimate and has been doing it since the beginning of our marriage. Examples are playing drums on my arm/back and gently (but awkwardly) open-palm slapping my back and then awkwardly jiggling his hand on my back. He also will almost smother me in a non-sexy bear hug type position where it is very difficult for me to move and sometimes difficult to breathe. I have been asking him to not do these things the entire time we have been married. My mind has never changed about any of them. One of them, if not all of them, happen almost every single time we are in bed. I have asked him to stop calmly, he doesn’t stop. I have gotten pissed and raised my voice/yelled for him to stop, he shuts down and then even though HE wouldn’t stop when I asked him to stop doing something, it is still MY fault, 100%, because I yelled at him. He is very capable of doing normal and sexy/sensual touching. When he is grabbing my tits, he does a delightful job. When he isn’t doing stupid shit to my arm/back, his caress is good. I have brought this up ad nauseam. These things literally make my skin crawl and I want to punch him in the face when he does them, and he knows that. I’ve tried allowing him to do them a few times in the past and I just can’t- they won’t ever be ok with me.
When we were fighting in bed a few weeks ago, when he was doing stupid shit to me in bed, I brought up AGAIN to please stop doing these things. I have been telling him for 7 years and he doesn’t “follow directions” (yes we fight about semantics too because when I say he “doesn’t listen”, he argues and says that he did listen, he just didn’t follow through on stopping the action that I asked him to stop 😠🙄). He point blank told me that it doesn’t matter that I have been telling him for 7 years that I don’t like these things because he doesn’t EVER think about them.
So I have to jump through all of your hoops at all times to maybe, MAYBE get you to be intimate with me, and I have to make sure to be calm and not yell when we are in bed and you choose to continue doing stupid shit to me even when I have asked you to stop, but you don’t ever have to think about the few things I ask you to please not do?! I was PISSED. I did not bring it up right away because I knew the fight would just get worse, followed by no intimacy for several weeks+, so I decided to hold my tongue at that moment in hopes that we could talk about it soon when we weren’t already in bed.
So I think we are caught-up to ultimatum day (Wednesday). He is sad/crabby/mopey. I am too, but I’m sucking it up trying to be a better person for him and for our marriage. I know he is taking it harder than I am, and I am more than willing to be his rock/safe harbor during this time. So we were talking about cars and looking at them online, and he started getting pissy at me, treating me like garbage, and generally being an ass. I called him out and asked him why he was treating me poorly and he started getting more pissy and said he wasn’t treating me poorly. But continued being an ass. I started tearing up and finally snapped because he wouldn’t ease up at all on his assy-ness. I told him “you are being an ass right now. I have been very supportive to you and understanding over the last few weeks because I know you are upset. But have you even bothered checking-in with me to see how I’m doing?! No, you haven’t, because you don’t give a fuck about me. Everything is ALWAYS whatever is good or best for you- I have to eat right, exercise, lose weight, keep the house spotless, not yell, and jump through all of your other hoops. And you don’t ever care what I want or need. YOU DO NOT WANT TO PUSH ME RIGHT NOW!!!”
And I got up, started sobbing, and walked away. He followed, and he started arguing with me about it. We were talking about starting to try having kids soon (yes this is obviously on hold) and I said “I don’t know how you expect for us to get pregnant when we rarely have sex.” and he responded with “that’s not fair because it’s been getting better!” I told him that, to me, it’s maybe gotten a centimeter better. But our sex life is nowhere near where it needs to be for me. Because he was arguing with me and appeared to not be taking-in what I was saying to him, I just hit my breaking point. I gave him the ultimatum that I’ve been thinking about for a LONG TIME. THE ULTIMATUM that will either be the beginning of the end of our marriage, OR it will be the thing that saved our marriage.
I told him that he cannot continue to treat me the way that he treats me and that I will not continue to be miserable in this marriage, and that I was done. I said “we WILL be going to couples counseling. If you refuse, then we will have an open marriage. If you refuse, then I WILL cheat on you. Or we will get a divorce. Those are your 4 options. I am VERY CLOSE to cheating on you, and I’ve had opportunities. I am not saying this to be mean or anything, but you need to understand the seriousness of our situation.”
He was silent for a good 10 minutes, then came over to sit next to me and put his arm around me, and said “I will make a deal with you. If our sex life isn’t good (not just better, he specified that it needed to be GOOD for me) by next Friday (9/11), then he will do couples counseling with me. We have been intimate Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday (3/3!). The sex is not great. He continues to edge me on accident (not always a problem, but I’d say more often than not it is a problem), and I have been trying to explain it better to him when we have been in bed these last 3 days- and he has even asked me to take his hand and show him what to do/what I mean (progress!). He was unsuccessful and making me cum these last 3 days.. the first time I asked him if he was ok if I got one of my vibrators to help and he said he was fine with that. So we were PIV Wednesday with the vibrator, then finger fucking with the vibes for Thursday and Friday. He came all 3 times with PIV.
I’m hopeful this is the start of my DB being mended. Based on the last 3 days (and the last 7 years.. let’s be honest), we WILL be doing couples counseling. We NEED therapy. And I will not ever let his willingness to be intimate with me fade for longer than a few days before having a conversation with him about it (obviously if one of us is very sick or out of town or something then that is a legitimate reason to not be intimate... but when he has initiated in the past and I have a raging migraine where I can’t even keep my eyes open... I suck it up and still have sex because my want and need for intimacy is so much bigger than the pain I was experiencing at the time from my migraine).
If you are still here reading this, you are incredible. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! Thank you for taking the time to read about my drama. ANY ideas, morals support, questions that I should ask him, questions you have for me that might help me think through things, LITERALLY ANYTHING you think would be helpful for me, PLEASE let me know! I’m sure there are gaps in the story.. if something doesn’t make sense, please feel free to ask and I will clarify! I am an open book AND I’m an investigative sponge! Teach me things my dear DB friends ❤️❤️❤️
submitted by SuperSnowman1010 to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]


2020.08.23 17:47 missblixx Going away, what to do with puppy?

TLDR - what service would you use if you had to leave an 8 month old puppy for 2-3 weeks?
Hi all. I'm in need of your guidance. After being on a wait list, we're finally getting our puppy! The problem is my fiancee and I were supposed to get married overseas a few months ago (you can guess why that didn't happen...). Thankfully, we were able to change our date to April 2021 (assuming restrictions are lifted).
Because the original plan of getting the puppy after the wedding didn't pan out, we now have to look at boarding options. Have any of you gone away for an extended period and had to leave your pup in the care of others? My concern is that we might lose our bond because it's young (it will l be 8 months old). One of the doggy daycares I'm looking at also offers boarding which might be a good option for consistency. The other option is using a pet sitter that will stay at our place (I'm not a huge fan of this).
I've had older dogs I've had to kennel on very rare occasions, but never one this young. I've always felt guilty leaving them, but this time it feels worse.
Thank you.
submitted by missblixx to puppy101 [link] [comments]


2020.08.03 00:48 Taxi_Dancer MUFFINS part 2/ conclusion)

“Thank God for the California governor,” thought Wilroy Jackson as he stretched out on a chair in the back room of the largest sports clothing store on the ground floor plaza. He put his feet up on the desk, taking a drag on a joint. “Yeah, thank you governor and thank you Coronavirus.”
Two months ago, he had been caught lifting merchandise out of a high end department store in a part of the city where protestors were setting businesses on fire and he hit some mother and her child with his car when he tried to escape. It wasn’t his fault, though. If the cops hadn’t been chasing him, he would have been more careful.
Fortunately, bleeding heart Hollywood social justice warrior types had raised enough in criminal defense funds that Jackson was able to hire Lewis Phagas. Phagas was able to get the looting charges against Jackson dropped and all of the more serious homicide charges were reduced to involuntary manslaughter. Yeah, Jackson still had to do a little time, but that was better than doing life. But even that sentence was commuted when the governor of the great state of California released thousands of non-violent offenders back out into the streets for fear of spreading Covid-19. Jackson was loving life. Thank God for social justice warriors.
Jackson’s girlfriend was an assistant manager of this fine purveyor of high class athletic clothing and shoes and she had secreted him into the manager’s office shortly before closing time and had given him her access card. All he’d have to do is to chill out until about nine o’clock when the building was empty, then take the stairs to the first floor where the store’s stock room was the first one on the left. He’d have to be quick to get in. Janice should have left a cart for him there and all he’d have to do is load up the merch and get out of there. The only danger was that the security room was on the other end of the same floor. But, if the guard was actually awake and paying attention, Jackson would be out the back long before some dumb ass, low end, rent-a-cop could stop him.
Chaz was a bleach blonde young man working at the third floor debt collection company. He was relatively new, having only been hired six months ago, but he had already won two monthly cash awards for collecting the most money for two of the six months he’d worked for the Domestic Economic Management Solutions company, or DEMS for short. On his second month with the company, he recovered over $42,000 on dollars and on his fifth month, he had recovered nearly $53,000. Chaz decided to work a little late tonight, as the end of the month was only a week away and he was in the running to win the monthly cash award again from the DEMS. The only way to get ahead in the DEMS employ was to successfully redistribute that wealth, and Chaz was quickly proving that he represented the best that the DEMS had to offer. He was alone in the cubicle city which, during normal business hours, employed hundreds of debt collectors. Rosa and Rita, the young twin Latina cleaning crew girls, came into the large office lugging behind them vacuums and a cleaning cart. Chaz gave them a friendly wave and a big smile.
“Working late again tonight, Senior Chaz?” said Rosa or Rita, Chaz could never tell them apart.
“Of course, ladies,” he said. “Gotta’ make that money!”
He turned his attention back to the computer inside his cubicle, speaking into his headset. “Look, Mr. Wallace. You already told me that your business was set on fire during the peaceful protests and the bank is going to foreclose on your home, but that has nothing to do with me. Your first priority is to pay off your debts. How hard is that to understand?”
While MS-13 was one of the largest, if not the largest Hispanic drug cartels operating in Los Angeles, they were far from the only one. There were others, like the Los Zetas. Carlo hid just inside the stairwell on the second floor, waiting for Manuel to finish cleaning the offices in the law firm. It took Carlo a few weeks to figure it out, but somehow old, innocent, hard working Manuel was employed as a mule for MS-13, dropping off kilos of coke usually at the piers or dockside. Carlo didn’t know where old Manuel was getting his stuff, but he knew that if he could intercept Manuel and take his stuff before he made another drop, Carlo would make a name for himself with the Los Zetas. Carlo peeked around the corner of the stair well, watching Manuel pass the glass door towards the elevator. He’d give Manuel a few minutes to get to the parking garage, then Carlo would follow.
After a few minutes, Carlo opened the door and stepped into the hallway, looking towards the elevators to his right. Suddenly, a loud crash caused him to jerk his head to the left. A tall, pale, elderly white man wearing a tan suit was thrown through the glass doors of the law firm. His body flew across the hallway and slammed against the reinforced windows which overlooked the plaza. The body slumped down on the ground, but to Carlo’s horror the elderly man got to his knees, clutching a hole in his abdomen where his guts used to be. The man reached forwards toward Carlo with bloody hands and pleading eyes before slumping down, unmoving in a puddle of his own gore.
Carlo bit down on his fist, too shocked to move, when something emerged from the law offices. It regarded the dead Phagas lying on the hallway floor then suddenly looked up, noticing Carlo. Carlo gasped, and then turned, running towards the elevator doors. Hearing the thuds of heavy steps looming closely behind him, Carlo ignored the elevators and instead ran down the hallway, taking a quick right and running past the gynecologist office to a set of double doors on the left. Quickly scanning his access card, he threw open the glass doors and ran inside. Praying that running up the stairs instead of down would slow down his massive pursuer, he took the steps two at a time headed to the third floor. His heart sank when he heard the glass shatter behind him and the thudding of footsteps following him upwards.
Rounding a corner which gave him a split second to look down, Carlo screamed. Although the narrow stairwell was only just wide enough for the monstrosity to navigate, it was actually gaining on Carlo as it bounded up the stairs. Carlo scrambled up to the third floor landing, access card in hand and threw open the door. But before he could step through, a crushing weight came down on Carlo, splintering his spine and upper back and pulverizing his heart and lungs. Blood shot out of his mouth and eyes. Carlo’s body kept quivering, long after he had died.
“Rosa! Rita! Whichever one of you is making all that noise, would you please stop? I’m trying to have a convo here!”
The monstrosity turned to the direction of the noise. Sniffing the air, it stalked down a wide hallway towards an open gallery of hundreds of cubicles, completely forgetting the broken form of Carlo. Chaz was seated in one of the cubicles along a long wall made entirely of glass which faced the hallway. His back was to the entrance to the gallery from the hallway and he was talking loudly into his head set and animatedly waving his arms.
“Look, Miss Thomas,” he said sternly. “Again, I heard you that you lost your job due to the pandemic!” Chaz had given up on Mr. Wallace, the deadbeat who blamed his lack of good business skills on the peaceful protestors. Chaz thought it might have been better if Mr. Wallace had burned down along with his business.
“Yes, Miss Thomas,” continued Chaz. “I realize that you are living out of your car, but you have to put your priorities in perspective. If you don’t pay off this debt that you owe, the DEMS will have no choice but to pursue litigation. Look, Miss Thomas, here is my suggestion. You can sell your car, and use the money to quickly pay off your debt! Then with the money that you have left over, you can get your kids something nice to eat at a McDonald’s!”
Chaz was so close to taking the daily lead. Collecting debts was a highly competitive dog-eat-dog game and Chaz played to win. He just needed this bitch to bite. He’d intended this to be his last call of the night and his blood was up for this kill, so much so that Chaz didn’t notice the horrid thing creeping up slowly behind him. “Miss Thomas, I’m trying to put food in your children’s belly but all you’re saying is that you want to force the DEMS into suing you! Is that correct, Miss Thomas? Am I hearing that you want your kids to starve because your priorities are all jacked up?”
Miss Shaquina Thomas, mother of three children aged 2, 3, and 6, where living in their 2002 Mazda Hatchback on a ghetto corner of Kansas City, Missouri. She had been laid off from her job at the IHOP when the pandemic hit and was reduced to working odd jobs here and there. It barely fed the children and put gas in the car, but it was the best she could do for now. Then this person called from the debt collection agency. She tried to explain that she was doing the very best that she could, but the man just wouldn’t listen and she began to cry over the phone. Miss Shaquina Thomas suddenly heard what sounded like a shriek followed by a large crunching noise over the phone before the battery went dead.
Rosa and Rita had just about completed mopping half of the hardwood floors out in the hallway and were returning to the maintenance closet to dump the dirty water and refill their rolling mop buckets with fresh water and pine cleaner. As they passed the gallery of cubicles, they were met with a sight of blood and gore as something which should not exist was feasting on the annoying young white man who always made snide comments to them behind their backs. Either Rosa or Rita screamed, Chaz would never have known which, and the horror looked up. In two bounds it crashed into the glass wall which divided the gallery from the hallway, but the reinforced glass held. Rosa and Rita abandoned their mop buckets and raced down the hallway as the monstrosity launched itself at the cracked glass again.
Turning right at the end of the hallway, Rosa and Rita screamed as they saw the smashed shell of what was left of their co-worker Carlo blocking the stairway going down. They screamed again as they heard the glass partition behind them shatter, followed by thudding feet following close behind. Running halfway down the hallway, Rita stopped at the elevators, frantically pressing the down button. The monstrosity turned the corner just as the elevator doors opened.
Rita pushed Rosa inside the elevator then jumped in herself just as the black monstrosity leapt. Rita was screaming, frantically pushing the ‘door close’ button, but the doors were slow to respond as the thing crouched outside and made to burst into the cramped elevator space. Suddenly, Rosa and Rita each pulled out a small .380 handgun from holsters which were strapped around their ankles underneath their grey work pants and began firing at the horror just outside the doors. As the doors finally started to close, and the elevator began to descend, the twin Mexican cleaning girls yelled at their tormentor, “Los Zetas, bitches!”
Though confused at what had just occurred, as it was not used to prey escaping, the monstrosity sniffed the air around the elevator doors then turned to the stairwell. Once again stomping on poor Carlo’s body as it passed, the unearthly hunter bounded down the steps, eager to catch up to its prey.
Wilroy Jackson checked his watch and, seeing that it was past 9 o’clock, knew that it was time to get the show on the road. Using the pass card that his girlfriend gave him, he opened the door to the back room which led to the private stairs up to the first floor. Once there, he peaked out the window of the door to make sure that the coast was clear. Then he looked up to the ceiling and spotted the surveillance camera. Jackson had dressed all in white. White sweats. White hoodie. White sneakers. White gloves. When he saw that the coast was clear, he put on a white mask and pulled the hoodie over his head. This wasn’t Jackson’s first rodeo, and he knew that it was difficult to identify suspects who dressed head to foot in white, especially with the low resolution camera’s which most security companies used.
In less than three seconds, Jackson was out the stairwell door, turned right, swiped the access card and was inside the treasure room that was storage room of the sporting goods store. As promised, Jessica had left a push cart for him just inside the door which he immediately began to stack with boxes of Air Jordans, Nike Air and Adidas sneakers, each pair of sneakers costing several thousand dollars each. In less than a minute, Jackson had about twenty pairs of sneakers stuffed into the sturdy plastic cart and soon he burst out of the storage room.
Pushing the cart in front of him, Jackson turned left and raced down the hallway. If the security guard was on his game, Jackson figured that he had a one minute head start on the rent-a-cop. At the end of the corridor, he pushed the cart to the right and continued down the adjoining corner running past the maintenance closet, the water meter regulator closet, an electrical room, and another store stock room. He just had to get past the break room and the stairs on the right and reach the service door at the end of the corridor on the left which led to the parking garage.
Once outside, all he’d have to do is take an immediate right and squeeze himself and the cart between a retaining wall and a concrete pillar and push out from behind the bushes surrounding the first level garage area which then led to the side walk with Flower Street on his right. Just up the street, Jessica had parked the van which they had stolen to make their escape south to get on the Christopher Columbus Transcontinental Highway and freedom. Jackson had just passed the break room. The door to the parking garage was just twenty feet to his left when the stairwell doors to his right exploded outwards. Jackson was thrown against the wall opposite along with about $100,000 dollars worth of high end sneakers. He slumped to the ground and, before he could recover from the shock, felt an incredible pain below his waist, accompanied by a loud crunching sound. Confused, Jackson turned over and pulled himself as far along the ground as his arms could take him, wondering why his legs weren’t working. He died not realizing the entire lower half of his body was missing.
The thing bowed its head, nudging the corpse and sniffing. Suddenly, lifting its head, it froze. It took a deep breath then jerked around and raced down in the direction that Jackson had come from. The horror turned the corner and stopped as it began to stalk the corridor past the break room to its left. Near the end of the corridor, the thing saw a door that was propped open by a sliding chair.
“What?” Bradford awoke with a start, momentarily confused as his world was covered by a suffocating filter of haze grey. He reached up and pulled Schmidt’s newspaper away from his face as he stood up abruptly. He looked at the clock on the wall, showing that it was past 9 o’clock. He’d been asleep for over an hour. He cursed, trying to calm himself down. What could have happened in an hour? Bradford sat back down to view the monitors and was horrified at what he saw.
Monitor 19 showed a man’s ripped corpse bloodying the entrance to the second floor parking garage. Monitor 26 showed the disemboweled body of a thin, older man wearing a tan suit sprawled out on the main hallway of the second floor. Monitor 41 showed someone that looked like one of the cleaning crew guys that Bradford saw earlier, crushed and mangled in the stairwell on the third floor, while what looked to be the remains of one of the office workers was lying in the debt collections gallery on Monitor 42.
Bradford stared unbelieving, throat dry, and eyes wide as he continued to scan the monitors. He knew that he had to call for help, but what would he say? His fingers were too frozen to move, anyway. He scanned the first floor monitors, the floor he was on, and saw two young women dressed in cleaning crew uniforms, running out of the parking garage, both pointing handguns behind then as they ran. Panning to monitor 42, Bradford gulped dryly as he saw the gory half eaten body of a young man lying in the hallway surrounded by piles of bloody sneakers.
Wait, that was just around the corner! Oh my God. That means that…
A hot breath enveloped Bradford from behind, followed by the stench of blood and uncooked flesh. Bradford turned on his chair and came face to face with a terrifying beast of nightmares. The thing stood over him, with a mass like that of a bull, only much larger. It stood on four legs, with its muscular front legs standing seven feet high at the muscular shoulders and ending in massive paws at least a foot and a half across. Its shoulders were as wide as its legs, at least seven feet across and it supported a head that seemed almost too big for the rest of its body. The head resembled that of a bulldog, but four feet wide, with a flat snout and a wide nose, but with an oversized mouth that extended as if on unhinged jaws that revealed dagger-like teeth about three inches long. It had two massive horns which protruded from its temples like a bull and they hung over wide spaced eyes which glowed a fiery deep red.
The body tapered towards the rear and ended at a long, muscular tail. The tail itself ended in a spike which seemed as strong as steel which scraped, sparked and gouged as it waved around the room, randomly smacking into objects and the ground.
Bradford leaned so far back in his seat that it almost fell over. Resting his right arm behind him on the desk to steady himself, Bradford raised his left hand up protectively across his face…
… and smacked the monstrous black beast across its fanged muzzle.
The beast yelped in surprise then turned, fleeing towards the far corner of the room with its tail between its legs. Reaching the corner, the beast turned facing Bradford and flopped down on the floor, plopping its massive horned head down and covering it with both of its massive front legs. Its flaming red eyes peered out from underneath its paws, whimpering pitifully.
“Muffins!” yelled Bradford, standing up and pointing an accusing finger at the hellish beast. “What did you do?” The beast yelped again and covered its eyes as Bradford stormed over to it. The beast kicked its rear legs, trying to back its rear end further into the corner, as if trying to make itself as small and inconspicuous as possible. Still hiding its head under its paws, the beast shivered as it panted and licked its mouth.
Bradford stared down at his poor little friend hunkered in the corner, all shaking and confused. He tried to be angry, but how could he be angry at the little girl? She was just a pup, for goodness sakes, and hellhounds are known to be especially hungry when they are growing pups. Bradford thought back to the cross country journey which eventually led him here to Los Angeles. He had picked up his pale blue, windowless panel van from New Jersey from where he began his drive to his grandparent’s farm in Ohio. It had cost him a pretty penny to ship it from Scotland, and he had managed to get a flat tire somewhere in Pennsylvania in the middle of the night. While he was changing to the spare, Muffins somehow got out of the van and ended up in a restricted US Army training area where the military were conducting some kind of night time land navigation for Cavalry Scout trainees. Fortunately, Bradford was able to attract Muffins back to the van before she ate one of the soldiers, although the local papers did print a short blurb about one of the Army scout trainees being tracked by a Bigfoot. A Bigfoot? Really? Though Muffins had been known to get up on her hind legs to sniff around, no one could mistake her for a Bigfoot. Bradford laughed when he read the story at a local garage where he got his tire replaced. If Muffins really wanted to eat that soldier, she would have found him. What a big mess that would have been!
Once in Ohio, Bradford stayed for about a year with his grandfather and grandmother on their farm in Jefferson. It was one of those communities where most of your neighbors were farmers and homesteads were separated by vast tracks of rolling foothills. Bradford’s grandparents owned a large enough farm and had an expansive enough plot of land in their rural and quaint farming community that a neighbor missing an occasional chicken of goat or hunting dog didn’t raise much of a concern. Muffins was practically just a newborn back then and she only stood as tall as a great dane. Plus, her coat was still a pale grey with streaks of darker grey along her flanks, instead of the pitch black fur that it is today.
It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, when the remains of the runaway Smith girl was found on the outskirts of his grandparent’s property that they got suspicious. The Smith girl went to the Jefferson Area High School and her parents had grounded her when they found out that she was dating the Schuman boy. She ran away two weeks ago and her bloodied clothing and shoes was all that were found on a lonely stretch of road which ran parallel to the eastern boundary of grandpa’s land which led to Mill Creek. Soon after the police investigators left, Bradford’s grandpa began asking questions which Bradford had no good answers for. Why haven’t they seen Scooter, their pet basset hound, for the past week? Why were cows and pigs going missing at their neighbor Winslett’s farm? Most of all, after only a year of living on the farm in, why was Bradford’s dog so big that it was now a full two heads taller than Molasses, grandpa’s Ohio State Fair Blue Ribbon award winning giant steer? And what were those two pointy things growing out of Muffin’s forehead, anyway?
Bradford thought he was doing his grandparent’s a favor by releasing Muffin at night to hunt beyond the boundaries of their farmland, but apparently that would not be a viable solution any more. That night, Bradford went to the ATM in town and cleared out his bank account. He put his clothes in an army surplus duffle bag, before whistling for Muffins and stuffing her in the back of his old but trusty windowless van. Obediently, she climbed in, the van’s rear shocks squeaking in protest. Seeing as Muffins barely had the shoulder room to move, Bradford resolved that, when he could afford it, he’d purchase a bigger van, perhaps even a bus.
They drove south for the rest of the night across the state. After crossing the Ohio border, they stopped in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania, where Bradford got a cheap motel room on the outskirts of the city next to a truck stop. The taste of the skinny, crack addicted prostitute that Bradford picked up at the truck stop didn’t agree with Muffins, and she spit out the body parts, licking her butt to get rid of the poisoned taste. Muffins gave Bradford an annoyed look, but he just held up his hands and shrugged. They left Pittsburg right before evening and continued driving south, and the unfortunate residents of a mobile home located on a lonely stretch of land in the mountains satisfied Muffins for a while as they crossed into West Virginia.
They had travelled south through Skyline Drive and the Shenandoah Valley where Bradford allowed Muffins to get out and stretch her legs. Only a lone camper went missing that weekend who probably wouldn’t be found for a long time after Bradford and Muffins had left West Virginia. Westwards they drove, through Kentucky, southern Illinois, and Missouri, Bradford avoiding as many of the major populated towns and cities as he could. In Kansas, Muffins managed to wrangle down a heifer on a lonely field in the middle of the night. She didn’t eat again until Utah, when early one morning Bradford happened to spy a portly, middle aged fisherman pushing a small boat out into the Provo River for a little pre-dawn fishing.
That was, what? Seven days ago?
Bradford put his palm up to his face, kicking himself.
“Oh, Muffins. I’m sorry! I didn’t realize that it had been so long since you had last eaten. No wonder you were so hungry tonight!” Muffins tilted her head, staring at Bradford and whimpering.
“Come on, girl, let’s get out of here. But first,” Bradford walked to the black table, ejecting all of the DVR’s which had been recording the day’s events. Muffins eyed him curiously, wondering if she was still in trouble.
“Here girl,” said Bradford, tossing the DVR’s at the hellhound. Muffins leaped up, easily catching the discs in her mouth. She chomped down on them as if they were crunchy doggy treats, then, with a confused look on her face, spit the broken and chewed plastic pieces out and began licking her butt. Those tasteless crunchy treats weren’t yummy at all. She looked at Bradford, confused.
Bradford picked up the newspaper he was reading earlier before he dozed off. In bold black letters, the headlines of the Los Angeles Times blazed a story about how rioters and looters in Portland, Oregon, were being snatched up by men wearing uniforms and badges and being dragged into unmarked vans. Bradford smiled down at his security guard uniform and badge.
“Well,” he thought to himself. “Here’s a bunch of folks that no one will miss.”
“Come on girl,” said Bradford snapping his fingers and whistling. “Do you want to go on a road trip? Do you want to go to Portland? Come on, girl!”
Muffins jumped up and down excitedly, happy that all seemed to have been forgiven. Her mouth flopped open and her tongue wagged as slobber and spittle flew everywhere. The heavy thuds of her excited bouncing knocked monitors off the walls and toppled computers on to the floor, while her horns accidently dug huge gouges into the walls. Bradford laughed, grabbing Muffins by her scruff and hugging her, saying, “Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl?”
End
submitted by Taxi_Dancer to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]


2020.07.14 09:35 mamunk69 What to do?

Hi, I appreciate you tuning in. I just broke up with my girlfriend, and of course it hurts. Some back story is..a few days ago I lost a bit of trust for her over a strange situation at work. My girlfriend shared with me that she felt weird butterflies around a guy at work. Obviously I was a little confused by what she meant and she was also, apparently. I kind of got pissed thinking she had feelings for him, but at the same time she explained to me that it wasn't romantic. My girlfriend has recently lost one of her best friends, and she explained that she just felt comfortable around this guy, and that she had made a good friend she could be open with. I understood, because we all have our fun time friends, and our other friends for more serious stuff. I just shrugged it off and we worked It through, agreeing we'd be open with eachother more about stuff, so there wasn't misunderstanding of how we felt. We have been dating for 9 1/2 months mind you, and we are close as can be, best friends. Anyways, literally just two days after, I surprised my girlfriend by coming down early (we live long distance. I usually visit every weekend or every other weekend). She knew I was coming while I was on my way, and acted happy and joyful as usual. I got down there and we spent the day together as usual. She got off at 3, and we hung out until 9, which was the plan. The day was fun and I felt comfortable and totally trustful of her, just until the very end (9:20 ish) as I stayed a little longer. We were napping since like 8, but I couldn't sleep, so instead just cuddled her until a notification popped up on her phone. I thought it was my phone at first, but seeing it was a snapchat sent by another guy (not previously mentioned) she had worked with and was friends with. This guy I even hung out with once! Anyways, he always seemed fishy to me, but I never wanted to be one of those jealous guys, so I ignored it. Anyway, I'm not typically the type to snoop on other people's phones, because I believe it is wrong to invade privacy, but obviously it was weird to see this guy texting her so late. As she was asleep still, I opened the snap to see a shitty message, it was "Nudes???". Of course, i was upset but also thought it could possibly be a joke, considering this friend of hers (acquaintance of mine) was usually inappropriate when joking. Even then, a message at night like that was weird, so I scrolled up on the conversation. Mind you, snapchat typically deletes messages or snaps, but sometimes keeps em, depending on the convo settings. Anyways, I read what wasn't deleted and it really pissed me off. He had asked her to fuck, was being clingy, and she replied with "doggy style rough" in a voice text. Then I read, "when will your bf be around," and "you can come over my dad isnt home" yada yada. Obviously this was very disrespectful for someone I know to go behind my back like this, and the fact that she replied and said or sent only god knows what else, that was potentially removed by snapchat. Anyways, I flipped out and confronted her. She seemed upset and guilty, and she tried to explain that she was joking and that he had been hitting on her, and she wasn't going to do anything...excuses, right? Well, heres the thing, a part of me WANTS to believe her because she has always been the type to kind of be a...non controversial type, so I can see why she wouldn't tell him to fuck off, right? But she didn't even politely ask him to stop hitting on her, as far as I could see, so that seemed like a disrespectful thing to allow someone to talk to you like that and play into it. Now, I dont have 100% evidence she has cheated, at least physically, but unfortunately anything she tells me I cant believe at this point. I do believe she loves me, truly, and I think she is a good person, but this really concerns me. Not only has this situation diminished any trust I had for her, but it seems like I've definitely caught her going behind my back. I've tried to think of any other reason, but unfortunately I know in my gut what she had done was exactly as it looked. Right after this happened, I left and went home. I talked to her on the phone a little but the phone got disconnected due to bad service and she fell asleep. I'm writing this the night of, so as of now we haven't talked. I've never seen myself staying with anyone that I feel has cheated, but unfortunately love does strange things, and a part of me wants to try and work things out. I feel she is actually upset also, and maybe there's a chance to salvage our relationship, but I'm not sure if I should. That's why I'm posting here, because besides her, I have not many people to talk to about this situation and I'd like to see other's perspectives. Should I be done with her, or should i try to speak with her and understand everything , and maybe try to fix things? I do understand people make "mistakes", and I do understand that we all as people sometimes get bad thoughts that are impulsive and wrong, but it comes down to whether or not we act on them. Again, I believe she loves me, but I cannot trust her as of now. Just from the little bit of DMs I read, it seems awful enough, not to mention the countless other things that could have happened I dont even know about. What's your opinion?
submitted by mamunk69 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.06.30 16:16 JeanneDAlter Content Summary: June (2/2)

This is the secon part of the conent summary, go here for the first

Content Summary: June (1/2)

Fanart

Charlotte in her full Glory NSFW
Master's Lover NSFW
Ushiwakamaru spreading NSFW
Jeanne in an Evening Dress
Reines in a Dress
Pale Blue Dot
Guda x Marie
Erice Utsumi got THICC booty (Nishiide Kengorou) NSFW
Murasaki Shikibu, bikini 3-set (Cocq Taichou) NSFW
The Cow Pirate Anne Bonny NSFW
Caenis Warming Up NSFW
All the Nobu(s) are super ready for the summer!
The Tamamo Two
Nagao Kagetora and her smile
Sweater Scathach
Shuten Eating Pizza
Little Red Riding Hood Marie
Lewd Anastasia NSFW
Serenity
Happy Charlotte
Mashu in tights
Da Vinci's "MIRROR" (Reroi)
Yang Guifei, 3rd Ascension. (Uenoryoma)
NOBUNONOBULOVE!!!
Scheherazade (55level) NSFW
Ishtar sippin on a Drink
Cheeky smug Mordred
Suzuka in Lingerie (mashu_003) [Fate/Grand Order] NSFW
Pollux up against the wall NSFW
Maid Salter NSFW
Kimono Anastasia
Paint me like on of your Edo girls NSFW
Mordred in the roses
Bride Scathach (DAMDA)
Nero, Fou, and an imminent wardrobe malfunction NSFW
A very proud Nobu
Summer Mordred's so looking forward for the summer! NSFW
Mashu Is Ready To Celebrate New Years NSFW
Fujimaru Ritsuka The Demon Master
Consort Yu
Sexy Ophelia NSFW
Little Reines
Utsumi Erice
Really Love Marie's new dress here
Jalter in a new dress
Formal Scathach
Very sexy Maou Nobunaga NSFW
A teasing Mordred NSFW
Musashi wants to share her udon
Mordred the professional boxer!
Scathach's Christmas Surprise NSFW
Anastasia
Little Red Marie
Kippoushi Nobu can be cute too!
Nurse Okita is Ready to see You NSFW
Saber Celebrates 5 Years of Fate/Grand Order
Mash in cute dress
Sleepy Anastasia NSFW
Tamamo Maid
Marie in a dress
Musashi-chan
A blushing swimsuit Olga Marie NSFW
Swimsuit Jalter
Stargazing with Voyager
Little Red Riding Hood Marie
Nobu NSFW
Ah, yes~! Tropical paradise with your summer Servants!
Serenity
Shuten NSFW
Jeanne cosplays Leina NSFW
Swimsuit Musashi
Erice Shopping With Some Dorks
Bunny Lartoria fixing her ponytail
Chinese-style Anastasia selfie (Akitokage)
Fire & Ice - Jeanne Alter & Anastasia (Akitokage)
Shirou strikes again NSFW
Ishtar with her "Under the Same Sky" wear
Olga Marie in Mash's battle outfit
Serenity
Summer Tomoe
Erice by kousaki_r NSFW
Scathach
Maid Scathach NSFW
Lovely Scathach (DAMDA)
Erice Utsumi (Yayoimaka)
A blushing Space Ishtar
Fran
Stories for Kingprotea
Young Karna
Jeanne meets Jeanne from Azur Lane NSFW
Lilies in Bloom
Very sexy Okita Alter
Erice Utsumi (Naha78) NSFW
Summer BB playing a hardcore "game" with Gyaru Passionlip (Watosu) NSFW
Maou Nobu At Honnōji
Ishtar and Eresh under the same sky
Wet Erice NSFW
Summer LArtoria by the sea
Marie Alter NSFW
Catmaid Ereshkigal
RAWRRR!!! [BB] NSFW
Leading a revolution makes you sweaty!
Nagao Kagetora's pleasing slingshot swimsuit NSFW
Ibaraki Dressed Up For Sweets Making!
A topless Nobu!!! NSFW
Cute Kadoc and Anastasia
Istar trying Sailor moon uniform in trend
Mashu in the changing room NSFW
Scathach on her Bed NSFW
Lingerie Murasaki NSFW
Kimono Raikou NSFW
Gilgamesh Phantasm
Summer Jeanne d'Arc (Akitokage)
Ishtar and her lovely midriff
Erice Utsumi (55level)
Smug yet sexy Nobu NSFW
Elegant Lolita Marie NSFW
Someone is grobing Cleopatras NSFW
Lalter, the bunny king of Storms - Praise be! NSFW
Crime Boss Scathach
Gudaguda clothes swap
Yang Guifei-chan (Pink Crown)
Deredere Anastasia (Akitokage)
Erice and Voyager
Welcome back to Camelot Casino, Master!
Smug Swimsuit Okita Alter NSFW
Maid Salter
Bride Ereshkigal [CrazyCloverClub]
Swimsuit Musashi (55level)
Formal Mashu w/ a bonus Dapper Fou
Jalter in her New Dress NSFW
The Lewd Goddess NSFW
Artoria ×2 Breast Docking – Saber Alter & Lancer Alter (Zen Hirasawa) NSFW
Mash Kyrielight got some damn THICC thighs (nox13) NSFW
Erice
Excali-Poke!
Sexy appealing Maou Nobunaga
Tamamo
Summer Meltryllis
Ushiwakamaru
Bunny girls [Bradamante, Scathach, Artoria (Ruler)] NSFW
Hair down Swimsuit Musashi
Cutie Coordinate Cocktail
Shuten and Ibaraki Maid service NSFW
Artoria Maid Alter Paizuri – 2-image set (Zen Hirasawa) NSFW
Twin Sister Beam! (Kumakiti889) NSFW
Embarrassed Ishtar
Vitch Olga Marie
Tamamo marking her territory
Eager Okita Alter NSFW
In Bed w/ Scathach NSFW
Sakura Faces
Smug Nero-chama (Cocq Taichou) NSFW
Ruler Artoria got OPPAI (Uenoryoma) NSFW
Cosmic Voyage
Oni Among Wisteria
Scathatch's new bikini NSFW
Lovey-dovey Lartoria NSFW
Mordred Bride
"I want to be scolded by Summer Scathach-san" NSFW
Chocolate lover
Cosmos in the Lostbelt
A reaper in Master's room
Ryougi Shiki
Jeanne & Jalter
Sei in Lingerie NSFW
Summer Melt
Bunny Hoodie Anastasia
Strategy Meeting
Lovely saint NSFW
Playing With Tomoe's Breasts NSFW
Swimsuit Serenity NSFW
There is Beauty In The Ocean
The Beasts
Artoria Pendragon Lancer (Nakawaga Kanon)
Yang Guifei (Hong) NSFW
Santa Kippoushi Nobu
Wild child Mordred
Summer Okita Alter
King Arthur
Nagao Kagetora
Red Lagoon
Shinjuku Alters
Summer Carmilla NSFW
Casual Hoodie Anastasia
Happy Anastasia
Shinjuku
Yuga Kshetra
Musashi's bare back NSFW
Masters Clash
Anastasia at Mount Zaou (Akitokage)
Yang Guifei (Mechamania) NSFW
Mordred Bride
Artoria Showing Off
Bunny Girl Mashu
Anastasia and Marie
Nero
Swimsuit Jalter
Smug Nobu NSFW
MHXX × MHX Alter (Watosu) NSFW
Lancer Artoria Alter in St. Louis' evening dress (Zen Hirasawa) [Azur Lane x-over] NSFW
Mordred
Proto Merlin Design
Hokusai
Carmilla (Nakamura Regura) NSFW
Summer Melt
Proper Examination NSFW
Don't mess with Jeanne Alter, or else...
Okita In A Suit + Hotpants Version
Late Night Burger Run in Shinjuku
Erice NSFW
THICC Mysterious Heroine XX Alter (Watosu) NSFW
Super Dekai MHXX (Wolffeld Price) NSFW
Bunny Mordred
Casters are weak against Riders after all...
Napping Ushiwakamaru
Cleopatra NSFW
Caenis and Kirschtaria
Utsumi Erise by Melon22 NSFW
Mordred's Bubble Tea Challenge
Yang Guifei lovingly staring at you (Sue Suerte) NSFW
Swimsuit Musashi (Kuavera) NSFW
Katsushika Hokusai
Maid Alter
Going to school in Yuga Kshetra [ReDrop]
Lingerie Yu NSFW
Bunny Hoodie Anastasia
Kama doing her job NSFW
Space Ishtar
Soaked Mashu
Caenis' first time bakery visit
Selfie Anastasia NSFW
Medusa's Beauty NSFW
Fran and Mordred
Maid Waitress Scathach NSFW
Sunmer Anastasia
Quetzalcoatl (Nakamura Regura) NSFW
Sleeping Anastasia (Akitokage)
Happy Birthday, Anastasia! (Akitokage)
Mysterious Heroine Mordred
Cast-oof Hime Summer NSFW
Tiamat NSFW
Summer Meltryllis
Erice NSFW
Bunny girl wars
After A Long Day Of Work
Oni Festival
Mecha Lancer Artoria (TABBTO)
Nero in a white kimono (Yayoimaka)
Smol Mo Made Excalibur To Her Mom
Nobu's panties or Bunny Nobu NSFW
Jeanne
School uniform Anastasia
Ereshkigal
Swimsuit Mashu, made by my girlfriend
Sleeping Arrangements
Maid Anastasia
Erice and Voyager
Happy Father's Day w/ Mordred and the Artorias!!!
Abigail Williams is all grown up (SpiderApple) NSFW
Gyaru Elizabeth Bathory (Watosu) NSFW
N-N-Nobu!!! NSFW
Swimsuit Larturia NSFW
Happy fathers day
Nitocris's Slip Up NSFW
Barista Nitocris
Swimsuit Carmilla
Jalter
Maid Waitress Ereshkigal
Mating With Tiamat NSFW
Shipboard date with the Summer Lion King (Hirasawa Zen) NSFW
Gorgeous Tamamo (Untue)
Bunny Avenger Nobus
Hot Gudako NSFW
Tank-top Mordred
Lartoria's summer treat for Master NSFW
Mama Raikou sitting Poolside NSFW
Summer Nitocris NSFW
Arturia and Summer Merlin
Merlin being Merlin
Ophelia Phamrsolone & Sigurd
Swimsuit Ereshkigal (ChiaChun) NSFW
Maid Ereshkigal (ChiaChun)
Maid Ishtar NSFW
Kama Heaven NSFW
Nobu NSFW
Gorgeous swimsuit Okita at the pool
Mash has certainly grown...
Sexy Skadi NSFW
Lazy Meltryllis NSFW
Hot Summer days
Jalter in the Shower NSFW
Artoria Showning Off Her Cool Card Shuffling Trick
Gudako Looks Beautiful
Ereshkigal, Rin, and Ishtar (NA Arva)
Summer Kiyohime as a Saber (Oukawa Yuu) NSFW
Summer Nobu and Santa Nobu NSFW
Nitocris NSFW
Nightingale BOING BOING NSFW
Waking up with Serenity
Argonauts on vacation
Bunny Lartoria's elegance NSFW
Press Scathach's buttons NSFW
Mysterious Nun XXX NSFW
Rock n' Roll Daishouri~!
I'm just here to remind y'all that Musashi is Thicc NSFW
Badass Ereshkigal (SolKorra)
Mysterious Heroine XX – "Master, that's not pizza!?" (207loz) NSFW
Mashu working part-time at a Restaurant
Maid Jalter
Swimsuit Olga Marie NSFW
Lingerie model Bunny Artoria NSFW
Marie alter NSFW
Jeanne alter
Smug Nobu in lingerie NSFW
Bunny Artoria NSFW
Jeanne Takes a Wild Ride NSFW
Mashu's Special Maid Service NSFW
I wouldn't mind Jalter sinking those into me...
Swimsuit Eresh NSFW
Master Reines is all grown up! (Watosu)
Wide-mouthed Anastasia (Akitokage)
Shiki
Ishtar NSFW
Maid Meltryllis NSFW
Relaxing Onis NSFW
Mashu holding Captain America's shield
"En garde."
Scathach in the Morning NSFW
Mordred w/ Lancer Chichiues
Best Snek Rider
Exposed Summer Jeanne Alter NSFW
Sexy Mama Tiamat NSFW
Smug Nobu in red lingerie NSFW
Shuten's Meal NSFW
Shuten in the Changing Room NSFW
Nobu and doggie
Kiyohime Lily (Oukawa Yuu)
Grabbing MHXX's butt while she's eating (207loz) NSFW
Fou
Swim Teacher Tomoe Gozen
Dr. Mashu
Red Roses Nobu NSFW
Swimsuit Tomoe NSFW
Swimsuit Mordred w/ Swimsuit Artoria NSFW
Swimsuit Jalter NSFW
Casual Meltryllis
Chinese Dress Raikou NSFW
Nobunaga's Train Ride NSFW
Musashi checks herself out NSFW
Ryougi Shiki
The Strong Waifu's Of Chaldea
THICC Saint Martha (Asakura Kukuri) NSFW
Marital Vows of Rainbow Skirts and Feather Robes (Hitomin ksws7544) [Yang Guifei] NSFW
Hugging Ortlinde
Lewd Nobu NSFW
Sleepy Nobu
Nurse's back NSFW
Under the Sea
Housewife Raikou Selfie NSFW
Musashi laying by the Pool NSFW
Serenity's Contract
Detective Scathach
Place your bets NSFW
Abby
Service Industry Nobu
submitted by JeanneDAlter to FGOcomics [link] [comments]


2020.06.20 07:53 BoredVoyager My sour experience.......

I am a female 25 now. I lost my virginity when I was 23 to my very first boyfriend who I was deeply in love and that there was a 15 years of age difference. (He older). It was a long distance relationship, for our second encounter, I had saved money to buy my ticket plane because as a red flag back then ' He didn't want to pay for anyone on travel expenses' for the insecurities that I was going to ghost him. Anyway I flew 2000 miles... And we spent our very first night together, me without any experience I just gave him a blowjob and exchanged kisses, caressed, and he only fingered me. And he fell asleep. There was no rush. After a week there, we went for some drinks and when we got home, we rushed to his bedroom.... The foreplay was award, lights off and only playing the pillow fight game. For like 20 minutes..... Then I laid him on the bed and I started to undress him, bj again and then the same of kisses and caresses. I was nervous, he didn't even suggest to use lube or something. After some mins then the thrust began, we were in missionary but I was panicking and turned myself laying on my tummy or prone position... Then after some thrusts... I wasn't virgin anymore. I bled a lot. The pain was awkward but I handled it and when he was deep inside me, we wanted to try another position... Missionary again... I turned and as it was all dark, without intention, I hit with my toe his testicle. And he screamed, got angry for a lapse of 5 minutes and called a night, he didn't even cum..... That was my first time ever, something I thought was going to be romantic, magical, erotic, special, my boyfriend making me love with passion... But all I felt was that I ended being a piece of trash... Days after and nothing sexual happened. It was my last night before my departure date, we went to bed and i thought he was going to make me love.... But no... Then I wanted... I mean??? I wanted to make true love!! So I began and he reacted, we made it and he insisted to wear a condom I told him not to, because I wanted to feel him cumming inside me... It was my first time! What the heck! So well he came inside and right after he finished, he grabbed me from my arm ( we were doing doggy standing) and told me: 'go clean yourself to the bathroom.' I was confused, I didn't know how to react, what to think?! I felt worse than a whore giving services in exchange for money........ The relationship continued for like 9 months and the next experiences were more decent. He broke up a year ago and I felt dying because I gave everything to him, not only my virginity but more than just that. Anyway I started an incursion through dating apps and found a lovely guy, and we have a great chemistry, he's working overseas and will come this summer... He's very religious, thing that I'm not opposed bc I am too, but he values virginity.... There was a conversation and he asked me and I told him: I am a virgin. Oh my God.... I didn't even remember why I lied ? When I have only had sex for like 14 times in my life?!?!?! But because in my inner self I feel like I haven't had my first time yet. The one time that involves real love etc... He will come this summer and we will meet us, and I'm worried because I don't want him to think I'm a liar... I bought online a cream to tighten the vagina , I got the package it's sitting waiting on my nightstand and I hope it works. I know I'm doing it wrong and that I will have to confess afterwards with a priest for this game. But I truly love him and he's excited he will be my first.
The thing is: I deeply regret I basically paid for a trip to lose my virginity to someone who treated me like a shit. I've cried that I don't have a true virginity to offer to the one who I feel has clean and pure feelings towards me.
It's a sour experience and a cross of a regret that I will carry all my life.
So if you reader, a girl or guy, are planning to lose your vcard soon... Just stay sure it is for true love, so you won't regret tomorrow.
Thank you everyone for read it. I feel like I vented something that was weighting on me for the past two years..
submitted by BoredVoyager to virgin [link] [comments]


2020.06.06 15:03 OharaLibrarianArtur [OG+REMAKE SPOILERS] A comprehensive list of every single easter egg in the Remake

As you've likely already noticed, the FFVII Remake is filled to the brim with small details, references and easter eggs, so as someone who usually hunts down details as a job, I wanted to see how many references I could spot across my multiple playthroughs, so I've been keeping track of all of this in a notepad as I've been playing. This is definitely not all the details, but it should hopefully cover most of them. I hope this can give you more appreciation for all the effort the developers poured into this game.
That said, the definition of a detail/easter egg can vary a lot, so I want to establish some rules:
With that said, let's get started! Here are all the details I could find, classified by chapters:
GENERAL:
CHAPTER 1:
CHAPTER 2:
CHAPTER 3:
CHAPTER 4:
CHAPTER 5:
CHAPTER 6:
CHAPTER 7:
CHAPTER 8:
CHAPTER 9: (whoo boy, strap in because there's a billion references here)
CHAPTER 11:
CHAPTER 13:
CHAPTER 14:
CHAPTER 15:
CHAPTER 16:
CHAPTER 17:
And that's most of them! Again, chapter 18 has a bunch of symbolism and foreshadowing too, but that's its own beast which I won't tackle here. Any other details I might have missed? Share them below so we can have a truly complete easter egg thread!
submitted by OharaLibrarianArtur to FFVIIRemake [link] [comments]


2020.06.04 18:33 wasteland__baby New pup + new hire

I’m starting as a TS in the fall, and I have a 10 wk old high-energy puppy. As of my start date, she’ll be a bit over 5 months. I plan to utilize doggy daycare services 2-3x weekly and walking services on the off days, but I’m still concerned that I won’t be able to provide enough time/energy for her, given what I’ve recently been reading about the workload at Epic. Does anyone have past or present experience with this? For context, I’ll be moving there by myself without a SO or anyone to help with care. If rehoming seems like it will be necessary, I’d rather do it now, while she’s younger, so that she doesn’t have to go through the hardship of bonding with me and then ending up with another owner. Even if you don’t have a pup, input from past/current TS on weekly schedule expectations can be helpful!
submitted by wasteland__baby to epicsystems [link] [comments]


2020.05.06 18:50 Monkeybubba I'm really struggling sexually. Mentally? Bf (31M) and I (35F) have been together for almost 6 months. I love him but I'm not sure if we are compatible sexually. Trigger warning at top of post.

Triggers: sexual assault, rape, mental and emotional abuse, alcoholism, depression and anxiety, cancer and mortality.
I'm on mobile so I apologize in advance for any formatting issues.
Brief background: my ex husband and I were together for 12 years and married for almost 11 when I asked for the divorce. And that was 2 years ago now. The breakup was a long time coming, we probably should have never been married in the first place. I was young and dumb, had a past that included rape at the age of 17, and a very bad home life growing up. I clung to the first semblance of what I thought love was. He was 5 years older than me, fresh out of the Army, unemployed, and an alcoholic. But he showed me attention. Hindsight is 20/20.
During our marriage our libidos were very mismatched. I can see now it's because he had unresolved trauma, and the alcohol certainly didn't help. On the rare occasion (I'm talking once a month at best) when he wanted to have sex, if I wasn't in the mood he would force me into it. Sometimes just getting 10 no's and a yes, or sometimes just making me feel guilty right off the bat so I said yes. Sex was always missionary and always over within a few minutes. It was extremely painful because I was never properly lubricated, and to use lube would have meant that I felt he was not doing something right, and he would not allow that.
He never once went down on me, and never cared is I had an orgasm, but also made me feel terrible for wanting to cum. Once I wanted to go to a sex store with some girlfriends (would have been my first time... I was... Maybe 21 at the time?) And he told me I could not go. He then made me feel like crap for wanting to "replace" him.
Long story short, after many years of this and other mental and emotional abuse, I finally began standing up for myself. I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 30, and he was not there for me. He didn't come to appointments, stay by my side during surgery, or hell even drive me home from surgery. I realized life is too short to be so unhappy, I asked him to get counseling with me and by himself, he refused. I asked him to go to rehab, he refused. I felt I tried all I could and I asked for the divorce.
Fast forward to today. I have dated on and off over the past 2 years. The first man that went down on me ever in my life was the first guy I dated post divorce. I was not really into him, so we stopped seeing each other after about a month. There were a few flings after that. All of these were ways I was validating myself as being "desirable" and proving that men could in fact want to have sex with me and also care about my pleasure. The man I am dating now is amazing, in virtually every way. But at this point I'm not sure if the problem is me, or sexual incompatibility.
I'm still trying to come into my sexuality. Figure out what I like and don't like. He is more than willing to join me on that adventure. But, I'm finding I don't like most things. I have a hard time cumming. A very hard time. The only way I'm guaranteed to come is with a vibrator, or by playing with myself while we have sex in the doggy style position. He often expresses to me that there must be a way we can be more successful with me having an orgasm, because in his past sexual experiences he didn't have to put in so much work (orally) and the women could also cum from PIV alone. I have told him I think they must have been faking, bc that's kind of rare, but I have conceded that maybe he's just had partners who were blessed in that way. But I'm starting to feel broken. He also likes to experiment with kinks, and I have decided to try these things with him because I can't say I don't like it if I haven't tried, but I find I don't like most of it. A lot of it seems to be rough kind of play, sometimes it leaves bruises, and during sex I sometimes go to other places and wish it would stop. To be clear, I have spoken up during sex when it's particularly bad, and afterwards when it's just been unpleasant. But he seems disappointed that I'm not as into it as he is. The only things I find particularly arousing is soft, sensual touch and slow love making type PIV. I'm not sure if all of these things are because of my past traumas, and I also do not have insurance that covers any kind of mental health services so that's not an option for me. I'm using Google and trying to do my own self work, but I'm really struggling.
In addition, the type of cancer I have caused me to have a total hysterectomy, so I was on hormone replacement for awhile. I no longer have an issue with vaginal dryness, because I really am turned on by this man (the vaginal dryness before seemed to have been caused by my ex and not my body lol), but I think I have pelvic floor issues. I spoke to my gynecologist but he is old school and isn't much for helping with sexual dysfunction. I have done kegals for a long time, but they don't seem to be helping and I recently ordered a tens unit that will help with pelvic floor issues though it hasn't arrived yet. I do think that by helping rehab those muscles I might be able to achieve orgasm easier.
Outside of the bedroom this man is perfect in every way. And I can honestly say that if I wasn't so concerned that he is sexually unsatisfied with me then I would be able to relax and be more confident in our bedroom activities as well. I don't want to lose this man because I cannot enjoy rough, kinky sex.
What can I do? Any advice would be so greatly appreciated.
submitted by Monkeybubba to sexover30 [link] [comments]


2020.04.30 01:16 mjalti_ Food Diary in the Bay Area, California

*I had planned a lot more meals for this week but due to the unfortunate passing of our dog, that changed things a little. I'm sorry that this isn't as interesting as I hoped! But thank you for reading :)*
Household: 2 (me and partner, J)
Pets: 1 dog, 1 cat
Average Grocery Budget: I checked the bank account and for April, we have spent $627 so far. March was $675 total for the month and the monthly total for February was $700 (no idea why this month was particularly high, I think it was because we restocked on a LOT of household cleaners/items). According to our bank account, the monthly average is about $510 which is very specific.
Occupation: I am currently unemployed, J is in tech.
Stores I shop at: We live walking distance to a Whole Foods so that is our primary place to shop (it’s a dangerous trap because it’s so convenient). I also frequent a small mom and pop grocery shop that is about a 15 minute drive away from us.
Notes: Up until about 6 months ago, J was the primary cook in our family if we didn’t Doordash or go out to eat which we did way, way too frequently. Dining out at nicer restaurants and trying new restaurants in our city and neighboring cities is one of our favorite things to do. After we looked at how much we were spending a month on eating out, it felt ridiculous. So, I decided that I wanted to teach myself how to really cook! Prior to the pandemic, I was only cooking dinner since J would go into the office. Now, during the pandemic, I will make breakfast, lunch and dinner (and a lot of baked goods) unless we are Doordashing to support local businesses which we have been doing on nights I am too tired to cook or J suggests I take a break. J does all the cleaning.
Dietary Restrictions: None!
Day 1, Thursday-
7:30 am - J and I wake up to the cat screeching for her breakfast. We can hear her downstairs, bellowing and intermittently crying. She does this every single morning and every single morning, it continues to be the rudest awakening. J and I try to ignore her for a little longer because she’s not going to die if she doesn’t get her breakfast at this very moment. But her cries are impossible to ignore so J gets out of bed to feed her. J asks me if I want a latte from the coffee shop down the street from us. We normally make coffee at home but a latte sounds amazing. He orders two lattes and a slice of banana bread through Doordash because they are only accepting Doordash orders to limit exposure. He arranges for pick up.
8:00 am - The dog is now awake and so I haphazardly get dressed to take him out to do his morning business. Our dog has some serious health problems so as soon as I set him down to put on my shoes, he stumbles forward and falls on a pair of J’s boots. I immediately pick him up and he decides he can’t wait to pee and pees all over me. It’s kind of hilarious but not really as I just stand there holding the dog as he pees an entire gallon on me while J just watches in awe. The smell is truly…insane. We make sure our dog is feeling stable before J takes him out. I throw my pee soaked clothing in the washing machine and head upstairs to shower. A plus side of this morning is that I’m showering a LOT earlier in the day than I normally would.
8:45 am- Finally, I can drink my lukewarm latte. The coffee from this place is NOT the best but we support the business because it’s local and the owner is great. I also heat up some leftover Indian food we Doordashed the other night. I debate going fully IN with the Indian food leftovers by heating up the tikka masala, aloo gobi AND daal for breakfast but decide against it. I stick with the rice and daal.
9:30 am - J has been working from home and since we live in a home with a very open floor plan, it’s really hard to find places where I can escape the sound of his constant meetings (cue that ‘I can’t believe I married a ‘Let’s circle back’ guy meme). I set myself up on the balcony where I read the news (can’t do too much of this lately), read The Cut, check Bon Appetit for new recipes I want to try and browse the skincare subreddit. I continue drinking my latte which has gone completely cold. I walk back inside and ask J if I can heat up any breakfast for him before his next meeting. He gratefully accepts so I heat up some Shakshuka I made the night before. I’m not a huge fan of Shakshuka but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked the recipe. I also heat up a piece of pita bread the size of my head and place it on J’s desk.
1:15 pm - J is finishing up one of his last meetings before he heads out for a solo hike. I enjoy hiking and the weather is beautiful today but I enjoy utilizing his hiking time to have some alone time at home. Alone time is so scarce nowadays! I decide I’m going to go to Whole Foods to do a smaller but supplemental shopping trip where I’ll purchase enough ingredients for at least a week or a week and a half. I write out my list and walk over to the store. When I’m at Whole Foods, I realize I forgot my face mask and I feel very awkward since 99% of everyone in the store is wearing a mask. I remember when people looked at you funny if you did wear a mask and now people look at you funny when you’re not wearing one!
2:00 pm - Finally home from the store. I bought sugar snap peas, green peas (fresh and frozen), a couple bunches of scallions, two bunches of cilantro and flat parsley, a bunch of mint, dill, basil, some spices, more lemons and limes, onions, a nice piece of steak, some more eggs, unsalted butter, long grain rice, Güs lemon soda, feta cheese, a big tub of white miso, a couple tins of anchovies and a wedge of Piave cheese. ($100.10) I turn on some SZA and take this time to clean out the refrigerator before putting all the groceries away, which is one of my favorite chores around the house. I’m in charge of cooking, cleaning the refrigerator and vacuuming. J is in charge of the dishes, loading the dishwasher (he thinks the way I load the dishwasher is absolutely insane), laundry and the trash.
2:45 pm- I’m making Andy Baraghani from Bon Appetit’s tomato galette for dinner tonight because I bought four pounds of really beautiful tomatoes from the tiny local market a week and a half ago. I make the dough (aka I make a HUGE, sticky mess) and put it in the refrigerator to chill for 2 hours. I’m not sure I made the dough properly as it seemed really wet but I decide not to worry about it. Even though I’m pretty new to cooking but have increasingly gotten better as the months have gone by, I can still be really hard on myself and I find myself wanting to reach Claire Saffitz/Gourmet Makes level of perfection. J is still out on his hike so I throw on a random movie with Elizabeth Moss, Tiffany Haddish and Melissa McCarthy. I’m barely paying attention to it and instead I place an order to the Ordinary for a bunch of skin products.
4:30 pm - J is home and we talk about his hike and how his work day was. He keeps me company as I make the tomato filling for the galette. The tomatoes are so beautiful and it makes me excited for tomato season. My galette looks beautiful but I realize I really fucked up the dough. It’s too sticky and when I try to fold the dough over, it is refusing to lift from the parchment paper! I finally get all the dough folded over and I put it in the oven for 55 minutes. As we wait for it to bake, we have a small pre-dinner-dinner of leftover Indian food. I feel like Indian food leftovers are everlasting!
5:30 - Finally the galette is done and she is CRISPY!! But she is so beautiful. I have a food IG of my remakes of Bon Appetit/NYT/ Alison Roman recipes so I take a few photos before we dive in. J is very patient. Holy shit. It is delicious. It’s cheesy (I’m lactose intolerant so there is that), but the lemon zest on top adds this really beautiful brightness, and the tomatoes and garlic are really well roasted. The recipe called for gouda, cheddar or asiago for the cheese but I really don’t like cheddar and I don’t like gouda that much. WF didn’t have asiago so I used a piave which is similar to parmesan. Same but different. I just wish the galette wasn’t slightly over baked. I have a slice and J has two slices along with a side of cucumber salad. The dog and cat get their dinners and the dog gets a bit of a fortune cookie as a treat. J cleans as I sit my ass on the couch.
7:30 pm- We watch the newest Bon Appetit video and then J plays some video games as I catch up on the family group chat and upload some more photos to my food IG. I also open up a package of RitterSport Knusperflakes chocolate which is SO good. I do not just eat one square but rather, I almost eat half the bar.
Day 2, Friday -
I didn’t record most of the day because we barely ate today. Due to our dog quickly and suddenly decompensating, we unexpectedly had to put him down this afternoon. Needless to say, we are devastated.
7:30 pm - We are both so exhausted from crying and our hearts hurt and I really don’t want to cook anything but I know that eating something homemade will make us both feel a little better. J offers to help but I tell him that he should sit on the couch and rest. I inherited our dog and became his dog-mom when J and I moved in together. I love our dog with all my heart but J and the dog have been together for sixteen years! I am sensitive to the fact that if this is devastating for me, it is harder for him ten-fold. I make Bon Appetit’s crispy green rice pilaf that has sugar snap peas, fresh peas, scallions, feta crumbles, and a very bright and VERY green sauce made of cilantro, mint, dill, Serrano pepper, a little basil, olive oil, miso and lime juice. The recipe also calls for pistachios and golden raisins but I have neither and I don’t like walnuts in my savory foods. I also sear and butter baste the nice piece of steak I bought at the store during my last cooking trip. Even though neither of us have much of an appetite, dinner is simple but really good and I’m glad I cooked. J insists on cleaning while I sit on the couch, sipping on a very watery margarita.
9:45 pm - We are in bed and watch an episode of Ozark. Our hearts aren’t really in it, though. We spend some time talking about our memories with our dog and just how devastated we feel. Even though he was sick, his decline was literally in a matter of 15 hours and the suddenness of it all feels really disturbing. Just yesterday I was feeding him little bits of fortune cookie! (The only treat he would get excited about so we indulged him). We both cry a little bit and then fall asleep.
Day 3, Saturday -
9:00 am - I woke up at 8:00 am but J is still sleeping beside me. I browse Reddit, look at old photos of our dog in my camera roll and cry a little bit. I’m trying to control how much I cry in front of J because I want to be the strong one for him even though I know he expects nothing like that of me. Finally, J wakes up and we stay in bed, talking for a little.
9:30 am - We both woke up with a bit of an appetite so I decide to make blueberry pancakes. This sounds ridiculous but every time I use my flour, I worry that I’ll run out of it too quickly. Flour has been extremely scarce at my Whole Foods and the only other market I go to and to limit exposure, I refuse to go to different stores to find it. But blueberry pancakes are worth it, I guess. We only have frozen blueberries so I throw them in the batter and I love how it makes the pancake batter a deep purple and when the pancakes cook, it turns the pancakes a weird cosmic blue! Normally blue colored food grosses me out but these look whimsical and fun. I warm up the maple syrup on the stovetop with a tablespoon or so of salted butter. It’s very indulgent but it makes the syrup taste a bit richer and why the fuck not? As I cook (it takes me ten years to make pancakes), J folds laundry while he calls his mom.
10:00 am - We sit on the couch and watch 20 minutes of an Ozark episode (I fell into Ozark by watching season 3 and so now I’m working through watching season 1 and 2) while eating our pancakes and drinking our coffee. J says these pancakes are the best pancakes he’s ever had but I’m 99% sure he’s exaggerating. I appreciate the compliment anyway. After we eat, I send J on a walk so I can clear the house of our dog’s things. I know it may seem really quick but it’s really hard for J (and me) to see his beds, his leash and his little doggie toys around the house. It’s just this extra awful reminder that he’s no longer with us.
1:30 pm- Although it’s not really an ‘essential’ activity, J and I decide to get out of the house and go on a drive around our city. We take J’s car as it has more gas which ensures we won’t need to stop for gas anywhere. It’s a beautifully warm day and it feels so good to be out of the house. Before we leave, I eat a quick snack of blackberries and a couple medjool dates.
3:00 pm - We’re home from our drive and we feel a lot better. Although we couldn’t actually get out of the car, it felt really good to just be in the car with the windows rolled down and feel the breeze and sunshine. We’re both feeling super snacky so we arrange a snack plate of a wedge of parmesan, some manchego, some Milton multigrain crackers, blackberries and muscat grapes that are on the verge of dying. I refrain from eating a lot of the cheese but it’s hard.
5:30 pm - I had hopes I would want to cook dinner but I definitely do not. J tells me to not cook and to take it easy so we Doordash burritos from one of our go-to local Mexican restaurants. I order a carne asada burrito and J orders a chile relleno burrito. J also orders a margarita but I decline one. Drinking hasn’t been appealing at all during this shelter-in-place. I am one that loves a good tequila cocktail (or two…or maybe three) with their dinner or a glass of wine but I haven’t been able to drink at all for the past couple months. It doesn’t make me feel more anxious or feel bad, but it just doesn’t have the same appeal as it did before.
8:30 pm - I watch the new Little Women as J does his own thing. I eat some more blackberries and a couple more medjool dates!
Day 4, Sunday -
9:30 am - Wow, we finally slept in for once. It feels very weird and very sad that we can sleep in and there is no dog to take out for a walk. We both head downstairs and I heat up some leftover crispy green rice pilaf and fry an egg to put on top. I’m so happy that I didn’t overcook the yolk. I douse the egg with my brother’s homemade lactofermented hot sauce and it’s delicious. J eats the very last bit of the shakshuka which is crazy to me because he can eat leftovers for DAYS. I also tell him that I hope he’s not shakshuka’d out because I’m making a green one for dinner tonight.
1:00 pm - My appetite is still feeling a little fucked up and I’m not eating as much as I normally would but I force myself to snack on some cherry tomatoes, half of a Persian cucumber and I toast some pita bread which gets lightly slathered with salted butter and a touch of Maldon salt.
4:00 pm - I have a LOT of red Swiss chard, 3 bunches worth, to use up and so I decide to make green shakshuka which is J’s favorite shakshuka. Shakshuka is actually my least favorite thing on a brunch menu but I’ve been willing to eat it a lot the past week. I thought this recipe by Jessica Koslow was going to be relatively quick but holy shit, it is time intensive and labor heavy. I understand blanching has a purpose but waiting for a huge pot of water to come to a boil, only get used for 10 SECONDS is so annoying. The recipe calls for all 3 bunches of Swiss chard so I spend at least 30 minutes ripping the ribs and stems and then chopping the stems into bite sized pieces. Then the sauce calls for blending with a cup of ice cubes except this shit won’t blend! I add in 1/2 cup of evoo to get it going but this still isn’t really looking right. This shit better be good. Also, slicing shallots will be the end of me. They are so small but so powerful. They make me cry more than regular onions!
5:30 pm - Shakshuka is finally out of the oven and it smells very…herbaceous. I sprinkle a lot of dill on top with some red chili flakes. I was convinced this would come out terribly since my sauce looked terribly wrong due to the ice cube situation. One of my yolks popped and the rest of the yolks are just slightly overcooked. However, it came out really well and tastes pretty good. I think I like green shakshuka more than red shakshuka because it tastes lighter and I like that it’s so vegetable heavy. I joke with J that he will be eating this for the next 5 days.
7:45 pm - We start watching Extinction on Netflix while I eat a small bowl of blueberries. I start to feel like I’m coming down with something and J tells me that my temperature seems pretty warm. My throat starts to hurt and I just want to sleep. I feel like the last few days are catching up to me and I’m just feeling rundown. We have plans to happy hour with our friends over Zoom at 9 but I decide to skip out and take a hot shower and head to bed early.
Day 5, Monday
9:00 am - Still feeling kind of shitty so J tells me to stay in bed for longer. I toss and turn for a little until he brings me a cup of coffee in bed before his day starts. I decide I’m giving myself full permission to be lazy as fuck today and not feel any guilt about it. I know I keep saying it but wow, I miss our dog.
9:45 am - I make another cup of coffee and look around in the refrigerator for something that looks appetizing. Nothing looks appetizing. J takes a break from his meeting and I can tell he’s concerned that I might have symptoms of Covid. I definitely do not. I’m just tired and hormonal. I end up eating a single slice of salami. Morning breath, coffee breath and salami breath is real great.
10:45 am - Still in bed and I’m deep into Married at First Sight on Netflix. I try to drown out J’s meeting jargon with shitty reality tv but I can’t. I browse the Bon Appetit subreddit and I wonder if sneaking out to get donuts at old my high school hang out spot is an essential activity. It’s probably not.
11:45 am - I take a shower and decide I’m going to bake a pecan blueberry galette today. Except I know we don’t have pecans so I will use walnuts. I peek downstairs and see J still in video meetings. Our kitchen is connected to the space where his work set up is (we live in a completely open floor plan) so it’s hard for me to go downstairs and do my own thing because I don’t want to be 1) seen looking like ass and 2) I don’t want to be disruptive. I decide I’ll binge some more shitty tv until later in the afternoon.
12:00 pm- J has a small break between meetings, so I quickly toast my walnuts and then grind them in the food processor. I add the flour, butter and sugar and accidentally get distracted while talking to J and the dough forms in the food processor instead of in a separate bowl. The dough LOOKS correct; it’s soft and very well formed. I’m sort of pleased that I no longer have to deal with drizzling tablespoons of ice water and kneading it on my counter top. But intuitively, I know that this is too good to be true.
12:30 pm - I still feel sort of sick/run down so I make my ultimate guilty pleasure: Spicy Shin Ramen. I love making it pretty al dente so the noodles are still slightly crunchy and I use only an inch of water or less so the broth is very concentrated, very salty and very spicy. I take it upstairs and eat in bed which feels fake luxurious. I try to convince myself that I’m staying at a hotel and eating expensive room service instant ramen in bed but that only works for so long. My nose is running and I’m wiping away snot every three seconds. I think this cured me.
3:45 pm - J lets me know that he has one more last minute meeting that is ‘only 30 minutes’. I’m annoyed even though I have zero reason to be. After 30 minutes pass, the meeting still hasn’t ended so I go downstairs and start making my galette anyway. J has told me that I shouldn’t feel shy about utilizing our space even if he’s in meetings/ video meetings but it’s hard for me to not feel like I’m being a loud elephant. But today the PMS hormones and my sadness about our dog pushes me over the edge and I start baking the damn galette. The dough is ROCK hard and I know that it definitely was too good to be true. It roll it out anyway and it becomes extremely soft and crumbly. I make the blueberry filling with sugar, cornstarch and lemon juice. I put it into the center of the dough and start folding over the edges. I brush milk onto the galette edges and then cover it with turbinado sugar before baking for 50 minutes.
4:00 pm - I grab my latest Bon Appetit magazine and go out on the patio. It’s a nice evening and the breeze feels really nice. J joins me and we talk about his day and how we’re feeling. He tells me that he’s most likely going to be WFH for the next 4-6 months due to Covid-19. I expected as much since his company is taking every pre-caution to keep employees feeling safe. We talk about what to do for dinner. I was going to make ratatouille pasta but right now, slicing vegetables into paper thin slices and sweating out 1.5 pounds of eggplant sounds insane. I normally cook so much during the week that it feels really weird to take two days off. But this is not a normal week.
4:40 pm - My galette is done and she exploded. The dough was completely wrong so a lot of the blueberry juice seeped out. The dough is also very crumbly and has a strange texture. But the whole thing together doesn’t taste badly. Baking is wild because it really is science. I guess dough really does need that ice water. I’m a little disappointed but I’ll retry later this week. I post my failed galette to my cooking IG.
7:00 pm - We doordash Japanese food from a local spot we’ve never tried. It’s really not great but that doesn’t bother us too much. We order chicken karaage, a few random sushi rolls and chicken teriyaki for me because sometimes I have the palette of a kid. We spend the rest of the night watching Ozark aka 60 minutes of me asking J for spoilers every 5 minutes because of the stress.
Day 6, Tuesday
7:00 am - We both wake up early and make the best of it. We get out of bed and make coffee. I’m feeling better today which I’m grateful. We eat some left over blueberry galette for breakfast and it tastes pretty good when it’s cold. As soon as we’re done with our coffee, J hops into a meeting.
9:30 am - I head upstairs and do some light cleaning. I make the bed, organize some of my clothes and clean the bathroom floor of all my hair shedding. I have Married at First Sight playing quietly in the background. Today is going to be a food boring day because I can tell my period is about to get here and I usually eat very, very little right before my period comes. It’s almost like my appetite completely disappears. It also doesn’t help that this week was particularly stressful.
4:00 pm - I know I need to eat a snack before I start cooking dinner so I toast another slice of pita bread with salted butter and sliced tomatoes. I also make another big cup of lemon and mint iced water. These pitas are locally made and they’re not your regular pitas. They are so thick and pillowy. I also love that they have a slightly chewy texture. One day I’ll be brave enough to start making bread. Yeast and bread making is still pretty intimidating for me. Since we have another month of SIP, I’m sure I’ll find some time to do try my hand at it.
5:30 pm - J went out for a run so I start making dinner. Tonight I’m making Fusilli alla Vodka with Parmesan and Basil which is a recipe from Jon and Vinny’s in LA. The recipe comes together pretty quickly but wow, the smell of vodka is triggering. It reminds me of when I was too young to know better and really did the absolute most with cheap vodka. The sauce smells so rich and takes on a deep, creamy orange red color. J comes home and tells me he will quickly shower before dinner. I also make a salad of radicchio, spring mix, tomatoes, sliced shallots, shaved parmesan, parsley and sugar snap peas with a lemon and olive oil vinaigrette. Random but I need to use up stuff in our vegetable drawer. Somehow, during the time the pasta is finished cooking and the salad is put together, J gives himself the WORST haircut and comes down in a panic. I am pissed that I will have to eat cold pasta due to this awful haircut. We have a good laugh about it later and the pasta is so, so, so good. Jon And Vinny’s is always to be trusted and the pasta coming out deliciously at home proves that.
9:00 pm - Dessert is some malted chocolate balls and the rest of the blackberries while I post to my cooking instagram. I spend some time browsing the Bon Appetit site for new recipes, browsing the BA subreddit and then it’s more Ozark before lights out.
Day 7, Wednesday
8:15 am - My period came in the middle of the night so I wake up a little tired. I really want pancakes but J says he’s craving a bagel. I decide I cannot eat 10 pancakes by myself so I agree to also eat a bagel. J doordashes from the local coffee shop and orders two lattes and one cinnamon raisin bagel with light cream cheese for me and a blueberry bagel with peanut butter and bananas for him. I haven’t had a bagel with cream cheese in what feels like forever, so this is really great. The owner also gave us two little mini red velvet cupcakes. I definitely eat one of them after my bagel.
4:00 pm - I come home from my walk where I called a friend and I also made a long phone call to J’s mom. We have a really great relationship and we often talk on the phone to catch up. I come home and I’m starving. For a late lunch/dinner, I heat up some leftover Fusilli alla vodka and I’m a little disappointed that it’s not as great as it was the first day. I eat a couple chocolate malt balls and I decide I want to make some brownies. But before that, I spend some time planning out our meals for next week. I’m disappointed that this week was so lackluster for my food diary as I normally make a LOT of new dishes but I guess this week didn’t end up the way that we thought it would.
Reflection: This was SO wordy, I apologize. I'm also sorry for mentioning our dog so many times. I know it got repetitive. Like I mentioned above, we normally eat a lot more than this and I normally cook a lot more than this...not just because I have learned to really love cooking but also for my hobby cooking instagram. Thank you again for reading! I hope everyone is eating well, staying safe and healthy.
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2020.04.25 23:21 Tough_Cap Was I overcharged? Dog walking

Please let me know if I'm being unreasonable. I just don't feel comfortable and it makes it worse because I did ask about it beforehand.
Basically Her rates are listed as- $20 for a puppy rate walk, 30mins $+7 for 60min rate per walk
I asked her about this at the meet and greet,specifically mentioning the rates I listed above and she just nodded; in understanding but not agreement? I didn't want sticker shock and wanted to be sure I understood and had fair expectations. I asked for puppy to be walked no more than 15 mins then hang out with her for the bulk of the time with a couple min (literally) at the end primarily because it's easier to lead her to her crate when she's already leashed up. With generous treats for a good job. I didn't want anyone to have to deal with puppy trying to make a game out of it. She charged me $40, not including the fee of course. I didn't have a lot of choices at that time and was too uncomfortable to say anything. I was an independent contractor (house cleaner) and I listed my rates and clarified with clients. I do not believe in trying to haggle especially when it is a personal service; the service person lists their price and either you can afford it or look for another option. That is why I asked despite it being uncomfortable.
And if I'm paying $40 for a service that is a time amount of an hour then puppy should be out of her crate ~55mins. Based on her "on my way" text and when I saw her leave puppy in her crate (puppy crate cam) she was there with puppy out for ~43mins. Puppy walked for less than 10mins total because she hates the rain, probably 5 when she got there and maybe a couple before she left.

I understand it can take a few minutes to return a pet to a crate. However, puppy walked right in. I took my break at work to make sure there were no issues, the only issue was she forgot how to close the crate. Fortunately despite it being a $30 cam it had 2way chat. After a few minutes of talking her through it, it was still wrong. That's not the point just an aggravation. I had her give puppy another treat because that wasn't a calm departure but puppy was very well behaved. Didn't try to escape or get barky.

More detail-
I needed someone to walk my puppy while I'm working, essential worker at grocery store. She loves it but can't attend daycare at this time due to a soft tissue leg injury.
Due to the injury puppy cannot go for more than a 15 min walk at this time with a walker. I take her for a little bit longer but I didn't want them to risk having to carry her (40lbs) or hurt her if they were out too long. Puppy is 7.5 mths old and I'm away about 7 hrs including round trip travel, I leave at 5a to make sure she's naturally asleep a good chunk of that time. I wanted someone to give her a nice break. Puppy loves loves loves people and this quarantine plus no doggy park (due to injury) has been really hard on her. She's very extroverted and that's why I'm willing to pay a little more if necessary to make sure she has her needs met.
I'm keeping my schedule on the early shift 3 days a week to accomodate this.
Try things that aggravated me before we had our meet and greet that are unrelated but still affect my overall feelings.
1- I had a preferred walker come a few days before but apparently I didn't check the second key before giving in to her because it didn't work. I just moved in and the landlord gave me two keys. So I paid for the walk and she showed up but puppy wasn't walked. She said her schedule just changed but to let her know if I couldn't find a walker another time and she'd see if she could do it. I did contact her about this morning but she never got back to me either way. The lady I went with was not my first or second choice.
2- from the very beginning I had an issue with this walkers conversation style but I assumed English wasn't her first language and put that aside. This was an inaccurate assumption on my part. This is a business relationship after all. There was an issue with the date on the booking so I asked about it. This is her full reply
"Can call rover they said can fix to sat that way can confirm take pics app ran when there ask for Texas guy I just talk to"
I don't fully understand or find that an acceptable way to communicate in any business relationship. It doesn't have to be uptight but proper sentences would be nice.
Honest thoughts please.
ETA- If I was intentionally paying that I could have worked two shorter shifts combined and been gone about 11hrs and had her come for two 30 min walks.
submitted by Tough_Cap to RoverPetSitting [link] [comments]


2020.04.13 21:04 InvaderLOLZZ Yohachin Origins

“Oi, Chika-chan? I was just wondering if you’d like to walk home together after school?” You Watanabe was determined. It was now or never and she knew she needed to muster every ounce of courage to make her dreams become reality. “This time for sure” thought You. “This time for sure!” “Sorry, but I was going to go home togeth- I mean walk home together with Riko-chan. Don’t worry, You-chan! I’ll make it up to you one day I promise!” You was heartbroken, but her heart had already been mercilessly dragged through the gutter before; this was the 98th day in a row that she had asked Chika-chan and this was the 98th time that she heard Chika-chan’s empty promise. “hahaha don’t worry about it, Chika-chan! Some other time then! Bye!” You turned around and calmly walked off so Chika-chan couldn’t see her face quivering with sadness and rage. You lived in the same direction as Chika-chan, but she couldn’t bear the awkwardness of having to walk home right after she was coldly rejected. “I don’t get it! I’m a nice girl! Why does Chika-chan keep going out with the addlepated-knuckle-dragging transfer student?! I’ve even tried giving Chika-chan gifts but she never even notices me!” You was furious. She knocked over a trash can and kept kicking and stomping on it but her anger wasn’t dissipating. “Hey that looks like fun! Mind if I join?” Once her bloodlust waned, You looked up to see who it was. It was Kanan Matsuura. “K-Kanan-chan! I uhh. I-I just saw a spider on this trashcan! Y-Yeah it was a huge! So I tried to take it out j-just in case someone with arachnophobia came by!” You was lying through her teeth, but luckily You was one of the finest liars in Numazu; no one could possibly see through her web of deceit! “You-chan, are you okay? I mean, your heart is in the right place and it was thoughtful that you thought of others, but spiders are valuable members of our ecosystem so you shouldn’t kill them.” “Oh” replied You. “Well anyways I’m just gonna head on home now. See ya later, Kanan-chan!” You couldn’t possibly deal with another embarrassment so she was just going to cut her losses for the day and retreat to her home alone, but Kanan had other plans: “Hey You-chan, I just got my driver’s license the other day so I can drive You home if You want” “O-Okay! Thanks!” Kanan drove out her Rolls-Royce Phantom and drove You home. Along the way, they spoke a great deal about each other, life, the arts, environmental conservation, and so on. You started to feel strange. Never had she experienced someone be this genuinely interested in her. No lip service was coming out of Kanan’s mouth; every word she spoke to You was laced with a pure and gracious intent. Deep down, something was changing with You’s heart. Deep down in the farthest depths of her heart, You felt a faint ember be ignited. Was this the formation of love? Kanan was somehow able to pierce the calloused and jaded heart of You which had only known suffering, pain, and the bitter sting of constant rejection. “Thank you, Kanan-chan, for everything” This would be the first of their many such outings.
“Hey, You-chan? I was just wondering if you’d like to walk home together after school?” “Sorry, but I was gonna go home with Kanan today. Don’t worry, Chika-chan! I’ll make it up to you one day!” Once school ended, Kanan and You would meet up and hit the town. They’d go to the mall, the aquarium, the shrine where they’d jump down the well to enter the feudal era, WcDonald’s, their local Starbucks café, and more. While they never explicitly said it yet, most of the town knew about their romance and the town’s residents would watch in envy as a perfect relationship was unfolding before their very eyes. On one fateful night four months into their relationship, Kanan mentioned that her parents wouldn’t be home. Willing to take things up a notch, the duo decided to have a romantic candle-lit dinner of dried fish at Kanan’s house. During their salty dinner, You was overcome with emotion. Tears slowly began to roll down her supple cheeks as a smile emerged from her face. “You mean so much to me, Kanan. You’re much more than my friend; you’re the most important person in my life and I want it to stay like this forever. I’m yours for now and forever; I love you, Kanan.” You had professed her love for Kanan and thus, made their romance official. Kanan warmly smiled and stroked You’s cheek, gently brushing her platinum-coloured hair in the process. “I’m all yours, You”. Their lips tenderly and passionately embraced over and over. Kanan led You to her bed and put some music on. The couple slowly lowered themselves on the bed and became fully intimate with one another; all their scars, marks, perfections and imperfections were now revealed to each other. You took charge. Ten minutes in, something happened that would change the course of the world; “Oh sh!t babe the condom just broke!” And thus, Yohachin Matsuura was conceived. ♫ Every time I close my eyes
One month later, Kanan Matsuura and You Watanabe were wed and united in holy matrimony. It was a good, wholesome Christian marriage and everyone in Numazu attended. You pulled some strings and were able to rent a couple of dolphins who would leap out of the water when the two kissed at the climax of the ceremony. After the wedding ceremony was the reception. Hundreds of dishes of dried fish were served and Mari made her very special stewshine cake for the couple. Before the festivities could take place, Mari, who was Kanan’s best woman, made a toast and roast to the couple. Everyone laughed and Kanan knew she made the right choice of choosing Mari instead of Dia. Afterwards, DiverDiva played their hit single “Love Triangle” for the newlyweds, although You and Kanan only had eyes for each other. The newlyweds hit the dance floor and busted some sick moves. Slow dancing was never their thing, so the couple performed an interpretive dance to Rick Astley’s 1987 hit Never Gonna Give You Up for the audience instead which moved everyone to tears. At the end, the couple tossed the bouquet and Ruby caught it, which made Dia furious. Overall, good times were had by all and it was a day that would make one think that they had died and gone to heaven.
Eight months later, Yohachin Matsuura was born into this world. The little bundle of joy known as Yohachin had the cheeriest smile that would turn even the most heinous of villains into the most stalwart of heroes. In fact, all of Christendom was baffled as Yohachin seemed like an angel who should have been in heaven but was in fact living among the mere mortals down on Earth. “She’s so beautiful, Kanan.” You and Kanan shed maternal tears over the sight of young Yohachin; she was truly a gift sent from the heavens. It took a little while for the wife and wife to get accustomed to parental life. To begin with, none of them had ever really interacted with babies before. Luckily, they took the parenting course offered by Uranohoshi Girls’ Community College (which would later shut down due to lack of applicants) so the couple had preliminary experience with things like changing diapers, feeding babby, and so on. “Just like the simulations” Kanan would exclaim with glee whenever she successfully changed Yohachin’s soiled diaper. Despite being able to perform such basic tasks, Kanan and You were still unadjusted to having to wake up at 3am to attend to Yohachin’s incessant crying, bawling, and wailing. “You, can you see what’s wrong? I have work in the morning.” “Well so do I, Kanan, but I’ll do it this time.” “k thnx babe i luv u long time” “np bb” (it is important to mention that Kanan worked as a well-respected diving instructor and You worked as a successful Taekwondo Instructor). Who knew that raising a child would be so difficult? Sometimes Yohachin would be crying for no reason. Other times she’d cry and then vomit on her mamas. Overall, the whims of a baby are unknown to mankind.
Over three years later, Yohachin is four years old and lived in the northeast section of Numazu, where all the beach properties are. Kanan and You’s relationship was running smoothly as always and they were in excellent shape both physically and financially. Sometimes Kanan and You would have a date night and ask Chika to babysit young Yohachin (Chika was Yohachin’s godmother). “Bye Yohachin! We’ll be back in a few hours! Be nice to Auntie Chika!” “ok i wuv u mama and mama” “We love you too, sweetums!” and the parents kissed and hugged their only child before departing. On the date, Kanan and You had an exquisite time (like always) and ate some newfangled exotic food. “So Yohachin’s going to go to school next year” said You. “Yeah, it’s too bad that Uranohoshi Girls’ Elementary School shut down due to a lack of applicants three years ago” “Well, at least Yohachin can go to [INSERT SCHOOL NAME] Elementary School. Anyways, I was thinking that we all go to the zoo tomorrow as a family!” “Good idea, You! I haven’t been there in years and I’m sure that Yohachin would love to see the gorillas and giraffes!” The plan was finalized. The couple then realized that their date nights were times for them to get away from the hassle and hustle and bustle of parenting and decided to start talking like they would before Yohachin was born. “And when the trainee woke up, her skeleton was missing and the Taekwondo instructor was never heard from again!” The couple laughed, clinked their glasses and ate their meal of dried fish. After their date they returned home and stealthily had sexy times. After switching to Trojan Magnum over three years ago, their condoms never broke again. Unfortunately, Yohachin walked in on them doing hanky-panky (so far this was the 49th time she walked in) but You was able to diffuse the situation by saying that they were practicing Taekwondo. “ok i wuv u mama and mama” “We love you too, sweetums” Once Yohachin returned to bed, the two horndogs went at it again with vigour and ferocity until they both fell asleep. What would the future hold in store for the young family?
The next day, Kanan didn’t feel so good. “You okay babe?” “Yeah, You. I think that pangolin soup didn’t agree with me.” You went to get the Pepto-Bismol, but Kanan had the sinking feeling that this wasn’t just the average upset stomach. “mama uwu r u ok pwease dont die mama i wuv u mama” “Don’t worry Yohachin cough, I’m just feeling cough a little down today but your mother is gonna cough take you to the zoo today!” “yaya mama i wuv u mama imma see the chickies and the whinocewouses and the giwaffes and the gowiwwas and the pangowins and the wions and the ewephants and the doggies and the kitties and the kiwis and the dodos and the t-wexes get better soon mama” “Alright Yohachin! Let’s go to the zoo! Kanan, call me if you need anything or if you’re feeling worse; I’ll come back right away! Love you!” “I cough love You too, babe! cough” And off Yohachin and mama You went.
At the zoo, Yohachin and You saw a lot of neat animals. After walking around for two hours, Yohachin spotted a balloon vendor. “mama i wanna bawwoon pls mama i wuv U” “Sure thing, Yohachin!” You picked out a red balloon for Yohachin and then went to pay for the balloon, but You couldn’t find her money! “Just wait right here, Yohachin! Don’t run off now!” You began to look through her pockets but she couldn’t find her wallet anywhere! You gave herself a full TSA pat-down and finally found it (her wallet was in her handbag). As she finally finished paying, You turned around and saw that Yohachin was nowhere to be found! You began to panic; a cold sweat began to seep profusely out of every pore and orifice from her body. Where did Yohachin go? “YOHACHIN!!! IT’S MAMA! YOHACHIN MATSUURA WHERE DID YOU GO?!” You began to call out for Yohachin and looked frantically around the zoo to try and find Yohachin, but the crowd was too large. “YOHACHIN!!!!” After having a panic attack, You then saw Yohachin’s red balloon in the crowd going towards the primate enclosure. You ran and pushed everyone in her path while screaming out Yohachin’s name. When she finally reached the balloon, You was horrified; Yohachin was inside the gorilla enclosure. “YOHACHIN SWEET JESUS NO!” There was Yohachin in the enclosure, playing with the seventeen-year-old western lowland gorilla. You ran up to a zookeeper and begged “PLEASE MY BABY IS IN THERE PLEASE SAVE HER!” You was hysterical. It took ten security guards to calm her down as You kept instinctively using her Taekwondo moves on them. In order to save Yohachin, the head security guard had no choice but to shoot and kill the gorilla. Yohachin was then rescued safe and sound without a scratch on her body. You hugged Yohachin tightly. “Oh Yohachin I never should have left you out of my sight! I’m so sorry! Oh Kanan’s gonna kill me for letting this happen!” “dont cri mamam im ok mama would fowgive U mama mama is nice and kind she wuvs u no matter what and im ok mama” Just then, You’s phone rang. It was Kanan. You answered the call. “Hey babe! How’s it going at the zoo? I forgot to tell You, but did You know that I used to be a zookeeper at the zoo before we started going out? I’m mentioning this because I used to work with this western lowland gorilla named Harambe who was really nice and gentle! I haven’t seen him in a long time, so if you see him, just “tell” him that I said hi!”
“So fellas whaddaya think of my book?” “Well Tatsuki Hermz, isn’t this a little derivative?” “Yeah I don’t think our company can publish something like this. I mean, we don’t even the rights to publish anything related to the Cincinnati zoo and the killing of Harambe.” “Mr. Hermz, I don’t think this is the kind of story that the readers and fans of Yohachin and the Philosopher’s Stone would enjoy. This book is too much of a departure from your previous works in the series that I and the rest of the board of directors have no choice but to refuse to publish Yohachin Origins*.” “Whaddaya fellas mean? My girlfriend loves this story! Did you know that? My totally real girlfriend who shares the same intellectual and artistic capacities as me loves this story! You fellas can’t go wrong if you publish this! My girlfriend loves it!” “I’m sorry, Mr. Hermz, but we here at Penguin Random House Publishing are not going to publish this book. I’m afraid it’s back to the drawing board for you.” “And so it is, fellas. And so it is…”
submitted by InvaderLOLZZ to Otonokizaka [link] [comments]


2020.04.11 04:24 steveo02134 More Blasts from my past....

Another in my series of sexual reminiscences...
I was recently divorced and Carrie had ended a rocky relationship herself. She was all of 5’5”, ruby red hair, milky pale skin, big full naturally red lips with an impressive rack for a woman her size...nice looking ass to boot. We worked together, but weren’t in the same division.
A long work event took us to a rainy dreary Midwest city for a four day visit at a pretty nice old hotel. Through a crazy mix up Carrie ended up with a one bedroom suite all to herself. Work reception ended, group of staff went to dinner, hit a store for some beer and back to the hotel. Carrie offered to host the after party in her spacious accommodations. She and I sat at the table and shared details from each of our breakups for a while. Party came to a halt when hotel security knocked on the door with a complaint about the noise. Everyone headed for their rooms.
I got to my room a couple floors down and my phone rang. It was Carrie, she said I’d left my meeting material behind on the big table in her outer room and she’d leave the door open wit the deadbolt so I could grab it real quick since she wasn’t on duty till the next afternoon. So, I popped back up, slipped into the outer room of her suite and tiptoed over to the table...not wanting to disturb her. As I passed the door to the bedroom I caught her out of the corner of my eye....I froze in my tracks. There she was, standing in the doorway with her rob on but not closed around her completely naked body. I worked my way up from her bare feet, past her toned calves, her milky thighs, her flaming red bush (this is ‘99, before the shaved pussy era had dawned), her just ever so slightly soft tummy, her even sexier that I’d imagined plump D cup tits and finally to her smirky lips which uttered only two word in reply to my long lingering tour of her body: So, hi.
I could only muster a simple Hi in return. I just instinctively walked up to her and started kissing her, pulling her close to me. In a pause between kisses and pulling various items of clothing off me she said something to the effect of ‘well, I’m glad you had THIS reaction’. We continued to kiss as I explored her body with my hands. Her skin was SO soft and smooth. Her tits were absolutely astounding...the firmest D cups I’ve ever felt and so perky. They barely moved. If I close my eyes, i can still feel them in my hands. Moving down over her tummy skipping her pussy for a second to her legs and around to her ass...it was just a firm as her tits. My hands were in heaven.
She’d gotten me down to just my underwear at this point. She suggested we move to the bed to get more comfortable and I didn’t argue. She slipped the robe off her shoulders and draped it over the back of the chair and sat down on the edge of the bed. As I walked up she took ahold of my waistband and pulled my tighy whities down. My hard cock sprang forth and kinda smacked her in the cheek. She giggled and said she had a better idea for what to do with that as she took me in her mouth. She grabbed a hold of my balls with one hand as she held the base of my shaft with her other and slowly worked the top in and out of her warm wet mouth. Her tongue flirted around the head and shaft as she sucked and bobbed her head up and down.
After a good bit of this, she popped the head out of her mouth with like a lollipop, looked up at me and said ‘my turn’ as she laid back on the bed and spread her legs wide exposing her luscious pussy lips for me to feast on. Without a word I dropped to my knees and dove right in. Using my fingers to spread apart her lips and separate her flaming bush I started licking her slit up and down, stopping to flick her clit each time I got to the top. I slipped a finger in and explored her folds and wetness as I started to concentrate on her clit with my tongue. I continued fingering her as I licked and sucked her clit. I felt her back arch off the bed and her pussy push Into my face. I was a bit surprised when she groaned ‘I’m coming’ as she grabbed my hair and clamped my head with her thighs. She tasted amazing as she came. She released my head and pulled me face to meet hers and kissed me deeply and tasted her own pussy and cum. She then looked me in the eyes and said ‘well now that’s out of the way, you can fuck me any way you like and cum wherever you want.’
The next hour and half we explored all the positions we could think of: missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, over the back of the chair, on the desk, on the desk chair, some crazy sideways shit I don’t remember the right name for and ended with her on the bottom with her legs up over my shoulder and me pumping her pussy full of my cum. When I collapsed beside her she slipped down and gave my cock a gentile lick and suck the licked her lips and said ‘umm, we taste yummy’.
Another half hour of mutual exploration and complements followed. I confessed my absolute love of her unbelievable tits, she said she’d never been with a man with a cock as thick as mine (I’m just average in length, but the ladies always remark on my girth), I played with her ruby bush all wet and sticky with our sweat and cum...I had to agree with her: we did taste yummy.
She offered to let me stay the rest of the night and I accepted. We slept naked, spooning the rest of the night, ordered some room service for breakfast before I headed back to my room to shower and head down to the morning events. While was getting dressed I realized my meeting materials were on my desk...right next to the phone. I must have been looking right at them when she called to say I had left them in her room.
We ended up dating for about 8-9 months before she broke up with me to date another guy, though that wasn’t the end of me giving her oral orgasims. But, that is another story for another post.
If I close my eyes, I can still picture her in that doorway, robe just barely over her shoulders, hanging wide open, milky skin, ruby bush and those tits.....those astounding tits.
submitted by steveo02134 to sexstories [link] [comments]


2020.04.11 01:00 TopOfTheBot Top Posts and Comments of the Day

Top of the Day for 11/04/2020

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Most Upvoted Posts of the Day

First Place
Los Angeles without smog
posted by knownothingwiseguy on /pics
Click here to view the post. ● 147,002 Upvotes ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 04:47:05 UTC
Second Place
There’s a stray cat that hangs out around my neighborhood. We give her food and water and she accompanies us on our daily walks. Over the last week, she has been extremely clingy and affectionate. She hardly ever leaves our porch. Today after our walk, she brought us her kitten. I feel so honored.
posted by callmecourtnay on /aww
Click here to view the post. ● 100,376 Upvotes ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 04:39:30 UTC
Third Place
'They hired a photographer just for me!'
posted by downriverrowing on /aww
Click here to view the post. ● 100,161 Upvotes ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 01:55:13 UTC
Fourth Place
My 11yo and I play games in the front yard nowadays. Every day he does something different to spice it up. This was today's choice.
posted by Beas77errier on /funny
Click here to view the post. ● 96,486 Upvotes ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 05:02:54 UTC
Fifth Place
Cash money of you
posted by XDEC0DE on /dankmemes
Click here to view the post. ● 93,480 Upvotes ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 12:04:49 UTC

Most Downvoted Posts of the Day

This section is currently being worked on.

Most Upvoted Comments of the Day

IMPORTANT NOTE: This section may be not be accurate as it is under development. Currently this only gets the most upvoted top-level comments from the most upvoted posts today.
First Place
Congrats you now own a cat and a kitten. They have adopted you as their family. Take care of them.
posted by NewMellenia on /aww
Click here to view the post. ● 9,981 Upvotes ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 04:41:55 UTC
Second Place
I had a feral cat that wouldn't let you remotely near her. I was all set to trap her and have her spayed so of course she disappeared. A few weeks later I was working in the garage and there she sits with a tiny kitten at her feet. I had the house door open since I was carrying things in and out. Next thing I know she picks the kitten up and calm as could be just strolled right on into the house. She decided that my clothes closet was a good place so I put a blanket in there and she let me put the kitten on it. And that's how I gained two cats. It still took about 6 months before I could pet her but she'd let me hold the kitten as much as I wanted. It was just so weird how it happend...LoL
posted by RokketQueen1006 on /aww
Click here to view the post. ● 9,970 Upvotes ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 08:58:17 UTC
Third Place
Now that’s a fun guy to be stuck in quarantine with.
posted by MissusMcFeely on /funny
Click here to view the post. ● 9,225 Upvotes ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 05:57:11 UTC
Fourth Place
Felt cute, might smog later
posted by sonicduckman on /pics
Click here to view the post. ● 7,399 Upvotes ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 05:05:27 UTC
Fifth Place
I would be looking around for more kittens.
posted by finbuilder on /aww
Click here to view the post. ● 6,810 Upvotes ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 04:44:14 UTC

Most Downvoted Comments of the Day

This section is currently being worked on.

Most Gilded Posts of the Day

IMPORTANT NOTE: This section may be not be accurate as it is under development.
First Place
Fibonacci, Me and Arben Vllasaliu, Digital, 2020
posted by shapirog on /Art
Click here to view the post. ● 60,203 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 12:38:55 UTC
Second Place
CNBC anchor shocked by Guest saying “who cares” about billionaires losing money if companies go under is something to behold.
posted by MisterT12 on /PublicFreakout
Click here to view the post. ● 88,281 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 15:20:38 UTC
Third Place
Am I the only one that feels a big part of Reddit has a problem with women?
posted by Iwannastoprn on /TwoXChromosomes
Click here to view the post. ● 15,511 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 02:03:01 UTC
Fourth Place
We Are The Strokes, ask us anything!
posted by TheStrokesOfficial on /Music
Click here to view the post. ● 2,783 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 21:39:56 UTC
Fifth Place
Entitled Family Aunt desecrates a family grave to obtain a priceless family heirloom for herself.
posted by ImaginaryBroccoli6 on /entitledparents
Click here to view the post. ● 2,444 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 05:52:00 UTC

Most Gilded Comments of the Day

IMPORTANT NOTE: This section may be not be accurate as it is under development.
First Place
yo that’s me. if anyone doesn’t believe I make this stuff myself, my instagram is the same as my tik tok handle and I have a youtube channel recording my newest build (Kiara Builds). and for someone who couldn’t do a push-up in high school (2 years ago lol) I like to think my pushups were okay.
posted by kiarapillarcos on /nextfuckinglevel
Click here to view the post. ● 3,554 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 21:33:17 UTC
Second Place
I’m an RN working on a covid unit and now the staff entrance is filled with signs and writing on the wall saying thank you and telling us we are hero and stuff like that. It’s nice to be recognized, it is hard work we are doing and we are putting ourselves and families at risk to help others. That is 100% what I signed up for, and basically what I did on a typical day before this all started. HOWEVER, what I did not sign up for is to do this without the proper equipment to protect myself. There are a few RNs out there who love the hero complex, most I feel like just want to do there job, safely and as humbly as possible. It just feels like to me when this hero stuff starts to get thrown around it is a way for society to build us up to be sacrificed so that the public will view it as a noble but necessary service we did, giving them a curtain to hide behind the truth which is that none of this needed to happen. Like soldiers sent off to war to die for corporate greed and political power. “He died a hero to protect your freedom...” not really but it’s an easier painting to sell to the public than, “he died so a rich man could get richer”. Profits have been placed over the safety of staff and patients for years, we are just seeing the effects of healthcare capitalism on a mass scale right now. Our healthcare system was so stretched thin and underprepared for a situation like this that it was a ticking time bomb, so here we are. I appreciate the rest of the world appreciating what I do, but we aren’t hero’s, we are sacrificial lambs that were given capes instead of masks. `Edit: Sorry about all of the grammatical errors, I’m not going to fix them since I’m on mobile though. And thanks for the silver kind stranger.` Edit 2: Wow, this really blew up. Now I feel really crappy about all of the grammatical errors that I didn’t feel like fixing. Thank you for all of the awards and all of the supportive comments. I am glad I was able to start a conversation about something that deserves to be talked about.
posted by phillychzstk on /worldnews
Click here to view the post. ● 4,010 Upvotes ● 3 reward(s). ● 1 silver reward(s), 1 gold reward(s) and 1 platinum reward(s) ● Posted: 10/04/2020 at 02:10:00 UTC
Third Place
A few years ago I was awoken at probably 5am, sun was just starting to appear, by the most rancid stench I have ever experienced. It was so rank that it woke me out of a sound sleep. I am unwakable. I will silence alarms in my sleep. I have slept through hurricanes. But this stench slapped me in the face so hard that I was up and ready to fight it at the first grasp of consciousness my body had. At first I thought it was some serious ass dog poop, but my bedroom door was still shut and it would be super weird since my dog doesn't have a history of pooping in the house. `So I go on a manhunt for the source of this god awful aroma and I absolutely cannot figure it out. Nothing on the floor, under the bed, on the bed, in the closet, in any piece of furniture etc. I open the window, partially to let in some fresh air and partially to see if it's coming from outside. Then I walk by my python's enclosure one more time and realize that it is the epicenter of this horrific nightmare fume. I couldn't see much through the barely sunlit room, so I flip the lightswitch on to see the side of her enclosure covered in a dried, crusty liquid and some bits of unidentifiable chunks.` Absolutely disgusted, I have no choice but to get closer and inspect this hazmat crime scene to find out what the fuck happened and see if she was still okay. She was fine, but coiled up at the opposite end of her enclosure with her head poking up at me. Pleading. Begging. \"Please. Please human. Kill me\". `She had escaped the day before and had been fed the day before that. If you don't know much about caring for snakes, you have to let them rest and digest about 72 hours after eating otherwise they can and most likely will vomit. Do you know what snake vomit looks like? It's just a whole animal with the head half partially dissolved in acid depending on how long it was inside the snake.` In this case, I looked over and saw a rat's ass from the hip bones down, organs spilled everywhere and goo covering every inch of the enclosure on that side. She had decided to puke the rat's ass directly onto her heat rock, where some of it had been deflected everywhere and the rest had been actively baking while I'd been sleeping. The sight coupled with the scent made me lose it, I vomited all over the floor. `I go and grab some cleaning supplies, toss her into a bin and soak a T shirt in perfume to tie around my mouth and nose while I attack this revolting pukepocalypse. As I've got my head in her enclosure, straining to hold my breath and trying to squint as much as possible so I don't have to see it as much, I turn to throw another wad of dirty paper towels into the bag I had opened up on the floor behind me to see my dog snacking on them. I vomited again.` Overall, it took me an hour to get the enclosure clean, I had to give her a half hour soak but babysit her while trying not to fall asleep so she didn't try to submerge her head in Dawn, I had to brush my dog's teeth and the smell didn't leave my room for a week. Even with my windows open, 3 wallflowers and fan going 24/7.
posted by SlytherinAhri on /AskReddit
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Fourth Place
>don't see people in this thread offering up a room in your house or your couch to a homeless person in your area. ` Imagine comparing billion dollar companies with buildings full of thousands of empty rooms to the average American homeowner? Boot licker.`
posted by ohpee8 on /BlackPeopleTwitter
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Fifth Place
I adopted my daughter when she was 7. She had been physically, mentally, and sexually abused since the age of two. We did not know this. She was only close with her grandmother who attempted to protect her. My wife was friends with the grandmother, and the grandmother told my wife of her suspicion that this poor sweet little girl was being neglected. The grandmother had no idea how bad it actually was. The poor woman went to her grave not knowing, thank God. `Well, my wife decided to do some investigating after the grandmother died. Especially when my daughter didn't show up to the funeral. Her mom works for Indiana DHS, specifically Child Services. So she called her and asked for advice. Her mom's advice? Friend the parents. So we did. They were terrible people. The husband said he worked online from home and when I asked doing what, his reply was \"video streamin' service\". I'm in IT and I know a lot about technology, so I asked which service thinking Twitch or something. He said I'd never find it because \"it's private and requires a special browser\". So uh.. the Tor browser? His face visibily whitened when I said that and I had my suspicion he was into some hardcore BDSM or doggie porn. His wife had not come out of the bedroom because she was feeling sick and she was watching her daughter who was also sick. I never got to see my soon to be daughter for almost two weeks after befriending these sick motherfuckers.` Long story short, these terrible examples of humans had been streaming themselves perform sexual acts on their daughter for a few years. When she wouldn't (or couldn't) \"perform\", they physically abused her. When I met her she had typical bruises a 5 year old kid would have, but she also had these weird circle scars on her arm. (Also the bottom of her feet but I didn't know that or that they were cigarette burns until later.) She attached very quickly and fiercely to my wife almost immediately. `Well, about six months go by and we have grown attached to this little girl. Shes surprisingly witty for a 5 year old going on six, cute as a button, and vocal. Vocal in such a way that we begin to suspect something isn't right at home. I guess it started when she we babysat for a few hours and she asked if I wanted to watch her urinate. I asked why, and her reply was (God this still haunts me) \"dad watches all the time\". ` So yeah, we called the police after talking with her some more. A cop came over with a social worker and collected the child while a search and arrest warrant was issued for the parents. They searched the house and found photos of my daughter nude. They found videotapes of my daughter being molested. They found a Tor website where paid users could download videos of these fucks doing unspeakable things to this poor little girl. `My daughter spent some time in the foster system while my wife started the fostering process. We were granted foster and granted foster care of my daughter. We then immediately began the adoption process. It took years to get her officially. It is still an ongoing battle with her mental health. She still freaks out around lighters and she's nine. Absolutely will NOT get near a cigarette that's lit. And she doesn't like men at all. She loves me and trusts me, but I can tell that the trust doesn't extend the same as it does with my wife and it hurts me inside so very badly.` The parents were convicted of a few things but the most pressing was the production and distribution of child exploitation and child molestation. Molestation was a level 3 felony (3-16 years) and the husband was given 9 years for it while the wife was given 4. Production and distribution was a level 6 felony (six months-2.5 years) and they both were given a year on that charge. They both are still currently incarcerated. `I left a few key details out to protect the identity of my family and the previously mentioned filth that created my daughter. Please forgive me for this. Also, I've never told anyone this. I've said a few thing about my daughter on Reddit, but I've never told the whole story before. It still hurts apparently because I'm over here balling my eyes out for my daughter and when she wakes up I'm going to cook her some badass chocolate chip pancakes and let her use chocolate syrup for topping. And then I'm going to hug her and tell her how much I love her and that she can't imagine how much joy she brings me.` Fuck yeah. I love you, M.
posted by dudemo on /IsItBullshit
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submitted by TopOfTheBot to TopOfThe [link] [comments]


2020.04.10 23:20 littleottos Support a Sitter email from Rover

UPDATE: Rover just emailed me back with the following:
In the meantime, we don't have any features yet to manually send the email notification for the other sitters since this is auto-generated by the system in which they detected sitters as qualified.
We will only give owners the option to gift funds to their respective sitters if all of the following criteria are met:
  1. The service is being cancelled and the owner is due a full refund.
  2. The sitter and owner have had at least 5 completed stays with each other.
  3. The service that is being cancelled is a browse service (i.e. boarding, house sitting, non-Rover Now walks and drop-ins).
  4. The start date of the service is between March 1 and May 10
  5. The service was booked prior to April 8.
So it looks like there's no option to gift to sitters who don't meet this criteria, which kind of sucks but I guess I could just contact them via Past Stays.

Pet owner here, I just got an email from Rover giving me the option to send a financial gift to my weekly dog walker. I had recently had to cancel with him due to my puppy contracting kennel cough, actually nothing to do with COVID, but it was around the same time as the lockdown.
I gladly sent him some money, but wanted to send some to my regular doggy daycare sitter, and boarding sitter as well. I was not given the option for them. I wonder if they only sent it to me for my walker because I had canceled his recurring walks.
Anyway I was just wondering if anyone else got this email and if so, has anyone found a workaround to send money to their other sitters? I looked through Rover's FAQ and Help Page but since this might be a new implementation I found nothing. Thanks in advance.
submitted by littleottos to RoverPetSitting [link] [comments]


2020.04.10 20:58 Langston1113 The only PSE (pornstar experience) I’ve ever had while hobbying. Hint: sounds sexier than it turned out to be

The only PSE (pornstar experience) I’ve ever had while hobbying. Hint: sounds sexier than it turned out to be
This will explain why I insist on using the term “ultra-GFE” which I coined rather than PSE to describe the special regulars I have.
Yes, that’s right, I have bareback sex with certain, select escorts. According to the Internets, PSE doesn't necessarily mean bare services but is more about fetishes, unconventional sex positions, plus the look and feel of a porn video. That means anal, ass-to-mouth, cum-on-face, cum-in-mouth-with-swallow, threesomes, and so on. Again, definitions vary but that's the difference more or less.
I once had an encounter that was billed as a PSE by the providers. It was a threesome and the two ladies were, apparently, actual pornstars with movie credits to their names. That may sound hot, but it was not. It did not go well at all. “Let's go to the tape.”
  • Entry: 65
  • Date: 09/10/17
  • Name: Cartoon butt & friend in Midtown
  • Finished: No
  • Score: 0/5
Journal notes: MY EYES ARE STINGING AND I WANT TO THROW UP!!!
🤣🤣🤣 I had to laugh at myself for this one. OMG. Alright. Here are the missing details:
There’s a reason why I seldom book girls in Manhattan itself. They are way too pricey and the sex is particularly mechanical. Talk about pro’s. These girls are used to seeing high-rollers 24/7 and usually, the sex is accompanied by drug use, as in a whole binge that goes wild and goes to extremes. Not my speed.
But on this night for whatever reason I had hit up a couple ads from Midtown Manhattan. The ad indicated 2 girls for a pornstar experience and I booked them. The name on the ad was “Desiree Milan” - that’s even what I referred to her as. See screenshot below. Thanks again, Google, for being able to retrieve these.
https://preview.redd.it/9f0o50nwd1s41.jpg?width=830&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee73617f67ecb51d99cd0490fa1307a4a36c6b23
They were in a fancy hotel in Midtown. Everything was top-notch and I made sure to dress the part. When I made it upstairs, a blonde dressed in lingerie opened the door, not the brunette I saw in the ad named “Desiree Milan.” The pics on the ad were fake. What’s new. So we proceeded.
CARTOON BUTT
The blonde had the look of a pornstar but not exactly in a flattering sense. She was thin, very tanned, she wore a lot of makeup with and fake eyelashes. She had very obvious breast implants which looked awkward on her skinny body. She had lip injections. And last but not least, she had butt implants - bad ones. They didn’t fit her body frame, her legs were still skinny, and she looked like a cartoon. Hence the moniker “Cartoon Butt.”
She told me about how she shoots professional scenes on the West Coast. I’m pretty sure she told me her porn name, but I didn’t remember 15 seconds later. I don’t even remember what her friend looked like, and usually my photographic memory is impressive. But I’m drawing a blank. I can’t even remember if she was blonde, brunette, whatever. She was the co-star to Cartoon Butt who was obviously the lead.
AND… ACTION!
After the introduction, they sort of just started their routine on me like it was a scene from a porn movie. As I stood in the middle of them, there was lots of fake porno dialogue." Oh yeah? You wanna fuck both of us? Like two little whores? Yeah?" Their whole act was overly-eager and excessively fake. Maybe there are some Harvey-Weinstein-looking types that really get off to that, but so far it wasn't working for me.
"Let's get you out of these clothes." They began doing this super theatrical thing of rubbing my chest, taking off my blazer and unbuttoning my shirt. One of them was up top while the other took my pants off. The tongue kissing, though, I didn't mind. It's kind of what kept me in it, not to mention the BBBJ by her friend down below. So I thought, yeah, this can work out.
They told me that going bare would incur a steep upcharge, but that they were clean and what not. This was a rare moment that I actually declined BBFS. I said something like, "Let's see how it goes with the condom first, then we might switch up." Honestly, I just wasn't feeling their whole act.
SO… UNSEXY.
They did what you'd expect from a porn scene. They both sucked me off on their knees while I stood, intermittently kissing each other, one licking the head while the other dove for my balls.
Before the fucking started, Cartoon Butt snapped out of her fake act and asserted, "OK, dude, you've gotta decide now. You gonna pay extra for raw or not?" That was so.. very... "unsexy." I thought to myself, I'm not gonna waste more money for what may turn out to be mediocre. So I declined the offer and she switched back to her fake act. I kinda wanted it to end sooner than later, as long as I got to unload.
NOT FEELING IT
First came missionary as the second girl tried to lick my ass or lick in between us. Sounds sexier than it turned out. Then we switched to having the second girl sitting on the lead actress’ face while I continued in missionary. It had potential but the second girl refused to kiss - that was extra too. From there, Cartoon Butt got into doggy while she ate out her friend. This had potential. However, something about the sight of fucking two soccer balls that’s just not so exciting. This is when the moniker really became fitting.
STILL NOT FEELING IT
I kept losing my boner and Cartoon Butt started getting agitated. At one point she left the room then came back out with an idea. She was going to sit on my face while her friend sucked me off. Alright, that’s worth a shot. But this was going to be with the condom still on because, “I don’t suck dick bare again after the condom comes back off.” Great. It had something to do with the taste left from the lube or whatever.
We got started and it was going okay for a little bit. But she didn’t tell me she was planning to squirt in my face in the process. She kept on with that unnecessary and exaggerated dialogue. She held my head by the hair as I tried my best to eat her. She was rubbing her clit rapidly and started to get herself off. Then it happened.
MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!
This is one encounter that I’ll never forget. My photographic memory does not fail me at this moment; it’s a blessing and a curse.
With one hand in my hair and the other hand rapidly rubbing her clit, she squirted into my face. Correction: she drenched my face, chin, neck, and chest. Does that sound hot to you? NOPE! Get this: it didn’t come out in streams, ejected in pulses like you see in porn but just splattered all over the place, continuously, especially since she kept vigorously rubbing her clit.
This bitch might’ve PEED on me, come to think of it! Nah, it really was her juices. But it FELT like I got peed on. LMAO!!!
That was the end of the scene. I got up because my eyes were stinging. Plus… it smelled! 🤢 I ran to the bathroom where my clothes still were. I should’ve taken a shower right there and then, but I washed myself off in the sink instead. My eyes were stinging.
I know we had a short conversation before I left but that’s immaterial at this point.
While driving home, my eyes were still stinging and I really wanted to throw up.
I'LL STICK TO GFE & ULTRA-GFE
So, yeah, I’ll continue using “ultra-GFE” and seeing those that offer it. I'll stick with the girls just outside of Manhattan, the normal girls with normal bodies, even my lovely plump "fat girls."
You guys can keep all the PSE.
submitted by Langston1113 to havingfunhobbying [link] [comments]


2020.04.05 03:41 BearLair64 Lacy: Beautiful Dreamer in the Moonlight

Part 1 of 2
Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee.
Sounds of the rude world, heard in the day,
Lulled by the moonlight, will all pass away…
My latest rendition of the old standard tune ended abruptly as I heard a familiar rhuff! and low growl from just inside the trees. It was getting late and I’d decided that after a long afternoon of yard work, it would be nice to relax in the shadows of the forest. I’d also held out some hope that my best friend might make an appearance and… there she was! Preternaturally still, standing near the trunk of a large pine, she peeked around the bole in a playful manner, yet her eyes blazed red and her mouth gaped in an awful grin full of fangs and horror and were we standing closer to one another, I knew a foul stench.
I grinned back at her, “Hey sweet lady, I take it you are well?” Her menacing grin widened and she panted a little in pleasure at the greeting as she stepped from behind the big pine and walked toward me. As she drew near, she dropped to all fours and nuzzled my hand in doggie greeting. She gave out a little whine… dogs know how to play people, there was a hint in that sound as though she desperately needed just a scratch behind the ears and above the base of her tail to save her life… “Drama queen.” I said to the massive beast that had started life as a fluffy little puppy, my fluffy little pup, Lacy. Yet I relented as we knew I would and proffered the scratches.
She rose once more and gave me a quick dog kiss on the cheek, I had to choke back a gag at the odious wave of her breath. Then she stepped back and gave me her best goofy dog grin, mixed with the way her face had evolved into the more sinister features. “You want to have supper with me?” I knew she wouldn’t; months after her final transformation, she preferred her own fresh kills but it had become one of our games for me to ask. She surprised me though, by getting a twinkle in her otherwise baleful eyes and nodding.
“Well, I have a pot roast in the crock…” She turned and bounded back a little way into the tree line and dropped to all fours again. She raced around through a few trees and popped out again a little ways from me, a piece of wet, dripping dead critter in her maw… Ah, even as a Dogman, Lacy had a great sense of humor, one just had to speak and understand the, “Doggish” language… maybe Dogginese? I thought as we walked over to the back porch and the little patio set…
**** * ****
It’s amazing what we can adapt to and perceive as normal when we love those involved. I ate roast with some grilled veggies and Lacy chomped her raw, red meat, still giving off a little steam… poor critter’s temperature must have been up after running from my pooch lady. “Miriam had to work late this evening or she’d have joined us. Somebody had an injured cow or bull or something.” Lacy stopped mid-chomp and looked at me askance.
“She said it may have been coyotes or feral dogs; you have a different theory?” I feared for a moment that she may have gone more feral than expected. Nah, not Lacy, she actually understands what would happen if she fed on livestock, I thought, all too willing to give her a pass.
She sat silently for a moment, clearly trying to think of a way to clearly communicate what she knew or believed she knew. Finally, she stretched her head down low and used her right foreclaw to point at her neck… the place where she had four pink scars from when the Lacy Elbert werewolf bit her and started this journey.
I leaned back in my patio chair. “So you think it was another werewolf?”
At that she gave a little shrug. I was often surprised at how much she’d picked up human gestures. Maybe so many millennia of human and canine interaction had led to some cross-species non-verbal communication gestures. I’d read something on dogs actually understanding humans better than we realized. Besides, Lacy had already been exceptional, at least in my perfectly unbiased view (eye roll).
“Not sure, just not coyotes or dogs.” She gave me a nod. “Well golly gee Lassie, did little Timmy get bitten by that other Lacy before he fell down the well and needed to be rescued?”
Her look was priceless: the sinister Dogman features contorted in deep and genuine confusion; she looked quite hideous, so naturally I laughed. “Sorry girl, there was no way for you to get that reference. I just meant that it seems we may have another monster on our hands.”
She resumed her normal, merely sinister grin, jaw gaping, gleaming fangs displayed, and a little drool escaping from one side where her tongue lolled. “Tell you what, I’ll get with Miriam and work on the, “who might be missing” angle and you… well, keep doing your thing. A few people know about you. I had to tell Sheriff Cloud so that if anyone sees you and freaks out, he can re-direct. I told that nice lead paramedic too, she needed to know about the toxic bites and scratches. So, maybe the High Sheriff will have some information for us.
Lacy had gulped down the remainder of her meal and clearly wanted to get back into the woods, so we rose and I hugged and patted my enormous rescue shelter pup and rubbed her back. She tilted her head up a little and gave a little howl of pleasure, parting, and sheer youthful exuberance; then in a flash, she swirled away and vanished into the darkness. We both had work to do…
**** * ****
Valerie pulled out onto the highway from the parking lot of, “Pliny’s Delight Package Store: Fine Wines, Liquors, and Beer”. She was on route back to her dead-end little hometown and would need the booze to numb her mind to the utter boredom that would ensue for the duration of her stay. She’d come down for her brother’s memorial service about six months before and was now back to sell their, “ancestral estate”, she rolled her eyes, If you can call a three bedroom wood frame house on half an acre an estate. Still, it would sell eventually and she could use the income to pay off her townhome in the big city.
They’d cremated Philippe before she arrived and the local yokels had been short of answers as to what exactly had happened to him. She still had a few acquaintances, no real friends but a few who might talk under the right circumstances; in complete privacy and confidence or if there was something in it for them. So far, all she knew was that her brother’s trashy girlfriend had been responsible. Still, it didn’t make sense, she thought for the umpteenth time as she made the night-time drive toward the wide spot in the road that she’d called home until her eighteenth birthday.
Her father had disappeared when she was nine and in the intervening years, she’d lost her mother and now her baby brother, Phil. Phil had been pretty smitten with Lacy Elbert. The girl had been pretty but Valerie thought that there was something wild about her, not in the partying sense but rather… something gamey, she decided, a bit of the local wilderness infected the young woman. That’s probably what Phil had liked. He had enjoyed the great outdoors, of which there was plenty in this area, the trees went on for miles…
Merde!” she exclaimed as her headlights lit up a large animal in front of her speeding jeep. It ran across the road and scampered into some trees on the other side, if something so large could be said to have, “scampered”. She’d braked and swerved to avoid a collision and knew that it had cleared the roadway but a thump sounded on her passenger side rear fender and caused her to swerve, something large had struck her vehicle! Once she corrected the skid, she pressed her brakes and checked the mirrors. In the bright red of the brake lights, she saw an enormous hair covered figure that stood in the middle of the highway in a menacing posture, arms akimbo, claws on display and ferocious maw open and emitting a roar.
She had slowed significantly and as she stared, fixated at the horrific scene behind her, she nearly failed to note the return of the first figure that had darted in front of her. This one was slightly less bulging but had longer and wilder hair. It ran at her car from within the blackness of the nighttime forest, now on two legs. Instead of stopping, she smoothly pressed the accelerator to avoid the loping beast. It struck the driver side fender and she heard the ear-splitting shriek of razor talons as they scraped the metal of her vehicle in an attempt to seize and stop the machine. She continued to accelerate and saw in the mirror that both nightmares now chased her on all fours and were closing fast. She downshifted and pushed the engine to redline before gearing back up…
It was a near thing but eventually when she checked the mirrors, the duo had vanished into the gloom. She shook with fear and the effects of a massive adrenaline dump. She glanced around nervously, in fear that at any minute, one or both of the bipedal lupine horrors would pounce from the murky shadows. She slowly regained control of her breathing, in through the nose… three count, hold… three count, release… three count. After three sets, she felt slightly more calm. She desperately wanted to stop and look at the damage her jeep had surely sustained but she didn’t dare. Maybe it would be a good time to have a word with the local law enforcers. She’d need a police report for the insurance company and she might be able to coax some information from them if she properly played the part of demoiselle en détresse.
**** * ****
Deputy Barnum met her at the house to take her report. Valerie wasn’t sure about how to describe the creatures that attacked her, so she went for the simplest explanation, of which she had tried to convince herself during the drive to her little hometown; people in outlandish costumes…
She could tell that Deputy Barnum was… skeptical? He worked very hard to project his disbelief. “So, ma’am, you say you saw these… people, maybe in costumes, maybe with large dogs, after you left the liquor store?”
She crossed her arms defensively and in frustration, “For the fourth time, yes; I haven’t had a drop and none of my containers are open, in fact, you can see that they fell from my front seat onto the floor, I haven’t even cleaned out the car nor gone inside the house. I don’t know who or what the beings were, but they were hairy and tall and hit my jeep hard enough to do that.” She pointed at the large dent in the passenger side rear fender and the deep gouges along the driver side.
Deputy Barnum nodded, “Yes ma’am, I just want to get it straight for the record. Did you see either of them holding any instruments that could do that damage? Maybe and iron rake or garden tool?”
Valerie chewed her lip, she really wanted to punch this backwoods Sherlock and deal with, “the hounds of the backwoods-ville” herself. “Maybe, but there were no long handles, they could have carried some sort of clawing instrument.” The interview went on for another fifteen minutes or so and Deputy Barnum gave her some unsatisfying and unlikely assurances that the Sheriff’s Department would look into the incident and that she could pick up a copy of the report day after tomorrow. While it was good to have the incident recorded, she had the feeling that Barnum knew something more but was hesitant to tell her. Well, she could at last mix that favorite drink…
**** * ****
“Mr. Ahrens from the bank brought in his dog Fritz and said that he saw a notice of foreclosure about to be served on the Elbert place. I thought old Kenny would have left it to his nephew and niece; ‘Nancy and Drew’… Hah! I don’t think they could read, much less solve mysteries. They live even further out in the sticks though. Maybe they never found out about their inheritance.” Miriam speculated as we reclined on the sofa. She’d had yet another long day, mainly backed up appointments from after her, “moo-cow” emergency.
“Well, I wondered who was left of them after Sheriff Cloud and the JP told me about the murders. Any idea if the boyfriend had any family?” I didn’t want to press her with bigger questions, she was tired.
“Oh yes, he was a local boy but his daddy ran off when he was little and then his sister went off to college and work in the big city, then his mom died, sweet lady. His life was like a country song, ‘I was a teenager; my daddy run off and my mama died; I was smitten; then bitten; by my werewolf girlfriend…’ she sang the last in a silly, twangy voice and tune.
“How’s the cow?” I asked innocently. If she was too tired, she’d give a short answer, if she felt like talking, then we could discuss it.
“Certainly not coyotes or even a cougar. The bite radius was huge. If we had bears… maybe something like a large wolf or… dog…” She trailed off and I could hear the question and the implication that Lacy could be the culprit.
I knew that Miriam wouldn’t want to believe it but she, like me, had to know for sure. “Well, it wasn’t a certain, ‘dog-girl’. I asked her. She thinks there may be another werewolf. I must say I agree. One had to have infected the Elbert girl. I just don’t know that much about werewolves. She looked pretty similar to my… our Lacy and they both went on four legs as often as two but there was a different quality and some difference in shape. That ‘were-Lacy’ was tremendously spiteful to our Lacy; definitely held a grudge about that first night. I still think Lacy must’ve gotten in the way of her hunt for a meal. Maybe I’ll ask her.”
Miriam chuckled, “You are the only man I’ve ever heard of who can hold a conversation with his dog. Those rescue pups are remarkable. Oh, and so are you…” The rest of that evening is none of your business but I had noticed that since I recovered from the werewolf scratches, I’d been feeling… vigorous. My aches and pains all but forgotten.
**** * ****
I sat across from Sheriff Gene Cloud in his office and we each sipped a cup of very good coffee. Apparently over his years in law enforcement, ole Gene had become a connoisseur de café. We’d come to the end of pleasantries and small talk, he got around to the point, “Earl, I hate to ask but do you think that… er… dog of yours, um… do you think she may have had anything to do with the attack on that steer? Thing is, the bite and claw marks would be consistent with… well, you know, a creature of her size and configuration.”
Gene and I had become friends since the night we called, “The Howling Incident” after that old werewolf movie from the 80’s, so I could understand why he was hesitant to ask. I think that he really didn’t want it to be Lacy either, “Well, this would sound weird to anyone else, but you’ve seen some things. I asked her and…” it was my turn to be hesitant, “…she denies it. Thinks it may be another werewolf.”
Gene nodded, “Oddly, the fact that you talk to your transmogrified pooch is not what concerns me. However, I’ve worked with enough teens and young adults to know that they sometimes come up with convenient and usually imaginary culprits to redirect attention from their behaviors to other parties. It’s not that they’re being bad, it’s a pretty normal type of psychological avoidance; they don’t want to hurt or disappoint a respected figure in their lives, and they don’t want to process the guilt they feel.”
I shook my head, “Lacy started life as a dog, she doesn’t really know how to lie. I haven’t taught her, so now I believe her. I know how parents are about defending their kids, they’ll employ all sorts of mental gymnastics to avoid acknowledging the poor behavior of their brats; you know, Mr. Master of Science, ‘denial’.” I smiled at the last, to ensure he knew that I was teasing. I actually respected his formal education and he’d been right about the concept of avoidance. Lacy was pretty young still… Nah! I couldn’t start doubting her… she was a good girl.
We discussed the possibilities of other wildlife that could have been involved or even humans. In the end, the Lord High Sheriff of the county decided that it would remain a mystery. He’d put, ‘animal predation’ on the report so the owner could file an insurance claim for the loss. I think he may still have suspected Lacy but he let it go; mainly because there was no real evidence but also because he was a country sheriff and we were friends. Always easier to believe the reality we want Mr. Psych Major.
**** * ****
Benny Diaz had had a long day. This last service had been the worst. It had taken him two hours to find the, “manufactured home” on its quarter-acre plot. Why can’t they just call them trailers? Hiding the wheels and adding fake shutters doesn’t change anything, he thought with distaste. Doesn’t matter, I’ll soon be home and enjoying Donetta’s fine cooking. Now he needed to ensure that no feral animals or humans had taken up residence in or around the trailer or the little shed to one side before he risked an approach up to the raised porch and knocked on the front door. Per policy, he knocked on the door and called out his name and company and that he was there to serve process. No answer, no surprise.
He checked the windows and saw that the lights were out. He was pretty sure that the power had been cut off already. He posted the notice on the door that gave warning that the mortgage payments of one Kenneth Elbert were in arrears and that the foreclosure process would begin in sixty days. There was more to the initial notice and the bank had added the names of the co-beneficiaries of Kenneth Elbert’s last will and testament, his twin niece and nephew, Nancy and Drew Elbert. Done! Now for hom…he didn’t get to finish the thought, as he suddenly found himself airborne and flying from the raised porch at the front door.
The earth rose up to meet him and he felt some of the ribs on his left side snap. Some on the right may have been snapped as well but the shredded flesh above them stung, burned, and hurt too much for him to be sure. He attempted to choke in a breath, in genuine misery, when a set of jaws clamped onto the back of his neck and the beast that had been Drew Elbert shook him like a terrier shakes rats… his neck snapped just like a rodent. His final thought was of, Donetta’s fine cooking… now he’d be on the receiving end of supper…
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Valerie drove up to the trailer where her erstwhile soon to be sister in law and her parents had lived. Where the parents and her brother had died. It wasn’t a terrible place, it was a fairly recent model of manufactured home. Phil had helped Kenny Elbert build that really nice, if very tall porch. The whole place sat on a slight slope that left the front entrance higher off the ground than the back-door entrance. She’d never been here as a child or teen. Lacy Elbert was younger than both she and her brother, so there was no need to go out of the way. The place looked empty though, despite the newer model car parked in the driveway, and had that quality of silence that speaks of lingering abandonment… even the air… smelled of…
Fffaaaugh! She exclaimed as she retched and the acid rose into her chest and burned uncomfortably. The smell out in the yard was foul: blood, opened bowels, and early stages of decay. Something had clearly expired in a violent manner nearby, something large… There it was, a mass of dried gore, lumps of flesh, and some scattered, broken bones; the rounded mound of a skull protruded from the middle… a human skull! She realized in consternation.
She scrambled for her phone, dialed the emergency number, and darted her gaze around to scan for danger. Likely long gone but she didn’t want to take chances. The nearest neighbors had property lines that ran up near the home but their houses and mobiles were far enough from this one that everyone had at least the illusion of privacy and there were screens of brush on the front and back property lines of the trailer. That meant there were likely no eyes on her. However, she walked back to her jeep and stood by the driver door. The signal was pretty weak, so she didn’t want to risk losing it by getting inside the metal box on wheels. Besides, she’d seen too many horror movies where people jumped into cars to be safe, then…Wham! The monster or whatever, got them…
The Dispatcher finally answered and asked for the nature of her emergency. She gave her location and said that she had found human remains. “… No, fresh remains, the blood looks dried but I didn’t want to go near the thing, it’s grotesque.” The operator assured her that deputies and ‘the ambalance’ were on the way and she should remain calm and stay on the line. Valerie rolled her eyes and thought uncharitably, If I have to keep conversing with you Cousin Ellie May, I will lose it. She pretended to have signal issues, then, “dropped” the call.
She looked around nervously, she knew that it would take time for help to arrive. She warily watched the wood line on the north side of the property. Any creepy crawlers would come from that direction. She was startled and adrenaline shock washed through her body when the double tap of a small car horn sounded sharply from behind her. Merde! I’m tired of these jump scares! She shouted internally as she turned to face the roadway. A small car that had seen better days… long ago… sat rattling and rumbling at the driveway entrance but still facing down the road… likely a neighbor.
“Howdy, you looking for the Elberts?” A youngish man in a ball cap asked as he leaned his elbow on the open window.
Valerie eyed him. She knew enough about the people in the area to understand that he was likely just trying to help and was only a little nosey. “Actually, I know what happened to them, my brother Philippe was dating Lacy. I just came to see because of… what happened.”
He nodded, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m in the next house up the way with my folks. I met Phil, he sure was nice. I’m sorry about your loss… You just had that look about you that said you might need help.”
Valerie nodded, “Well actually, I just got off the phone with the sheriff’s department dispatch. There are human remains over there on the far side of the porch. A real mess. Would you mind staying here with me until they arrive? It should be only a few minutes.”
The young man hesitated just a moment, to process what he’d just heard, then nodded. He moved his car so that it would not block the driveway, then parked it and got out to approach Valerie. “Sean Mason” he said as he extended his hand for a shake.
“Val LeFevre.” She responded, I grew up around here but have been gone a few years.
“Yeah, I remember Phil said something about a big sister in the big city. So where…” at that point the breeze shifted and the smell registered and he blanched and stepped backwards and waved his hand frantically as though fending off an assault on his nostrils.
Despite her stress level, Valerie had to suppress a laugh at the look on his face. Yet Sean seemed to handle it well, he recovered his composure and walked a little closer to the pile that had once been a person. “I wouldn’t get too close.” Valerie warned. “He or… she, who can tell? Is beyond first aid and the cops will likely want to look for evidence. Wouldn’t want to mess up the crime scene.”
He nodded and halted his forward progress but stared. “I don’t know but I think it’s a guy. That’s a tie near the skull. Maybe just blood spatter but I think it’s an ugly tie…”
…Shortly the wail of sirens sounded in the distance and the cavalry arrived to save the day. It was late afternoon and getting on toward the end of the day before they released Valerie from the scene. They’d cut John loose within an hour… he had to get to work at the plant. Valerie, who was a relative stranger and who had filed a recent suspicious report, well, she had to remain on the foul-smelling scene. The deputies had finished speaking with her and asked her to wait, then had gotten busy. She hung out with the nice lead paramedic, Julie while the techs processed the scene and waited for he Sheriff and JP to arrive.
She and Julie could hear snippets of the conversation the others had: “…same as the steer the other day…” “…had to be big, just like that one…Brooks…” “…footprints…woods…” Valerie jumped a little when Julie spoke, “We had a scene like this a while back. Well, a little different but just as messy. Over at the Brooks’ house, used to be the Lee family’s place?” She looked at Val to see if there was a hint of recognition.
“Yes, I know where the Lees lived. I went to school with one of the daughters. Who are the Brooks’?”
Julie shrugged, “Just one, Mr. Brooks, an older man and his dog… well I guess they’d both be, ‘Brooks’” She laughed a little at that and it seemed to Val that only Julie knew why that was funny. He’d just had to shoot Lacy Elbert; you may have heard rumors about that or seen the one news report. He had a nasty scratch on his arm from some wild person or critter… something big…” She raised her chin toward the scene and Val followed her gaze, quickly lost in thought…
**** * ****
Within the hedge and brush property boundary squatted two unnaturally still figures, each with its large ears tuned toward what the humans said. They were pleased that it had not taken long to draw attention after they took out the human that was taking away the home that Uncle Kenny had meant for them.
They soon knew that the Valerie-human was related to Cousin Lacy’s boyfriend. Lacy had probably not intended to kill him. Drew listened carefully to what the females said and Nancy focused on the conversation of the humans who worked around what they called, “the scene”. They shortly had the information they’d sought for some time: an old man and his dog had attacked their cousin and killed her, now they knew where he lived… “Brooks”, the old, “Lee Place”…
**** * ****
Deputy Barnum made it to the scene at the Elbert residence, near the beginning of his shift, just in time to meet with the clean-up crew assigned to pick up the corpse. They worked by stand lights and the headlights of their car since it was past nightfall. He would only have to be on site for a short time. “Hey fellas, you need help with anything?”
“Nah, we got it Barnum, look out for the smell, still some left.” One of the techs advised him. “Nowhere near as bad as that Elbert chic but still pretty ripe.”
A deep throated angry growl arose from just within the wood line. It was quickly followed by a slightly higher pitched one and then some scuffling noises and the breaking of branches as large bodies moved more deeply into the forest. Barnum looked up startled and the two remaining techs whipped their heads towards the trees. There was no sign that anything was there and only the movement of a few small branches indicated that anyone or anything had been just out of sight… observing. “I’m going to the trunk to get my rifle… just in case.” Barnum informed the others.
As his trunk lid squealed open and he reached for his AR platform rifle, a deep octave roar arose from within the woods, quickly joined by a howl of anger, frustration, and grief. The reverberations sent cold shivers up Barnum’s spine and the two techs finished up quickly. He was very happy when they cleared the scene and didn’t envy the Sheriff Cloud and Justice Jenny Fiore, who still had to notify the widow. Despite the mess of the body, they had quickly identified the victim by his license plates, what was left of his face, and the driver license in his wallet. It was only on his way back to the more settled areas where he normally patrolled that Barnum thought about the report that Valerie LeFevre had made. It sounded like what she had described, giant wolves that could run on two legs or four…
**** * ****
I awakened at 04:44 exactly, according to my phone. I felt like I’d heard something. The air condition must have been running hard, it felt cold in the bedroom, even with Miriam’s warm body beside me. I lay there and listened and thought about getting up to adjust the thermostat but I really didn’t want to, I wanted to sleep. I’d just started to drift off to dreamland when I shot up at the sound of deep throated howls that emerged from the woods behind the house. That’s not Lacy! I thought. Sounds like two or more. Sounds more like that other Lacy…
Miriam, accustomed to arising quickly for emergencies stirred and asked why Lacy had come to visit so early and why she felt the need to make so much noise. She apparently hadn’t fully awakened. “It’s alright love, sleep on, I’ll take a look.”
I crept down the stairs, shotgun in one hand, handheld spotlight in the other. I was ready in case of another werewolf attack. Once you’ve experienced one, you will never feel completely safe. At least I hadn’t and when I reached the front door, I shuddered. The sounds I’d heard the night I had to kill Lacy Elbert had returned, the heavy treads on the front porch, the scratching and rattling at the door. I clicked off the safety and prepared to blast away through the front portal to my home once again… when I heard a different howl cut through the gloom of the night outside… Lacy’s howl!
Once more my girl and I would face the danger side by side; I knew she was there to help. Her sound had come from very close to the house, I couldn’t risk a blind shot through the door. I shifted over to one of the windows on either side of the door. I hung the handle of the big light on my thumb and used the rest of my fingers to grasp the curtain and pull it aside. My already pounding pulse skipped ahead several beats when I saw what the dim exterior lights displayed, The face was a close match for the one I’d seen in the woods after it attacked Lacy and then again when Lacy Elbert had burst through my front door in animal fury.
The beast snarled at me through the glass but quickly looked over its shoulder. Another, even larger creature stood beside it, facing full on into the front yard, lit by the gibbous moon. Both creatures spied something just out of my vision, a shadowy figure with glowing red eyes; Lacy was here to help, I had to back her. Both monsters leapt from the porch and moved incredibly swiftly towards my girl. I ran to the front door and flung it open, heedless of any threat they may pose. I’d taken down one werewolf with a 12 Gauge, I could handle two…
The situation evolved quickly out of my control as Lacy bounded away into the trees, the others in hot pursuit. The big one stopped and looked back at me when I stepped out on the porch and screamed, “Stop! You leave her alone, bastards!” It hesitated and was lost, I was able to hit it with at least a few pellets of .00 Buckshot. The blast set my ears to ringing and the impact set the beast to snarling after a startled yelp of pain and surprise. I used the recoil to pump in the next round, a slug but there was nothing ahead of me but darkness. I stepped back inside to retrieve the spotlight I’d dropped when I saw that ghastly face at my window. I shone it into the woods and could find nothing. I heard a hunting howl drift through the trunks and limbs, then some other sounds, almost like barks and snarls but they faded into the night. I had no way to track them or to help my Lacy…
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